this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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[–] praise_idleness@sh.itjust.works 45 points 2 months ago (2 children)

F-35 fighter jet. You try to resell that shit.

[–] Boris_NotTooBadinoff@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd go bankrupt 0.00001 seconds into the maintenance cycle

[–] mlg@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

The ECU is unable to communicate with the rear RWR antenna, please contact your local Lockheed Martin dealership for service

[–] Teknikal@eviltoast.org 7 points 2 months ago

I'm sure China would put in a bid for one, your life wouldn't be worth living after though you would need serious plastic surgery a new identity and even if you moved to China I'm pretty sure you would have a accident eventually.

[–] athairmor@lemmy.world 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They found me, I don't know how but they found me

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[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Atomic Basketball Supermen don't grow themselves, bub.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood

[–] tilefan@lemm.ee 34 points 2 months ago

somebody else's kidney

[–] Boris_NotTooBadinoff@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Something valuable you say....hmmm, let me think about it for a sec

[–] merari42@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Don't forget to rub it with lemons to make the invisible ink visible

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 4 points 2 months ago

Hold on a minute! I'm taking my minute back

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

As a normal person with no underground connections, maybe a significantly sized diamond? I don’t even know where to begin to be able to sell it. And any stolen large diamond will definitely raise alarms if I bring it anywhere legal to sell.

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Find a shady diamond dealer in Morocco, that's how my uncle managed it.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Or just any ol pawn shop on the bad side of town. Those guys never notify the police, even when they're legally obligated to do so. Although, if you go to the wrong pawn shop and they know it's stolen, they might just jack you themselves.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

A famous work of art like the Mona Lisa, maybe? It would be super hard to steal and you might not be able to fence it because it's too hot. Something like that would immediately go viral on the news and everyone on the planet would be looking out for it.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 11 points 2 months ago

some people steal art just for the thrill and don't even attempt to sell

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Stolen AGAIN?! (The theft plays a part in the painting's fame.)

[–] a_new_sad_me@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

I understand from some podcast that the Mona Lisa is famousbecause it was stolen. Before that it was just another painting.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HappycamperNZ@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

You are worth it!

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

That's not necessarily valuable, exactly. Yes, companies charge a lot for consumer ink jet printer ink, but prices go down dramatically when you're talking about commercial printing. A two liter bottle of high-end dye sublimation ink runs about $200 (might be up since I last bought in 2021), and the dye sublimation ink for the HP printer I operate costs about $700/10L.

If your printer has replaceable print heads that aren't part of the ink cartridge, and if you can retrofit a bulk ink system, then you quickly find out that ink is pretty inexpensive.

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A balloon on free balloon day?

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

It's not stealing if you give it back afterwards

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

A crude oil supertanker. It would probably break international law to sell it to anyone willing to buy it.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

You'd be surprised at how many nations would be willing to break that international law for some cheap oil.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I feel like "getting away with it" has that covered, so it would be totally worth it.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought the stealing part you got away with but not the selling part

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 1 points 2 months ago

easy fix, don't sell it. turn it into a cruise ship to launder all the oil money.

[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Mike will definitely knock you out.

[–] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 10 points 2 months ago

Trix.

Silly rabbit, trix are for kids.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Nice try, thieves. I'm not giving you any ideas for things to steal. You should steal this idea instead.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Diamonds, or any sort of gemstone, as trying to sell those things would probably be as risky as stealing them in the first place.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
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[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago
[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago
[–] LunarLoony@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago
[–] tover153@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 months ago

Iowa here: manure

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I guess we doin riddles now

[–] tapwater@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Incan matrimonial head masks

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is there a lot of money in... ah... Incan... Matrimonial head masks?

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Boatloads. If you can sell them, which you can’t.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Some people lack vision.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

Stocks or other bonds.

They have serial numbers and can be tracked/locked out from the system.

[–] subignition@fedia.io 2 points 2 months ago
[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

All the gold in the ocean

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