this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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https://www.thewrap.com/jesse-watters-tim-walz-milkshake-masculinity-fox-news/

I cannot wait for all the Fox News sycophants to start drinking their milkshakes straight out of the cup to prove their manliness.

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[–] Carvex@lemmy.world 145 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I bet women don't cover their drinks when Walz walks into the room.

[–] cogman@lemmy.world 71 points 2 months ago (1 children)

See? Weird. All the women do that when I walk in the room. Also I slashed my wife's tires to get her to date me.

I'm Jesse Watters.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

For those who don't know, the tire slashing thing is true. And he admitted it on national TV before ever telling her in person.

[–] kenoh@lemm.ee 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nah, it's fictitious. Do a search for "Jesse Watters slashfic" to learn more.

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I bet women don't cover their drinks when ~~Walz walks~~ Tim Waltzes into the room

I can't believe you just left that perfect opportunity sitting by the wayside!

[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 99 points 2 months ago (9 children)

Fellas is it gay to drink a milkshake with a straw?

Seriously though, how else are you meant to drink one??

[–] cogman@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You open your manly man gullet and pour the entire thing in. Or you shotgun it. Those are the only manly ways to consume beverages.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can boof it like Kavanagh too.

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[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 25 points 2 months ago

Keg Stand! Drink it pledge!

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

you're supposed to rip the cup open and scoop it out with your hands

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[–] iamericandre@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Obviously your supposed to tongue it out of a man’s ass

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[–] ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 75 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I mean, also who calls it a "vanilla ice cream shake"? These people all sound like Mr. Burns.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

J.D. Vance almost certainly calls it a "vanilla ice cream milkshake dessert beverage."

[–] ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"I'm JD Vance and I'm running for vice president. Could I have an ice cream milkshake dessert beverage? Just whatever makes sense. What's that flavor? Vanilla? Ok, sure, I'll try that. I'm JD Vance."

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

"How long have you worked here? Six months? Okay. How long has the cook worked here? You don't know? Ok."

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[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

And women Looove Tim Waltz so this guy just jealous. And fucking weirdo. Using a straw makes me unmanly!? This guy is a nut.

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[–] pastel_de_airfryer@lemmy.eco.br 60 points 2 months ago

That weirdo is... grasping at straws

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 57 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought these weirdos were pro-straws? Something about how putting more plastic in the ocean is actually good for the environment and how bans on plastic straws are a slippery slope to woke Marxist communism or something?

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That's on Tuesdays. On Thursdays straws are bad because man stuff. Keep up!

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[–] aseriesoftubes@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago (5 children)

This is not the first time Watters has talked about straw use on air. His implication is that straws are somehow phallic and a man using one is gay. Watters’ strange obsession tells us more about his own phallus than anything else.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I really want to see him drink a milkshake now.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You just wanna watch it dribble down his chin like a frozen cum blast

Me too

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Actually, I want to see it get stuck in the cup so he ends up tilting to far back and getting a full on facial.

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[–] DarkThoughts@fedia.io 45 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Who the fuck does not use straws in milkshakes? They're literally served with a straw by default because that's how you're supposed to drink them.

And this dumbass knows Tim Walz is married and has kids, right? While he got divorced for being a lousy cheater - which tells you everything.

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 43 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Straws are gay now? Does this guy just chug it?

Men can't have bananas, popsicles, corn dogs, hot dogs, fruity drinks, sugary coffee, and ice cream, and now they can't use straws?

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

and now they can’t use straws?

How TF are you supposed to drink a boba tea? Just take all the balls into your mouth at one time?

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

you think having balls in your mouth isn't gay?

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[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

Men can't have bananas, popsicles, corn dogs, hot dogs, fruity drinks, sugary coffee, and ice cream, and now they can't use straws?

Real men can.

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

Nope, masculinity is too fragile apparently.

