A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
“To all those growing skeptical of this party’s strategies and overall agenda, let me just say we hear you loud and clear. Rest assured we will be doing everything short of interpreting that sound into words and responding to those words in any way shape or form.”
This is an all-timer.
100% Spot-On article. The Hard Times nails it again.
Pffft!!! If your idea of "learning" is to copy any of the fascist ideas of trump, then yes, they should NOT learn anything. Did Jews after Hitler go fascist...... Oh wait.
I love how the left has adopted casual racism and anti Semitism from the right. Way to go
What should they really learn? I'm sick of the blame being placed on decent people not doing enough.
How about we blame the pieces of crap that support Trump who has too many disgusting qualities to list.
The blame still stops at the leading Democrats.
Consider this. How could so many people vote for someone who is such a clear threat to democracy?
Simple. Because despite everything they said, his opponents never actually treated him as a threat to democracy.
Biden appointed a Republican to run the Department of Justice, and that Republican sat on his hands, refusing to do any investigation of Trump until he was forced to do so by House investigative committees. It took TWO YEARS before an investigation even began. This delay allowed Trump to eventually run out the clock.
Trump should have been in chains on the day Biden took office. He should have faced trial in a military tribunal. Any attempt by SCOTUS to protect him should have been declared "a coup from the bench" and seen those justices charged as accomplices after the fact.
THAT is how you need to handle an actual threat to democracy. Trump should have been put on trial, through whatever means necessary. Hell, ideally he should have received a capital sentence for his crimes against the republic. He betrayed his country. He is guilty of treason. The man should have hanged for his crimes.
But that wasn't how Biden treated it. Trump was an EPOCHAL THREAT TO DEMOCRACY, but not enough to risk angering conservative white voters in suburban Philadelphia. He was THE NEXT INCARNATION OF HITLER, but not so Hitlerian as to justify any kind of dubious legal maneuvers that a fascist like Trump would have no problem pulling off.
Biden and co have been shouting that Trump is a threat do democracy for the better part of a decade at this point. But they never actually treated him like one. Actions speak louder than words. Democrats said Trump was a threat to democracy, but they never actually treated him like one. The Democrats, through their actions, made it clear that they didn't think Trump was a real threat to democracy, so the voters acted accordingly.
If Democrats were actually serious about the threat, Trump would have been tried by military tribunal, sentenced, and been locked away or put in the ground two years ago.
They should learn how to win, for one.
You know what they need more of? Bernie's populist rhetoric. A promise that something will actually be different. Obama won on that promise, and then did nothing with it.
15 million people don't go missing unless your party is dead.
And bare in mind, I'm not saying anyone should have voted 3rd party; we can't do that without at least RCV. But something needs to reanimate the Democrats' corpse or we will all die at the hands of the next Mussolini.
I mean, we can blame the DNC some. But we should definitely be blaming Trump voters and non-voters.
The reverse side of this (that the Onion should do next) is:
"Oh yeah. I didn't go out and vote. Surely the 30th time in a row means the DNC will learn their lesson and then promote leftist policy like I want!"
TBH I'd be afraid of them learning anything with headlines telling them to blame Palestine supporters and Minorities.
The only "The Onion" rather than "Not The Onion" part of this is the idea that they would announce it.
Also the idea of future free and fair elections appears unlikely.
I'd say "The Onion" part of this is that the democratic party doesn't need to learn any lessons because it's doing exactly what they want to do. The people who will refuse to learn from this are the people who still put faith in them and the democratic system in general.
Sure democrats would prefer to win but the most important thing to them is making sure that policies to the left of the republican party are never a serious threat to the donors they both share. That's pretty obvious at this point, right?
Ding ding ding