Today's the third anniversary of my dad's death. It's still so hard.
this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2024
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How are we already in the second half of February? Has this month absolutely flown by for anyone else?
Busy week coming up, but mostly with events and activities that I’m looking forward to. Hope everyone has a good week!
It has for me. Had a weird start to the year which perhaps explains it, but last year hurtled past, and am still surprised we're in the 2020s.
What kind of stuff do you have planned for the week?
Having a night to meet up with some friends, got a day planned for volunteering at a local non-profit, and finally getting to dive into The Expanse book series, among all the day-to-day stuff!
It has for me. I'm honestly happy about it because every day last month felt like a lifetime.
On my way to a job interview that I'm really looking forward to. Got another less exciting one lined up afterwards. My current place is visibly going under, and I don't plan to stick around for it.
Update: Definitely got the first job, probably got the second one, dropped a few other resumes while I'm all dressed up. Groundhog didn't see his shadow and it's a beautiful spring day to walk around Chicago.
Congrats on the job(s)!
Great job, congrats! And a second "great job" for being front of mind to drop additional resumes while looking snazzy!
Congratulations!! May you get to pick which ever job you prefer!
Fantastic news.
Not a great start, been sick with the worst sore throat of my life for the past few days. Took a look at my tongue today and saw white spotting, so decided to go in to get it checked. Rapid strep negative but all the clinical indicators so I'm on antibiotics while the await the throat culture. This sickness has been kicking my ass. Hoping it'll get resolved soon 🤞
Ouch.
Hope you are managing to get enough nutrients into yourself whilst things are so bad.
The better quality protein shakes taste nasty, but some brands have juice-based versions which can be easier to keep down.
Oof, sorry to hear. Being sick is never great, but sore throats are definitely up there with the worst. Here's hoping the meds quickly do their thing and you start feeling better!
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JESYS FUCK IT'S BEEN 3 FUCKING DAYS AND IT FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS.
You might remember me posting a while ago about breaking up with my wife. That week does not even COMPARE to this week. I can't mention a lot of it without a lot of people getting very angry, but maybe being angry would be an improvement over how things are now.
Got drunk tonight because everyone thought the drama was over, and we wanted to wind down. Turns out no, it was not over, and we got smacked with all of it at once AND MORE while drunk and of course, dealt with it like drunk idiots and made it worse.
So now it's 6am. I haven't slept. I won't be sleeping. I feel like I'm gonna vomit. I gotta try not to make people angry tomorrow, people gotta try not to make me angry tomorrow. Nobody will succeed.
What sucks is there's a bunch of amazing stuff that happened tonight, too, but it was more than ruined by drunk idiots like me handling drama. Jesus I want it to be over so I can just appreciate all the good stuff that came out of this, but that's gonna take a lot longer than just this week.
EDIT: good news guys. I'm 36 minutes more sober and things already don't feel that bad anymore. They were that bad, but now they don't feel like it.
Edit: It's the next day. It was surprisingly easy to smooth things over. Apparently the drunk stupidity ended up being a good thing somehow because it let everyone get everything out, zero filter, and now that everyone's sober we were able to properly address things and things are actually dramatically improving now.
The short version is there were still some complicated feelings left after my breakup, and somebody close to me came out as trans right in the middle of it, so balancing trying to support them and trying to manage those leftover feelings fucked me and everyone else up bad. Now, it seems though that those feelings are finally getting left in the past, and I can fully focus on supporting them.
There's was also a short drunken probably undiagnosed bpd induced, definitely alcohol induced episode where I accused said trans person of lying about being trans with zero evidence, but luckily they're an incredibly strong person and weren't even phased by it, knowing I was drunk and also mentally ill, and instead choosing to gush over how pretty I said they were and how I'd told them I was super happy to know they trusted me, when I was less drunk. I've spent a part of this morning apologizing profusely for my behavior when I got clearly far too many drinks in.
the foster ~~dog~~ fail got the go-ahead from the vet to do agility, so ~~coco~~ echo is here to stay! i took her to a 30-minute agility lesson on friday, and she learned jump, tire, tunnel, dog walk, and A-frame. yesterday, she started working on the teeter and is so enthusiastic about learning new things.
one of my goals this year was to not get another dog, but sometimes the right dog comes along and... yeah. i think my partner will be happy to have a break from fostering, since that's always a bit of a gamble. three is the maximum i can care for, so it'll be awhile before i foster again. i still need to get the paperwork together (and write the check), but once that's done she'll officially be part of the family. <3
Yay, what a great update to the story. She's gorgeous, and well bonded to you already. Happy times!