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[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What are you supposed to use? A spoon? Has this weird fascist ever been to a fast food drive thru?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're supposed to dislocate your jaw like a snake and pour it down your throat in one big lump like that beer bong you sucked down back when you peaked in your frat days.

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[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This obsession with being ‘manly’ is the least manly thing I can think of. How am I supposed to take you seriously when you’re a whiny little bitch about things like straws?

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[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

While I absolutely hate this argument, I award them 15 points for making a literal straw-man argument.

I hope they choke on the points.

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[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (12 children)

Uh, I'm a woman and I like Tim Walz and think Jesse Watters should be thrown into an active volcano, so I'm not sure where he's getting his info from.

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[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The young men go unseen. They run through the streets screaming "SEE ME! GAZE UPON MY VISAGE AND KNOW FEAR!" The young men shovel vanilla ice cream shakes into their contorted faces and gurgle in triumph. They do not use straws.

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[–] Prandom_returns@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It is so incredibly strange to me that this bullshit can legally pretend to be a news channel, and many people watch it as such.

It's difficult to believe that people are that stupid, seriously.

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[–] Zier@fedia.io 22 points 2 months ago

A straw? A s-t-r-a-w??? A fucking STRAW??? How very dare he drink a milkshake like a normal Human. How dare he! Bastard!

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Always wanted to drag one of these guys onto a construction site and watch them die in 10mins of exhaustion...fucking unmanly lol what an idiot

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[–] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Young men "Don't Feel Seen" By the Democrats

But we at fox news do see them and make sure at every opportunity to make them feel shame and guilt for not reaching the level of masculinity that we define (and change) on a frequent basis.

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[–] Heikki@lemm.ee 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I like how he is trying to describe masculinity, being a person who wears on makeup for his/her/them job.

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[–] snekerpimp@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

“I saw Tim Walz sneeze. What kind of man does that?”

[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago

This is from that shitty movie with Ryan Gosling, right? Where he tells Steve Carrell not to use a straw because it's like sucking a cock or something.

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

i am sorry to report that i tried to click the play button

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[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

fellas, is it gay to drink from a straw?

fellas, is it gay to consume ice cream with a spoon?

fellas, is it gay to consume ice cream with your bare hands?

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[–] Zink@programming.dev 13 points 2 months ago

There are so many ways to respond to this stupidity, but I think it boils down to not celebrating being an asshole.

Being an asshole is not manly.

Being an asshole is not strong.

Being an asshole is not being a leader.

Hating everything and everyone does not mean you have elite tastes and are above it all.

And going back to manliness, such concern over it and the superficial “virtue” signaling of it with drinks, clothes, trucks, and tacticool punisher skull caliber stuff is the least manly shit I can imagine. How can you even take yourself seriously when you’re a fragile walking cliche?

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I hate the whole x is manly/masculine crap.

Most of the time it's just glorifying highschool jock behavior. Some stereotype of an alpha chad with their "masculinity" dialed up to toxic.

I'm a dude and you know what I think is manly/masculine? Being a good person, paying bills, working and earning money for your family, being a good parent to your kids, taking responsibility when you make a mistake and trying to fix it, respecting people property, boundaries, rights, and freedoms. Generally being helpful, productive, and kind.

Otherwise known as being a productive member of society.

You can be deficient in some of these areas too, like earning money to support your family, maybe your spouse is the breadwinner and you're the stay-at-home parent. That's good too. If you don't have offspring, then we can waive the parenting stuff. Etc.

And these things don't just apply to men, they can all be applied to women too, because being manly to me, is more about being a good human.

Anyone pushing a different narrative, to me, is someone pushing for people to be garbage.

I don't care what you have between your legs, or whether you have kids or not, or whether those kids are your biological offspring or not. I don't care what color you are, where you come from, who you love, what your job is, how much you make, what diplomas or degrees you have, or what God you may, or may not believe in.

Be kind to eachother. Support your friends and family. Be a productive member of society. Be a good human.

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