this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2024
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[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 185 points 6 months ago (12 children)

Thats gotta be the worst one i have seen so far wow. Whats the opposite of a punchline?

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 190 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I think it's a reference to cyanide smelling like almonds. In particular I remember a Jodi Foster movie The little Girl who lives down the Lane where Jodi poisons a rapist. He says, "It tastes like almonds." as he drinks the tea. Jodi Foster says, "It's the almond extract." knowing it's the cyanide.

So the punchline is setup to be something about poison but gets subverted by the hand grenade.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Theeeere u gooo. And now i look stupid :D Thank you for enlightening us!

Found the clip for anyone interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bds6OYX85gA

Tiny detail, its "the almond cookies"

[–] donio@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And Downfall has a scene for the second half of the joke. (Warning, while it's not graphic you may not want the scene in your head)

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[–] DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 months ago

AL-mond cookies.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 35 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh I got the cyanide reference. Still sucks as a two-sentence horror. Would better suit the plethora of antijoke subs.

[–] TheTetrapod@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

It reminds me of all the dumbass TSH posts that only exist to explain Reddit fun facts, like rabies causing hydrophobia.

[–] verdigris@lemmy.ml 81 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It's an anti-joke. I love it.

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 27 points 6 months ago

For real, this is gold. Read in Norm Macdonald's voice for maximum comedic effect.

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 13 points 6 months ago

Two go through a tunnel. Says the third to the fourth: You, I think we're five. Says the sixth: I don't get it.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 50 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Cyanide smells (and maybe tastes?) like almonds. For people aware of this there is a subversion of expectation. It isn't particularly good joke but taken satirically it's alright.

[–] greedytacothief@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Smells like bitter almonds, which smell like bleach.

https://youtu.be/WYagO-nup6c?si=WdDJy3PP1yDw8wAl. (I really hope I'm remembering the contents of this video correctly, because if I wasn't, that would be embarrassing, but I don't have the time to check right now)

[–] urfavlaura@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I have tasted it

it smells like it but it tastes like lye without the sodium taste

[–] python@programming.dev 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

but what does lye taste like?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 months ago

salty cyanide duh

[–] summerof69@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

What's the purpose of the grenade then? He poisoned her, then blew up with a grenade. Why?

[–] PsychedSy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There was no poison. You're supposed to think she's poisoned, but he meant the grenade.

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[–] Alice@beehaw.org 3 points 6 months ago

It's supposed to be a one-two punch. You're expecting him to kill her with cyanide, but it turns out you were mistaken! Then he kills her anyway

This kind of joke can totally work in a well-paced comedy, but not a two sentence horror. It's a stretch to do it in two sentences.

[–] ProgrammingSocks@pawb.social 44 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It's called an anti-joke and I found it funny. It was obviously set up that way by the poster.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Nah turns out its actually a very smart joke, see Blue_Morpho's reply and my follow up.

[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Anti jokes are capable of being smart. Lmao

Usually anti jokes are funny due to a lack of punchline, but this joke does actually have a functioning punchline and subversion of expectation. It just doesnt work as well if you dont get that the almond bit is about poison.

[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 30 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)
[–] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the worst opening line contest.

https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

2023s winner:

She was a beautiful woman; more specifically she was the kind of beautiful woman who had an hourlong skincare routine that made her look either ethereal or like a glazed donut, depending on how attracted to her you were.

[–] retrieval4558@mander.xyz 20 points 6 months ago

I unironically like this

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 10 points 6 months ago

naw this is gold

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

How are you on 196 and unfamiliar with shitposts

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

It's like the Bulwer-Lytton (writer known for terrible cliche writing, who people intentionally mimic in jest) of two sentence horror.

[–] verdare@beehaw.org 3 points 6 months ago

I genuinely thought it was hilarious. The first sentence is the setup, while the second delivers a misdirection and finishes on an absurd conclusion.

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I would say the opposite of a punchline is throwing a grenade at a motherfucker

[–] darkpanda@lemmy.ca 69 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why would he slide the pin across the floor? That’s the real horror.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 30 points 6 months ago

To advertise to her he's gonna blow himself up. She's already got the cyanide, he's still gotta make a statement

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 68 points 6 months ago (2 children)

2 second horror is gonna be a gold mine when ai movie generators drop

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 6 months ago

Isn't there or wasn't there a TV series based on Two Sentence Horror already?

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[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 27 points 6 months ago (3 children)

For the people who don't know cyanide supposedly smells or tastes like almonds.

[–] Rinna@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

They smell like bitter almonds, which smell very different than the sweet almonds most people are used to. https://youtu.be/WYagO-nup6c?si=E_O44PHdOrSZanX3

[–] Baalf@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I thought it was arsenic.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

HCN smells like ~~burnt~~ almonds. Not sure about the taste.

Edit: bitter, not burnt.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 25 points 6 months ago

One of the best 2 sentence horror stories i've read

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist, his wife was a creature.

[–] Baalf@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Doesn't arsenic supposedly taste like almond?

[–] bigfoot@lemm.ee 17 points 6 months ago
[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think it's cyanide but honestly I've never checked.

[–] subverted_per@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Actually I have both, let me go check it real quick.

[–] myusernameis@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 months ago

Dude, it's been an hour already, are you going to let us know or ... Oh.

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