python

Heyo! Stupid question, but I've been double-guessing myself on this and would love some external input on things.

I've been in group therapy since October (so like, 5 or 6 sessions so far). It's an open mixed group, so people of any type of mental illness are free to come and go. The general aim of the group is Behavioral Therapy and it's led by two psychologists. Sessions consist of a short powerpoint presentation followed by worksheets to be filled out in groups of 3-4 people. Generally I think the topics of the sessions, like time management, emotional regulation, stress management etc. are chosen well and do cover a broad spectrum of knowledge.

But, my issue is that I just get completely emotionally flooded and on edge whenever I go there. Which is normal for me, I start crying every time I get put on the spot about my feelings anyways (I've cried every single time I have ever had to talk to a doctor about anything regarding my mental health). But I kinda assumed it might get better? Like I can choke down the crying for the session at least (if I don't get asked about anything bad), but I always cry on the way back home and it's starting to be pretty distressing. Like I consistently lose the latter half of the day to headaches and recovering, and the amount of times I wake up due to nightmares definitely has gone up significantly since starting therapy.

Another thing is that a new person joined the group, and she has a particularly dramatic inflexion in her voice that sounds exactly like my mother whenever she's fishing for sympathy and being the victim. It's really not this person's fault that they talk like that (she's probably a perfectly fine person!) but I do struggle to not flinch whenever she speaks. Recently we also got put into the same group and I completely zoned out and went unresponsive when she tried talking to me 😅 I didn't mean to offend her really, and I'm not sure why I would react like that, but it just kind of happened..

I'm really trying to work on this kind of emotional reactivity, but the part I'm missing is that within therapy, they've explained the model of [situation -> thought -> action], so being aware of situations that bring you into a specific thought pattern and then re-examining that thought pattern can help shape different actions. I'm neither sure which situations upset me like this nor am I sure what sort of thought would contribute to it, as I don't really have any thoughts when I choke up like that. It just seems like a random bodily reaction that floods me with bad feelings (and I can't even elaborate beyond "bad", even if I know all the emotions I can't really name specifics that I experience).

I know it's dumb, but like, maybe there's a type of therapy that could work better than behavioral therapy? Or do I just need to stick it out and continue going? My insurance has approved weekly sessions until April. There's also the issue that I did get an Adhd diagnosis recently and am currently calling around to find a doctor who is willing to prescribe meds (it's complicated here in Germany). So my struggles might just be an adhd thing?

How have your experiences with therapy been? Are you supposed to feel better after every session? Is it supposed to be bad at first but get better with time?

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/21680128

~~I forgor that creating a community means that i should post in it, have a WIP~~

This is already going to be the third larger iteration on this character, I've been carrying it around for at least a decade now haha

~~I forgor that creating a community means that i should post in it, have a WIP~~

This is already going to be the third larger iteration on this character, I've been carrying it around for at least a decade now haha

Heyo, I was missing a community dedicated to character design and OCs, so I made one 😎

The banner and logo are still to be decided, and I'm still working on the rules and stuff!

War jetzt am Samstag beim Dr. Klinga, und wie erwartet steht die ADS-Diagnose.

Heute hab ich mich mal direkt auf die Suche nach einem Psychiater gemacht der Medikamente verschreiben kann. Im folgenden mal eine Liste der Stellen an denen ichs schon probiert habe und die ich schon auf dem Schirm hab, könnte ne ganz praktische Info für andere Leute im Raum Aachen sein;

❌ PIA am Alexianer
-> Wurde mir explizit vom Klinga empfohlen, telefonisch nicht erreichbar, persönlich war auch niemand anwesend als ich hingegangen bin, aber zumindest wurde auf meine E-Mail Anfrage geantwortet. Am PIA behandeln die kein ADHS sondern stellen nur Diagnosen.

❌ Gemeinschaftspraxis am Kapuzinerkarree
-> Telefonisch nicht erreichbar, also ging ich hin. Das letzte Mal das ich da war war vor fast 3 Jahren. Der Arzt bei dem ich früher war arbeitet da nicht mehr, also bin ich kein Patient mehr. Und für Neupatienten gibt es keine Termine, weil die Praxis bald umzieht.

❌ Praxis Dr. Saltik (Alsdorf)
-> Haben schnell auf meine Email geantwortet: Kompletter Aufnahmestopp für Neupatienten

❔❌ Dr. Vohn (Würselen)
-> Noch keine Antwort auf meine Email. Hab den Namen auf Reddit gefunden, und erst nach dem schreiben der Email weitergelesen - anscheinend verschreibt er nicht gern Medis sondern setzt auf Neurofeedback als Therapie. Wird also wahrscheinlich nichts.

❌ Praxis Wiebusch/ Ludwig-Meier (Laurensberg)
-> Keine Kapazitäten frei, wenn man im Januar nochmal anruft könnte man vielleicht einen Termin für Februar bekommen

❌ Praxis Theilig/Diederichs
-> Keine Kapazitäten frei, frag nächstes Jahr erneut

❌ Anpra
-> Sind Psychotherapeuten, nicht Psychiater

❔❌ Frau Dr. med. Beraat Mersuh-Böcker
-> Beste Warteschleifenmusik die ich je gehört habe, aber niemand geht dran.

❌ Dipl.-Psych. Christoph Orthner
-> "Nein, wir sind sowieso voll. Und dieses Ritalin darf auch nicht jeder verschreiben, da müssen Sie sich drüber informieren"

✅ Praxis Hanoldt/ Balzer (Stolberg)
-> Termin Anfang Februar bekommen!!

❌ Praxis Volker Welge/ Dr. Hui Yan (Stolberg)
-> keine Kapazitäten

❔ Hans Moll (Stolberg)
-> wird morgen angerufen, könnte aber sein dass er schon seit 2 Jahren verstorben ist

❔Hans-Walter Drücke (Stolberg)
-> wird morgen angerufen

❌ NPP-Wuerselen
-> Absage wegen fehlender Kapazitäten, aber recht hilfreich Antwort-Mail die erklärt wie man über die 116117 und über den Hausarzt Dringlichkeitstermine bekommen kann

Ich update die Liste wenn ich mehr Praxen angeklingelt hab. Eine Addressliste hab ich bei Adxs.org auch schon angefordert, die ist aber noch auf dem Weg

If you don't know what that word means, draw what you think it might look like :D

Recipe: Offbrand White Monster and Valerian Extract

It's horrible.

I should be long asleep but an artist I've been following for a while released some new songs and i had to doodle while listening to all of them 💓

You can take the sweater off when you're not sleeping, but it has to be on at night no matter the temperature.

I think I would demand like 200k, just for the discomfort from the scratchiness. I already sleep with a winter blanket all year round so I wouldn't mind how warm it would get.

y'all have probably all long known this, but it's kinda blowing my mind right now so I wanted to share 🤯 the way they drape is also worlds apart:

the yarn used:

I'm getting tested in a bit over two weeks and today was the pre-exam via video call.

The assistant dude that did the interview asked how fiddly/hyperactive I see myself as, and I was like "eh, a bit but not that far above average" Apparently I had been rotating back and forth in my desk chair for the entirety of the preceding 10 mins, which he did point out :|

Apparently it's also not called "Girl math", but "Impulsive over-spending". SMH my head

On an upside though, he also owns reptiles and was happy to indulge an unreasonable amount of questions about his chameleon!!

cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/20786297

bonus pic: