this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 35 comments
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[–] HKPiax@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Imma be the weird one: I use my tongue when I eat chips. I get a bowl, I fill it with cips, and then I stick my tongue like a frog onto one at a time, and it sticks a little bit, enough for me to bring it in and eat it.

It’s weird but my hands are always squeaky clean so idgaf

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

Do you make the mlem noise

[–] HKPiax@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 8 points 21 hours ago

Good. I will rest easy tonight knowing this.

[–] beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

Asking the real questions

[–] AccountMaker 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] atkion@sh.itjust.works 8 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I use chopsticks with popcorn

[–] syreus@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

This is the way.

[–] JohnWorks@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

Yup I do the same thing with popcorn... At least when I get the popcorn initially from concessions.

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 39 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Chopsticks. Use them. It takes a little practice, but they are perfect for snacking, especially popcorn. Cheetos are easiest of the chips, but others are possible. No more residue on your finger tips, or the backs of your hands from reaching into the bag. I also switched to chopsticks for things like salads (fruit or vege variety), noodles, and getting olives and such out of jars. Even a good stew or chili can be eaten with chopsticks and a spoon. Now I just need to get better at using chopsticks with my nondominant hand.

[–] lemmur@szmer.info 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Finally a fellow chopstick ninja. I knew I wasn't the only one!

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fellow chopstick master checking in. I've been told by a TON of expats that I could make a decent amount of money just eating as an extra in Japanese/Korean/Chinese television/film. I might have considered it in my 20s, but not now that I'm almost retired.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is that why all the background actors eating with chopsticks are suspiciously young?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Could be. I think they may have been willing to offer me a premium because I'm shockingly white, with blue/green eyes, and had blonde hair at the time. My dad just taught us all how to use chopsticks as kids, and I spent a semester in college eating everything with them, mainly so that I could.

Edit: oh, and I'm left handed, which is considered lucky in those cultures, from what I've been told.

[–] Szyler@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I use a fork to eat cheesedoodles. They are perfectly porous for the fork to pierce Adhd stick

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Seconding chopsticks, they're a little tricky to use but you get used to them with practice. It's nice to not have gross hands after snacking.

Or you can also go the whole I'm a gross monster route and just shake the bag into your mouth, I'm certainly guilty of that.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 points 14 hours ago

And I guess if you really don't wanna put in the chopsticks practice time you could get those "trainer" ones for kids that are essentially tongs.

Not gonna look too sophisticated with em at a restaurant but they work well enough for snacks at home. I've been using chopsticks for awhile so I can't remember how long it took to feel proficient, but I'm always for lazier alternatives 👍

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 50 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Do not let her dorito hands touch your dick! Don’t let em!

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 59 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The penis would be fine, it's the controller that matters

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Exactly. I can wash my dick. If cheeto dust gets inside that analog stick it's not ever coming out

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Lick my fucking controller? Eugh! Who knows what kinda germs are on that thing. At least licking a penis is actually fun.

[–] Ediacarium@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Agreed. But that doesn't work with the analog stick

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Doritos hands touch my dick all the time...

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you happen to moderate any discord servers by chance?

Only the important ones.

[–] ARk@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

Just lick it off.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's ok if she uses chopsticks!

[–] laz@lemmy.umucat.day 1 points 12 hours ago

We need c/sounding

That just gives her a dorito flavoured dick to enjoy!

[–] xavier666@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Yes, the small particles hurt like hell like low power bee stings...or so I have been told

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Keep your dick beaters off of me!

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

Hehe, no offense to my gf, but yea, it do be like that.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz -2 points 14 hours ago

When drag was growing up, all of the siblings had assigned controllers. Drag made sure of that. The little ones got to touch their own greasy filth, and drag's was nice and clean. If drag had to touch a sibling's controller, drag needed to wash drag's claws or it wouldn't feel right.