this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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It all started with a tweet about a couch. Within hours of Donald Trump announcing the Ohio senator JD Vance as his running mate in the presidential race, a rather lurid accusation cropped up on social media.

The user of a since-deleted X account wrote last month, “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).”

The fake page citation from Vance’s bestselling memoir Hillbilly Elegy lent credibility to what turned out to be a baseless claim, as detailed in a now-removed fact check from the Associated Press. Soon, the internet was awash in memes mocking Vance’s relationship with various pieces of furniture. “I did not have sectional relations,” one X user joked, paraphrasing Bill Clinton’s infamous quote about his extramarital affair. Another user added: “Who hasn’t been excited by the thrill of the chaise?”

Even Kamala Harris’s newly launched presidential campaign appeared to get in on the fun, tweeting: “JD Vance does not couch his hatred for women.”

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[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 165 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Nothing would be funnier if the Internet destroyed Vance's career over a shit post.

The piece of shit known as JD Vance deserves it.

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 101 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you can be destroyed by an internet meme then your career must've been sofa king bad

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

I settee what you did there. And so does JD Vance.

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[–] Guy_Fieris_Hair@lemmy.world 58 points 3 months ago

They literally have built their entire careers on baseless claims that even their followers know are BS, they just chose to believe because they just want to echo their hatred. All of their shit is baseless and they scream it from the rooftops until it sticks. It's just a shit post in a different form. Their entire campaign is a baseless shitpost.

So fuck it, JD Vance fucks couches and it's fucking WIERD. Let it destroy him. Finally we are fighting fire with fire.

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 38 points 3 months ago

I just watched John Oliver destroy it again.

Vance's campaign did not deny, on 3 separate occasions, that JD Vance has fucked a couch.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 27 points 3 months ago

Live by the meme, die by the meme.

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[–] expr@programming.dev 88 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Wait so the couch fucking thing was bullshit? It's just so... specific. Talk about an impressive shitpost.

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 64 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean, we can't definitively say it didn't happen.

[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 44 points 3 months ago

That is almost certainly why the AP fact check was taken down. While it was true that the alleged passage was not in the book as claimed, there is no proof that Vance did not fuck a piece of furniture.

[–] warbond@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We can only really say for sure that he didn't write about it in his book. But have we checked everything he ever wrote?

[–] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Has he ever specifically stated that he has not had sectional relations?

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[–] Kolrami@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It was always bs, but people on the Internet like spreading lies. I saw some politician go on MSNBC and she brought it up too. It's embarrassing if she believed it and spread it.

[–] EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 17 points 3 months ago

It's only proper: Faux had been hyping 'immigrant crime' and every Trump positive, Biden negative bullshit they can. Spreading bullshit & lies? Republican marching orders. Pogram against Democracy. Putin smiles.

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[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 17 points 3 months ago

Yeah. Some random dude tweeted it and it got passed around. The original tweet was deleted because they realized it was getting taken seriously.

[–] Dramaking37@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Wait until you find the dolphin thing

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

The account posted the Arthur go in the Internet and tell lies meme like 10 minutes after, but the Internet had a meme, and the Internet wanted to keep that meme.

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[–] protist@mander.xyz 69 points 3 months ago (4 children)

If Trump kicks Vance off the ticket, I'd be interested to see who at this point would be willing to throw in with him. You have to think that list is even shorter now than it was a month ago

[–] lettruthout@lemmy.world 55 points 3 months ago (12 children)

Yeah, dropping this VP after a such a short time, and trying to have his previous one killed, makes you wonder who would want the job.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ted Cruz? He seems enough like Grima Wormtongue to do it.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 26 points 3 months ago

Ted Cruz would do it, he's spineless enough to do anything Trump wanted him to do.

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[–] athairmor@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There’s plenty of crazy for him to pick from. Vance was probably the least crazy of the crazy.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

He still has time to go with the puppy murderer.

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 35 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Beyond anything else, I think we can agree that's a heck of a headline. British press style is extremely annoying, but every now and then something clicks and makes you wonder if it's all worthy (it isn't).

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[–] Jarmer 35 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I'm from central KY and my wife's from Appalachia. I think the entire region would have a massive week long party titled "FUCK JD VANCE FOREVER" if this happened. He's one of the most hated people around here. You even bring up his name and you can see people's heart rates and fury and anger go up even before the ranting begins.

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[–] vegeta@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

He just did an interview with Oprah this weekend

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Oprah's expression is one that says, "oh god. No. Not this couch too!"

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 28 points 3 months ago (4 children)

The couch thing might be fiction, but he really did google dolphin porn (who cares about his purported reason).

[–] warbond@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Lmao, what context did they provide for the dolphin porn search? I mean, I know why I do it, I just wondered what reason they gave.

[–] ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Supposedly, he only did it to show people how depraved the internet is.

[–] barsquid@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

Like all the Qanons trying to get ahold of CSAM for "research."

[–] Evilcoleslaw@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

He reposted it saying "the Internet was a mistake", probably trying to pass it off as something that just came up when he was scrolling. Think, right wingers ranting about the immorality of big tech, etc. But the screenshot shows he searched for it.

[–] brianary@startrek.website 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget the burned monkey testacles

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Trump has no problem dropping people when they aren't doing him any favors. He sure did as president. I wouldn't be shocked if he dropped Vance... but I also don't think it will help him if he does it no matter who else he picks.

[–] Quill7513 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Yeah. Now that we know we can hurt them this bad with the "I don't have to take this from someone who sucks toes" strat

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[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 23 points 3 months ago (4 children)

How the actual fuck am I being served an ad for a couch in this thread!?

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

Given how much press the sofa is taking, I would not be surprised if Trump ditches Vance for the sofa.

[–] brianary@startrek.website 19 points 3 months ago

Give it time. Soon enough he'll hire a reputation management company, shave his beard, show up for Dancing on the Stars, then SNL will put him in a sketch as Waluigi.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

He can go to the same bottomless pit fat orange is headed for

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

I have been waiting for sofa king jokes and i must be hanging around the wrong parts of the Internet. They're definitely out there right?

Edit you guys are awesome thanks for being the change i needed to see.

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[–] numlok@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

“You can have a vice-president that is outstanding in every way, and I think JD is, I think all of them would have been, but you’re not voting that way. You’re voting for the president. You’re voting for me.”

As the oldest presidential candidate in American history, I think it's entirely reasonable to consider the non-trivial chance that his second may need to step in at some point.

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[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This would be a perfect thing for Tucker Carlson to just ask questions about. If he wasn’t a huge piece of shit

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[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't think you can really blame the sofa for being bad at sex. It is an inanimate object.

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 11 points 3 months ago

Doesn't that mean the sofa also can't give consent?

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