this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
274 points (97.2% liked)

me irl

455 readers
402 users here now

It is required that all that you post is you irl All posts must be titled "meirl", "me irl", or "me_irl". One or two Emojis between "me" and "irl" is ok

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 42 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Realitaetsverlust@lemmy.zip 4 points 20 minutes ago

Pretty sure would smile a lot more if they received more positive attention ngl.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 8 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You look cute! - nice

You should smile more. - wtf

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 37 minutes ago

Tbh she's probably right, I have resting bitch face at best or maybe smol depression at worst lol, it would probably help me develop new interpersonal relationships now that all my friends are dead (mostly OD) or moved (because they didn't want to OD.)

REAL FUN being the only person you know who avoided heroin/fent!

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 30 points 2 hours ago

It was pretty funny when women thought "how would you feel if" would work in this case. They clearly didn't know how starved of positive attention men are.

[–] lukstru@lemmy.world 12 points 2 hours ago
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 12 points 2 hours ago

I'd just look around to see who else is in on the joke

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 29 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

A lady told me I have nice eyes once. That was 20+ years ago and I’ve never forgotten that shit.

[–] TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world 2 points 45 minutes ago

I had the same thing happen while I was working as a cashier. Turns out she was actually scamming me, they used footage of it happening to train new people.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Same. She just kept staring into my eyes. In fact I think I was told the same thing by 3 different girls.

[–] juli@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Same. I was at an eye hospital and they wouldn't stop staring.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 48 points 5 hours ago
[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 7 points 3 hours ago

Old ladies at my first job would tell this to Male interns all the time.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

No it's just as infuriating and it's always been one of the complaints women bring up that I always remind them is not just a women problem.

Rbf can seriously negatively impact your life. Especially if you're already physically imposing.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 9 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I searched what's rbf and lmao at the result

Imagine being used as the example photo for resting bitch face

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Mines even worse than that. To quote an old coworker "He looks like he's about to stab everyone in the room all the time"

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

?? I think I misunderstood your comment, did you said that its not cool to be cat called as a man?

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

I'm specifically referring to the phrase "you should smile more" not cat calling in general.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 60 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (3 children)

I've endured the male equivalent of this my whole life.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"You look angry."

"This is just my face!"

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

Ahhh my gf keeps asking me if I'm fine. I guess I just have a resting sad face or something.

[–] plzExplainNdetail 13 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

That's not really a male thing, nor is your example an equivalent. All sexes can get the angry face comment because people misinterpret others expressions wrong all the time. Not everyone is lucky enough to have resting beauty face. Heck just yesterday I was literally told by a nationally renowned dentist that my "small polite smile" would in fact labelled a grimace.. oof.

There is usually a sexual connotation in being told to smile (to look prettier to the viewers), while being asked if something is wrong generally doesn't have the same sexual undertones/motivations. The equivalent to the post would literally be a woman getting catcalled/told to smile and them thinking about escape routes. The difference in the gender swap is when the guy hears the smile comment they move on thinking about smiling (as shown by your comment), while the lady hears the smile comment and wonders if she's in an unsafe situation that could possibly end their life.

Don't get me wrong, both situations are awkward and uncomfortable to be in/navigate. Both put the onus the person hearing it to engage their defenses as to dispell/appease the accusations. And while both deal with fear, it really is just the power dynamics and inherent sexual nature that makes for entirely different interactions/outcomes.

(I say woman/man but the scenario still stands when women= any person smaller or weaker and man= any person with an inherent power/advantage over another. So if a big guy did the same to a weaker guy, the scene plays out the same as a powerful lady and the frail lady, or a strong lady and smaller guy.)

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 2 hours ago

Here we go, someone mentions how an issue affects men and it's instantly shut down with "well women have it worse".

[–] Nythos@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago

I get it at least once a week when at work.

[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

It's about it happening to you once every 10 years or once an hour.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Getting complimented once every ten years sounds awesome. It’s hard to even imagine once an hour

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 49 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

Once an hour sounds awesome but I suppose a person dying of thirst would think that a person drowning was having a great time.

I have never had a woman hit on me, but a gay man did once and the memory of that warms my heart. (I'm not gay.)

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 1 points 3 hours ago

person dying of thirst would think that a person drowning was having a great time.

This happens in Dune. Paul explains the concept of swimming to his gf and she says he's making stuff up.

[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 11 points 9 hours ago

But does your now husband know?

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 10 hours ago

This post is discussing flirts per hour

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (2 children)

If this happened once instead of constantly

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

You talk about women right ? Because as a man I would love that it would happen all the time to me

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

you're assuming that because you don't have to live with the reality.

add in the constant awareness that most rapists occur by men against women and most men are stronger than women.

you wouldn't like theae solicitations or straight up molestation and assaults if you were constantly in danger of being raped and being reminded that men found you attractive or available.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 32 minutes ago

Been raped twice by two different women, I'd still be fine with it. If I let my experiences with women (that + 3 serious relationships ended in them cheating) cloud my judgement of the entire gender I'd be an "incel," so I don't, I give each individual a fair shake because my past trauma isn't their fault.

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

What are you talking about, I said that I as a man would love to be cat called not that I would love that as a woman . I never receive compliment and I can assure you that I would love to be cat called.I don't say that what you said is false (it s not), just that its not what I was talking about.

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago (2 children)
[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

They dix not talk about the dame thing than you , they dont talk about the dame situation than the même. That s why its confusing

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 11 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

constantly, really:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rvq9krecA8g

and men don't start cat calling women after they reach what is thought of as an "appropriate" age to harass someone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4DCYYs4ECE

[–] HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 hours ago

The single most important benefit of getting to be an old woman is I don't have to deal with this shit anymore.

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world -2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Do you have any actual studies on this rather than YouTube videos? You know, the ones that show you raw unobscured data? Because I can take a camera to the main plaza, ask 100 women if they ever had insert experience till 3 out of a 100 say yes, interview them, cut it together, and make it seem like its happening to every single one of them. Data obscuration is the easiest way to manipulate outcomes of studies.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

yep, this case study records about 10 cat calls per hour:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9900418/

also, what do you have against video evidence?

they studied the YouTube comments, most of which dismissed or defended the harassment, as you are doing.

there are many studies and videos about common, everyday open harassment and assault against women.

you should try talking to some of the women in your life.

ask them what it's like for men to make solicitations end comments about their appearance in public and how often it happens.

then ask how old they were when they first harassed or molested.

your assumptions and implications from your comment show that you have no experience here; these talks will be enlightening for you.