this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
44 points (68.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26903 readers
1579 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I'm not against those who work for sex, but the idea to earn for a living doesn't seem nice. IMO, sex should be for 2 people (or more for others who prefer polyamory) who wants to be intimate/romantic with each other. My point is money should not be the purpose.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 70 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Why do you get to have an opinion on something between two strangers that otherwise doesn’t affect you

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I have an opinion because it affects anyone sexually active that is not in an exclusive relationship. Legalized sex work would increase sex worker healthcare, directly reducing national STD numbers.

[–] teawrecks@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Legalized and well regulated*👌

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] protist@mander.xyz 55 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My point is money should not be the purpose.

Take this and apply it literally every aspect of western culture. It seems like you personally have strong feelings about how you think sex should be, but there are many, many people who disagree. We live in a society, I say mind your own business if someone's doing something you don't like that also doesn't affect you

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We live in a society

Found the Joker.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Out of curiosity, why does sex need a purpose? Why should it be or not be for anything in particular? What makes it any different from, say, juggling?

Sex work isn't just prostitution, by the way. It's anyone making a living off of sexual content. If you're shooting porn or are a cam girl, you're a sex worker as well.

Prostitution is problematic in that currently, because it's an illegal service, it's largely being performed by people who don't have a choice in the matter. Human trafficking is a huge problem. If prostitution were legalized and regulated, if the societal "we" changed our collective attitudes towards it, life would improve for a lot of people. I struggle to phrase this next bit in a tactful way. If you're against improving the lives of so many people because it doesn't align with your view of sex should be for, that's pretty shitty of you. Not saying that's the case, I don't live inside your head, but that's how I see it.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

In places where prostitution is legal, the amount of human trafficking goes way down, because the brothels in these places are usually inspected pretty regularly. They have to follow regulations or else they will be forcefully shutdown, and the employees being there willingly is usually one of those regulations.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] madjo@feddit.nl 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Office workers also sell their bodies.

Builders sell their bodies too.

Sex work is no different than any other line of work.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 28 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Adults have the abillity to engage in free enterprise, as long as all parties involved consent I see no issue.

Regarding sex, the only times you get to have oppinions about another persons sex life is...

...when you are part of it.

...when it involves underage people.

Why should money be a taboo reason to have sex? You don't get to pick and choose what motivation other people have for sex.

You don't have to engage with this type of enterprise if you don't want to, so leave other's alone.

In general, prostitution will allways happen, you can try whatever laws you want, but you can't stop it. The only thing prohibition acomplishes is to deny sex workers the protections they need to stay safe.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or if it's not consensual, we should care about that too.

You generally implied this but it's worth repeating.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago

Very true!

Thank you for bringing that to light.

I also condiser passive participants to be part of the activity and get to have a say.

Stuff like exhibitionism, don't have sex in public view since that forces everyone in view to take part in your activity, even if only passively.

[–] Presi300@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Outlawing prostitution is the same as outlawing drugs, it doesn't fix the problem, it just makes it unregulated...

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Regulate it, keep the workers safe, ensure they're well compensated and tested. Basically, treat is like every other profession.

If two consenting adults want to exchange money for sexual favors, who cares? If the worker chooses to sell their body for money via sexual acts, why is that inherently worse than someone who does construction selling their body for a living?

[–] sir@lemmy.xxxiver.se 23 points 3 months ago

I think if it doesn’t affect other people, and nobody is being exploited/everyone is participating willingly, then it’s none of my business what others choose to do.

I’m actually trying to help sex workers, particularly porn Creators, use the fediverse to take control of their social media. I want to help them keep control of their own destiny - https://xxxiver.se

[–] savvywolf@pawb.social 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There are two main "career paths" here:

  • Those that willingly choose sex work.
  • Those that are pressured into sex work.

Imo, the former is perfectly fine (because everyone involved is consenting). The latter is problematic and the actual problem we need to solve.

So many people conflate the two and assume that all sex work is exploitation. All mixed in with the implicit sexism that says women shouldn't have any autonomy over their own body and sexuality.

[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It's a pretty high percentage.

But it's a pretty high percentage for similar reasons to illegal pot sales funding terrorists or gangs/cartels. The legal status puts it way more in the purview of organized crime.

[–] savvywolf@pawb.social 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean, is it a high percentage? Feels like the kind of thing that you could fudge figures either way.

And yeah, we need to empower sex workers and give them legal and health support.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

This is where a good ol' "hate the game, not the player" applies.

I have no judgement of the people who do it to make money. Any issue I have is with the economy and culture that drives some to do it to survive when they wouldn't otherwise choose to.

Your point about money shouldn't be the purpose... but some people, especially women, are stuck where sex work is their best paying option. It's not their fault.

In a perfect world where no one is forced to do any particular labor to survive, when consent is given 100% of the time, and everyone's safe, I have zero issue with sex work from any angle. In this imperfect world, my issue is with the system and not the individuals working in the industry.

[–] hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Yes. All the issues with sex work come from cultural and systemical issues. For example that it's very opaque for people outside of the industry, the stereotypes you have to deal with, people judging you constantly or it's not illegal everywhere.

And not to say there's not some fucked up shit happening in the industry.

I think the argument should be the same like with drugs: it's generally good, but it can be a problem and just for the transparency and oversight we need to make it legal everywhere but well regulated. That's my opinion.

[–] tehmics@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Sex trafficking or impoverished/addicted people turning to sex work, no. Society has failed them and we need to fix the underlying problems.