Getting ready to go to my annual eye exam. My eye pressure is high enough that it needs annual monitoring, though I'm hoping to still be in the range where it's not something I'll need to manage with medication.
We replaced our couch over the weekend; it was a hand me down from my mother in law that wasn't really all that comfortable for our body shapes. The new one is much kinder to our backs, matches the dining furniture, and has a storage bay built into it to help with the floor space. The pup made a stink about losing his recliner that matches the old couch, mean mugging us until we brought his couch from the office out so he could still sit and watch nature tv. The cat took it immediately, but decided to share after a while.
Yes... eye pressure... me too. I have to go in periodically for an OCT and field. Hoping same. Best of luck.
You have my sympathy, friend. Hopefully your next appointment goes as well as mine did - not only is the pressure the lowest measured since starting my annuals, but my nearsightedness improved and my prescription doesn't need to be as strong! Don't get me wrong, they'd still be "coke bottle" lenses if it weren't for high index polycarbonate, but it's still a win in my book.
Actually my last visit last year had pretty good eye pressure. Hoping it is a trend not an anomaly. Just annoying, time consuming, and expensive to have to track as closely. Plus when your border line for maybe 5 years you wonder when things might get worse.
Edit: My vision has been improving with age too for awhile now at least in terms of optical power.
Because of the monitoring nature of the exams, I'm able to submit the exam cost to my health insurance to cover what vision insurance doesn't. This might be something you're able to do as well to help defray some of the associated costs.
And here's hoping lower pressure is a trend for both of us going forward!
Yay for comfier relaxation time, though I feel your pup is still glowering, even though you organised something suitable for ~~you~~ him. Probably just because you have the camera out, but am having fun with a little story about him ensuring his humans don't try rearranging things without his permission in future.
All the best with the eye checkup!
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Well I got into beehaw and I'm having a reddit-like experience for the first time in a year, but this time more wholesome
Super excited for tomorrow, gonna lose my virginity to that really nice and fun chef girl. She's coming over to my place for a good few hours.
Oooh, this is exciting. Has been so lovely to hear all your updates about how things are going for you & this latest girl.
Have a beautiful time!
It went pretty well, we didn't end up having PIV sex in the end (but we did some other non PIV stuff which was very fun still) since my body was way more nervous than I mentally was, I just couldn't keep it up as a result. Thankfully the girl is a saint and totally understands and is happy to see me again twice next week :).
Sounds kind of like my first time a couple years ago. Sex can be a great way to bond with awesome people even if it's only for a night. I cant say I know your life, but if you take each experience as a bonding opportunity, you'll have a fulfilling experience I tbink.
That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working out so far.
Fourth date with the chef girl went very well all this considered, we ended up having sex (non PIV since I was very physically but not mentally anxious annoyingly as I just couldn't keep it up despite really wanting to and not feeling anxious at all mentally) which was amazing and she spent basically 5 or 6 hours at my place cuddling naked and doing stuff, then watched the bo burnham special 'Inside' which she is a big fan of. Quite good for my first musical.
Thankfully the girl is very understanding about the performance issues since it was my very first time doing anything like this and she is happy to see me agan twice next week :). She is so lovely.
I'm out of town to help my parents move. Oh my god, my mom has so much shit. Especially kitchen stuff. Yes, she cooks (and cooks very well), but it's not like she's a passionate chef or baker who's always cooking in her freetime, as like a hobby. Nor is she cooking to feed a family of 5. No, it's just her and my dad, and my younger brother (who's only just living at home temporarily again). My dad doesn't have nearly as much stuff.
