vegan

Locking this thread for now, because there seems to be some omni-trolling happening and I'll be heading to sleep rather than patrolling this thread. Please read the "What is Veganism?" part of the sidebar before commenting, thanks!

I (or someone else) will unlock it when all the comments have been moderated and when people stop trolling. Seriously, this is a vegan community not a plant based diet one.

Edit: Unlocked. Please don't conflate vegan and plant based and remember that veganism is NOT a diet!

Is being vegan a moral thing? Most that I've heard say yes.

This means that regardless of outward harassing them about it, your mindset is one in which they are doing something immoral and do not care to change it. It is inseparable: the position that it is morally correct to be vegan is inseparable from the corollary that those who are not are less moral.

Knowing that your romantic partner judges you as a bad person does not really make for a positive relationship, I would say. I doubt I would be willing to date someone who holds that position.

Short answer: no

Longer answer: probably some people

I know many vegetarians and I've met a single other vegan, all of which found a partner just as easy, or hard perhaps, as anyone else I know.

I, myself, kinda cheated and turned vegan after finding my current girlfriend. So I cannot report directly on this.

@Robustic this is MY experience as a vegan for +8y. I dated a non-vegan girl for several months, and was an issue to me in terms of long term expectations as a couple. Veganism is a philosophy that excludes as far as possible and practicable all kind of animal exploitation. This is one of the main ideological topics for me, like racism, feminism, religion, institutional politics….
My current girlfriend is vegan (has been for more than 5 years), we have a lot in common and everything is great 😊.

Frankly, this is not a question for the Internet - it is a question for you.

You can certainly find someone to try have a relationship with.

But: What do you think about non-vegans? Do you see yourself unreservedly loving someone who eats meat, even though you (presumably) think it's morally wrong?

Because that will definitely leak into your relationship as a whole.

The primary concerns would be the fear of being preached to or derided, and substantial difficulty with meals.

No one wants to be called a murderer, especially by their romantic partner. Not that you would do that personally, but that's the image "vegan" brings to mind.

Meals are a significant part of any relationship: going out, cooking for each other, family dinners, etc. Dating a vegan makes all those things more complicated for omnivores.

Not to say it's a foregone conclusion, but past experiences with vegans may very well make non-vegans reluctant to date one.

As with any large life-style decision you'll find it reduces the dating pool (and generally for good reason). Would you really want to spend your life with someone that spends free days smoking brisket or roasting ribs or generally preparing meals like that? To someone without dietary constraints (self imposed or otherwise) I'm sure that sounds heavenly, but if I were vegan in the situation (or vice versa tbh) I know I just wouldn't desire the daily friction. Life should be as fluid as possible and there are plenty of lifestyle compatible people out there looking for companionship.

I did and it wasn't a problem, it wasn't a problem because she didn't care that I wasn't. She never tried to make me be a vegan and I never tried to dismiss that part of her. We were perfectly happy to not make that a thing of concern. Though I think if either party tried to make the other one change it would blow up fast.

It would only work if you were willing to accept them as not a vegan. If you can't it wouldn't work.

I prefer to not talk about the direct topic of veganism on the first dates (unless I have to). Most people don't know what's veganism and are even scared of the word.

I'd rather know the person first and see if our values align with other questions, like: 'do you think animals feel pain?' or 'what do you think about factory farming?'.

But I gotta tell you, dating vegans is probably much easier. It will be easier to get a consensus on where to go for dinner, it will be easier to go shopping and you won't get invited to watch dog fighting and these kinds of stuff omnis do.

I feel that veganism is a value-based belief system. This means that even different vegans may interpret the restrictions differently.

The question is whether you will expect this person to convert and if you can live with their usage of animal products.

I grew up with a sister who is vegan and I would definitely think twice before dating one. I’ve come to believe that shared meals are a huge part of human culture and if I can’t eat with my partner without there being some kind of tension about it I don’t see how it could work out.

The key is acceptance. I'm willing to accept my partner if they are vegan, can the accept me as a non vegetarian?

I recommend Melanie Joy’s book Beyond Beliefs which about relationships and communication between vegans and non-vegans.

When I met my wife I was vegetarian and she was an omnivore. Now I eat vegan she’s a vegetarian. It has not been a relationship problem.

I couldn't date a vegan. Eating and eating out is just such an enjoyable part of life for me and my family. The restrictions of a vegan diet would just make life so difficult to share life with. My wife and I enjoy much of the same food together and sharing something you enjoy with someone you love is what makes relationships so fun.

and maybe I could influence people positively

I as a vegaterian who rarely eats non-vegan stuff never try to convert others. I only correct them if they say wrong stuff but also try not to influence them. I think that every human who just watched one animals feel pain in any way should have gotten that being vegan is a no-brainer.

Do non-vegans really refuse to date vegans?

It's intesting to me to put this that way. Usually I think of things from my own perspective, not from others. I couldn't be with someone who isn't vegetarian.

My wife is vegetarian and I am not. It's not really an issue. Vegan would be quite a bit more difficult to accommodate as I'd have to cut out dairy and honey from meals I cook which both make regular appearances in dishes. Still, as long as you're not annoying about it and are also understanding about the fact that many potential partners won't know how to cook for you I don't see why it would be a deal breaker.

Side note while we're on the subject, what's with the restriction on honey? The rest of it I understand the reasoning behind but honey seems like a harmless thing to me.