This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Always keep a couple crackheads. Also, make sure you filter your crackheads. You want the ones who'll help you clean your garage for $10, not the ones who will clean out your garage for about $10 down at the pawn shop.
Promote a positive environment, help turn the crackden into a crackhome.
You joke, but the crackhead hooker next door to me in Chicago would clean my place, top to bottom, for a 20 spot. Wouldn't dare steal anything because I was good money for a regular rock.
I've known a few like that. Why I joke about it. I knew a guy, if he could have kept his shit together, he coulda had his own damn shop. Dude could fix about anything mechanical, get it done quicker than some of the shops around the place.
Saw plenty of 'em working in construction, too. Keep it together long enough to make some decent cash, disappear for awhile, come back when they needed more. You got used to rotating faces, got to know which ones would try to screw you over. Too many times you'd see one come up alone and find out the buddies they had didn't make it through the last.
That's the thing about addicts. They're still people. Some get into a bad situation and know better than to fuck up the few good opportunities they'll get. Many will fuck themselves over for easy and quick gains. The latter group is why my wife would kill me if I hired an addict prostitute to clean our home.
I had smack and crack habits off and on for almost twenty years. Never stole anything (aside from occasionally shoplifted food). I always worked and paid for my shit. However there are an awful lot of people out there who use their habits to justify shitty behaviour, so yeah, I'd err on the side of caution.
You want the ones who’ll help you clean your garage for $10, not the ones who will clean out your garage for about $10 down at the pawn shop.
This guy knows his junkies.
There's a slight but very crucial difference.
rent has gone up 40% because the crackheads are now moving in
You have never lived in a Crack friendly neighborhood.
You just have to control the rent by buying a gun and shooting in the air every other day.
Then someone will steer their drone next to you, yelling "We have been monitoring you. Disperse immediately!"
Just shoot the drone.
that's such a good tip. you should tell the russians
Shh lmao shhh no don't tell em
when I was in the army we were taught roughly how to shoot at a helicopter, but generally the idea was "you have a rifle (not a shotgun), you're not gonna hit a very fast flying thing, but here's ROUGHLY how much to anticipate with it if you have to try".
If we're not talking about long-range drones which fly at proper altitudes, and instead something one could even viably shoot at, then we're talking like 1000 smaller than a helicopter, but with similar speeds. Like the size of the armament on those drones is usually bigger than the drone itself.
I'm fine with us telling Russians to shoot at them, they're just gonna be wasting their (already waning) munition.
Please use blanks and ear protection for safety.
Gotta fire some rent control rounds into the air.... it's all about #balance
If you're going to do this, use blanks or shotgun with birdshot. That way you're not raining lead on some unsuspecting person a mile or so away and birdshot is just small bbs that don't have a high terminal velocity.
Now get a recording of a couple different gunshots and repeat the process. Problem solved!
Recording?! What is this, amateur hour?
just renewed my rent. It went up 30%
Flies a drone above anon
Drone speaker: "Womp womp"
That's why you befriend them instead of scaring them away.
Until the fact that you befriended them gets you fired because it scares your coworkers.
Or gets you robbed
I lived in a run down part of town a few houses down from a crack/coke distributor in college and once a friend locked himself out of the car. Before we could even panic someone popped out with a hanger and opened it in like 30 seconds. Crisis averted!
Also got pulled over on my own street regularly though (“you looked nervous”) and my dad almost got arrested when he was dropping off plants (cacti and flowers).
"You look nervous"
"Bruh I am nervous, all the time, everywhere."
It’s because you pulled me over my guy
There are some radical left-wing neighborhoods in Germany, that try to keep rents low by shooting into the air with blank firearms
Fuck! That drone was just some chump? I'm telling the boys we got the block back!!
No good deed goes unpunished
This whole comment section is nuts. Who knew a green text about drones and crackheads could set off such vitriol filled discussions about gendered language, homelessness, and whether human dignity can be measured in dollars?
This one's for every friend who got taken off the streets
So the upper class could sleep, so the upper class could sleep
I'll miss the spraypaint and slashed tires.
-Pat "the Bunny" Schneeweis