Sex work as a concept I take no issue with. I think it solves a lot of problems interpersonally. Dating would improve with less need for people to hide their motives. People too busy or uninterested in relationships would have an outlet, and disabled people who otherwise can't attract a partner benefit greatly as well.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I like looking at pictures of naked people, so I'm grateful to those naked people.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Sure it'd be great if basic needs like food, shelter, healthcare and yes, sex, weren't commoditized, but until we get ~~Sexicaid~~ Sexicare for All, I'm fine with people making money from sex and paying for it. Legalize and regulate it for the safety of the workers and the customers.

~~^Someone please come up with a better name than Sexicaid^~~

[–] nickiam2@aussie.zone 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sexycare, or maybe sexicare?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bear@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 3 months ago

Neutral. Everything depends on the people involved and the context. A lot of jobs don't seem nice and money shouldn't be the purpose. That's more a criticism of the economy than of sex work.

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I don't judge at all. Not all sex work is sex for money, but even in that case, I think it's fine. There's nothing magical about sex. And there can be lots of reasons a person might not get all their needs met within a relationship.

I do worry it can be a trap for some, but I think it's a valid choice. Idk. I'm specialized (trapped) in IT work and whore myself out to corporations for money. Ultimately there probably isn't that much of a difference.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Totally fine with sex work. Just keep it safe and be nice.

[–] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago

Eh, it's just a service in exchange for money. Just like a massage parlour or spa or doctor or chiropractor or hair stylist. Sex isn't special.

[–] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 months ago

I have no stake in anything sex related, but I've known others which can be described as insatiable. If they are willing and able to do that for of work, then what's the harm?

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

I don't guess it needs my approval but as long as there is a demand for the service it will happen.

Like you, I just like everyone to get sex for sex, that's how I've always done it, but that's a very recent outlook, it was very gatekept before and women generally were trading sex for something, and men were generally trading something for it. I remember being in high school and the only categories were girlfriend, slut, or just don't have sex, it was so fraught.

I expect there may always be a marketplace. And certainly don't hold any sort of bad feelings towards those trying to market themselves, if you can make a living at it, great.

Went to barber school with a lady who was doing job retraining after getting busted for prostitution. She said she really had enjoyed it, had few clients, all regulars, worked out of her home, made a good living. Wasn't bothering anyone until apparently someone noticed and was bothered.

[–] Presi300@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

It's a type of entertainment. As long as the people involved are of legal age and gave consent... I don't see a problem with it

[–] SGforce@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Do you not believe in casual, not romantic sex?

[–] 65gmexl3@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yeah i forgot about casual thingy. Maybe i should edit my post to include that, but the idea of money being involved is not something i'm comfortable with (yet? - i'm keeping my mind open for this discussion)

[–] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

It's not for you to be comfortable about unless you're planning on paying or getting paid for it. That's like someone who paints their miniatures and agrees to paint the miniatures of a friend not feeling comfortable about money being involved, because he's doing that for other reasons, but there are professional miniature painters.

Anything you do for fun you're likely to be uncomfortable charging for, but you need to remember that that's not your job, and regardless of what your job is there's a good chance that someone out there likes to do the same thing for fun and would feel uncomfortable charging people for it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

It is also called the world's oldest business. They have done it long before I could ever judge it, and they will continue afterwards, whatever my judgement may be.

[–] SkaraBrae@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

Do I "approve" of sex work? It's not my place to either approve or disapprove of what other people do with their time, their money or their bodies. The question is loaded to provide justification for your moral outrage.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I approve of it in that it's legitimate work, unlike being a landlord, and lots of vulnerable people end up doing it as the only method of supporting themselves, as well as a lot of single moms trying to deal with making an income and parenting, etc. I would not disparage anyone doing it. Would I worry about their emotional and physical health and safety doing it? Yes. We have a sex workers collective drop-in center in my city who make efforts to try to help keep them safe, such as testing, condoms, etc, which is great. But I can't help but wonder how someone's mental health would be affected by just being a glorified blow up doll. There was an Ask Reddit once about what people saw on porn sets, and someone who worked on one said all the girls seemed really fake and unhappy and vacant emotionally, and that concerns me. I would not want anyone hurt by doing this work is my point, but I don't object to them doing it of course. Just please take care of yourself!

Edit to add: last weekend my church took a potluck to the local park where there is a small tent encampment of unhoused folks and invited them to eat with us, which they did, which was nice, and although they were shy we all talked a little, and some of them were clearly sex workers from what they talked about. One had what I think was scabies on her skin, and that's the kind of thing that worries me.

[–] Kadaj21@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Not my business, but would hope appropriate precautions are in place for both parties involved.

[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Personally i am ok with sex being for money, as long as its a choice. Nobody should be forced into sex work. One can say that work by definition is exploitation but if one has multiple work options and they choose sex work as a line of work, i am ok with it being an option.

[–] Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 3 months ago

I would never use those services. There is nothing wrong in offering them but I think there is something abusive in accepting the offer. Surely some people do it 100% because they love the work but I am fairly certain that most don't. And those who don't, won't tell you that they don't. So if you accept the service, you might abuse someone's desperation.

[–] 65gmexl3@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I like this answer, but he deleted. It's still in my inbox so I'm gonna share but not mention the commentor's name

In germany sex Work is a normal regulated job like any other. You are insured, receive vacation days, etc. It is accepted here as completely normal work like any other. Because it is. was once in a brothel with a friend. While he was in the room with a lady, talked to the others and asked why they were doing this job. The answer was "I like dicks" and "Its fun and pays very well" To be honest, the ladies seem to enjoy their work more (and earn a lot more) than any job I've had in my life.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

The choice/situation blends in with every occupation so as long as no aggression or wrongful leverage is involved.

load more comments
view more: next ›