this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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2004 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 59 minutes ago
[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 hour ago

NO, IM FINE. ITS ALLERGIES.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 3 points 1 hour ago

"just a little better" probably an understatement

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 64 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

So it’s fake because 4chan. But also it’s fake because even if you’re late deafened you need to learn how to hear after getting cochlear implants.

Also because it’s rare for adults fluent in sign language with a supportive network to choose CIs unless late deafened

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 minutes ago

the real question is if it's also gay too.

dont ask me i don't use four chan.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago

what if they're both fat

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 48 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

This is fake, but not gay.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 15 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Did Anon specify their gender?

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 9 points 8 hours ago

CAN I BE OFFENDED ON ANON'S BEHALF PLEASE

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 3 points 8 hours ago

No, I assumed it for a stupid joke.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 18 points 12 hours ago

Turns out anon is a female

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 177 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Who else was waiting for the plot twist? I thought she dumps him because his voice sounds like a drowning pig in panic or so... :'D

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 34 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

After my girlfriend gained the ability to smell, she dumped me. She hates roses now though

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 11 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

How do you suddenly gain that ability? Are there implants for smell as well? Or did they extract some lego bricks that she stuffed up her nose as a kid?

[–] match@pawb.social 12 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

might've recovered from long COVID

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 7 points 12 hours ago

As she apparantly liked roses before and now does no longer, I read it as 'she was born without the ability to smell'.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago

I misread the first twist as "she's dead" and thought anon's love life just took a turn for the worst.

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[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 146 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

If someone is deaf from birth and gains hearing from implants later in life, you whisper in their ear and they can't see your lips they won't understand because they have never heard the audio before. Is this correct?

[–] frazw@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

How could you possibly know what a visual representation of a sound sounds like if you've never had the relationship between the two pointed out to you??

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 9 points 12 hours ago

Yes, but it’s not just deaf from birth people. Your brain has to wire itself to understanding the signals from the implant

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 86 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah. Unless she is only partially deaf or had hearing before and lost it, she won’t understand him.

[–] Whirlygirl9@kbin.melroy.org 45 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

or he may have signed while saying it.

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[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

In the beggining he said after a while she noticed or something like that so it means she had partial hearing loss.

[–] AccountMaker 7 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

I figured that she noticed him visually, a shadow was cast or she saw movement. Anon also said that she heard her mom "for the first time" when she got the implant.

Taking all this into account, while the greentext seems to have avoided the first label of homosexuality, the verity of the story nevertheless has to be put into question.

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 hours ago

"a shadow was cast"

Ominous 😄

"I move closer to he"

Anon may be gay too

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 124 points 20 hours ago (3 children)

I like to think based on how this story is worded she always had implants but never knew to turn them up

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 1 points 33 minutes ago

But she sure plays a mean pinball.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 15 hours ago

losing the user manual is a bitch

[–] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 44 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

what if we all have implants but never knew how to turn them down?

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 45 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

a screwdriver does the trick, its a one time adjustment though

Just make sure to get a thin one and wiggle it a bit, the screw is tiny and waaaay down there. ^please^ ^don't^ ^do^ ^this^

[–] sir_pronoun@lemmy.world 56 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe it was a bit much to ask that during such an emotional moment? I mean, let the woman decide when she has her wits together..

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 73 points 17 hours ago

don't worry, greentexts are fiction

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 30 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I never expect when greentexts hit right in the feels.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 23 points 18 hours ago

Never knowing what to expect is the fun part of reading greentexts.

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