this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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all 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 52 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Do not let her dorito hands touch your dick! Don’t let em!

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The penis would be fine, it's the controller that matters

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Doritos hands touch my dick all the time...

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Do you happen to moderate any discord servers by chance?

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Only the important ones.

[–] ARk@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

Just lick it off.

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Exactly. I can wash my dick. If cheeto dust gets inside that analog stick it's not ever coming out

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Ediacarium@feddit.org 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Agreed. But that doesn't work with the analog stick

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Lick my fucking controller? Eugh! Who knows what kinda germs are on that thing. At least licking a penis is actually fun.

That just gives her a dorito flavoured dick to enjoy!

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's ok if she uses chopsticks!

[–] laz@lemmy.umucat.day 1 points 1 week ago

We need c/sounding

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Keep your dick beaters off of me!

[–] xavier666@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

Yes, the small particles hurt like hell like low power bee stings...or so I have been told

[–] HKPiax@lemmy.world 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Imma be the weird one: I use my tongue when I eat chips. I get a bowl, I fill it with cips, and then I stick my tongue like a frog onto one at a time, and it sticks a little bit, enough for me to bring it in and eat it.

It’s weird but my hands are always squeaky clean so idgaf

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 37 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Do you make the mlem noise

[–] HKPiax@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Asking the real questions

[–] AccountMaker 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] atkion@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I use chopsticks with popcorn

[–] syreus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

This is the way.

[–] JohnWorks@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Yup I do the same thing with popcorn... At least when I get the popcorn initially from concessions.

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 42 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Chopsticks. Use them. It takes a little practice, but they are perfect for snacking, especially popcorn. Cheetos are easiest of the chips, but others are possible. No more residue on your finger tips, or the backs of your hands from reaching into the bag. I also switched to chopsticks for things like salads (fruit or vege variety), noodles, and getting olives and such out of jars. Even a good stew or chili can be eaten with chopsticks and a spoon. Now I just need to get better at using chopsticks with my nondominant hand.

[–] lemmur@szmer.info 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Finally a fellow chopstick ninja. I knew I wasn't the only one!

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fellow chopstick master checking in. I've been told by a TON of expats that I could make a decent amount of money just eating as an extra in Japanese/Korean/Chinese television/film. I might have considered it in my 20s, but not now that I'm almost retired.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is that why all the background actors eating with chopsticks are suspiciously young?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Could be. I think they may have been willing to offer me a premium because I'm shockingly white, with blue/green eyes, and had blonde hair at the time. My dad just taught us all how to use chopsticks as kids, and I spent a semester in college eating everything with them, mainly so that I could.

Edit: oh, and I'm left handed, which is considered lucky in those cultures, from what I've been told.

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Seconding chopsticks, they're a little tricky to use but you get used to them with practice. It's nice to not have gross hands after snacking.

Or you can also go the whole I'm a gross monster route and just shake the bag into your mouth, I'm certainly guilty of that.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

And I guess if you really don't wanna put in the chopsticks practice time you could get those "trainer" ones for kids that are essentially tongs.

Not gonna look too sophisticated with em at a restaurant but they work well enough for snacks at home. I've been using chopsticks for awhile so I can't remember how long it took to feel proficient, but I'm always for lazier alternatives 👍

[–] Szyler@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I use a fork to eat cheesedoodles. They are perfectly porous for the fork to pierce Adhd stick

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

Hehe, no offense to my gf, but yea, it do be like that.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 0 points 1 week ago

When drag was growing up, all of the siblings had assigned controllers. Drag made sure of that. The little ones got to touch their own greasy filth, and drag's was nice and clean. If drag had to touch a sibling's controller, drag needed to wash drag's claws or it wouldn't feel right.