It's boomer-level conspicuous consumption at it's worst.
On the plus side, it's my birthday today (as of this post). 37yo. What a weird age to be. It feels like no-man's land. Gonna fly to San Diego for a few days to celebrate and enjoy. Off the rest of the week to do that. Rarely do the whole "birthday week" thing, but I needed a vacation.
Sounds like my parents' kitchen. It used to be somewhat sensible, and my mother doesn't have much interest in buying stuff for it, but my father will just appear with things for her.
She's finally got him to ease off a lot lately, but he'll still try to persuade her to let him order things she doesn't need or want.
Happy Birthday vacationing!!
Thanks!
Like I get having a house and wanting/needing to fill it. Or seeing something that you've always wanted and buying it, even if you don't need it (for me, it's games on Steam). But this is ridiculous. It took 4 trips with moving trucks (a 26' [7.9m] and 15' [4.5m]), plus numerous trips with their SUV. Hopefully my parents, especially my mom, will start going through it all and either getting rid of old stuff or consolidating. They have at least one more move once they buy their "final house" -- god, that sounds morbid -- but I said if they have the same amount of stuff or more, that I won't help. It's just too much to move.
Though it's an empty threat: I'll still help them move 😒
I'm okay. I was super tired toward the end of last week, to the point where I ate PTO on Friday just so I could go home and sleep. This week is whatever. I'm starting voice training which I'm super nervous about, and other than that it's the same as always. I didn't even get an extended weekend because I don't work Mondays. 🥹
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Counting the victories
Cheering you on anyhow, but want to tell us about any of them?
Sure. Today I was feeling absolutely terrible. I canceled a visit with this girl I'm interested in this morning. I was simply feeling overwhelmed and I didn't want her to see the state of my apartment.
So here's the victory. I deleted that message, and told her I was looking forward to it. I cooked something tasty for myself. Then I got my arse into high gear and took all day to do chores.
At the end of the afternoon I walked to the shop and bought some fancy fresh ingredients. At home I played a game for 30 mins and when she arrived I cooked. She loved it. Aaand she bought me flowers!
And now I'm sitting here with a =)
Squee. This is one amazing turnaround!
My brother is home for reading week and we've been playing board games a lot! In other news, going to see a documentary in a theatre today. It's called Your Fat Friend and it's soemthing I've been looking forward to for a while
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I'm tired.
Stuff like this makes me feel it would be cool to organise a local "stuff club", where people would bring things for others to try out.
That alone isn't going to motivate many to bother, but there could be a sell/exchange/donate facility, in lieu of using eBay or Freecycle, and so less stuff ends up in drawers unused.
Guess it could hook in with local Makerspaces, tool libraries such as Men's Sheds, or even regular libraries. If in alliance with Makerspaces, repair & modification sessions would be a cool extension.
Ostensibly harder in smaller towns & in rural areas, but with less access to lots of physical stores, perhaps more demand for it?
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Sorry to hear about you sanitary sewer issues. They are the worst. Never had much issues myself until I moved in with my wife. Before then I lived in mostly newer and pretty well maintained apartment buildings.
Since then it is always something. Every few years. Squirrel dropping a walnut in our stack. Roots in house main line. Long term buildup in various lines that need to be cleared. One bathroom toilet just not flushing that well... I think by design. Now a stinky sink drain.
I sometimes wonder if all this low flow stuff makes things worse.
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I'm sorry to hear about your plumbing troubles! I hope you've made some progress since then.
It's been rough over here. I've been at my job four years and I'm making as much as the new hires. I have a hunch they'll raise my rent in September so I really want to go to tech school and get out of retail, but finding anyone in my area who will treat ADHD is hard. Knowing my past, I think it'll be a huge waste if I enroll without getting medicated first.
The sun is coming out though, and I saw a Pink Floyd tribute show which was really fun. Good things will still pop up even if things get harder.
"Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're" checks notes "Drinking really nice scotch!"
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