this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 277 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Depends on if you're a tits or an ass guy, I guess?

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 50 points 4 months ago

Pack it in guys this is the comment.

[–] majestictechie@lemmy.fosshost.com 119 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I don't remember this scene in Shrek

[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

That's because it was part of a scrapped movie in the franchise. It wad going to be called Shrek's choice with Shrek being played by Meryl Streep

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

It was the rule 34 version.

[–] Liz@midwest.social 62 points 4 months ago (20 children)

A donkey is ill-equipped to give even a passable blowjob.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 41 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's a speaking donkey so don't assume standard donkey laryngeal and//or oral anatomy

[–] MewtwoLikesMemes@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Hehe you said "oral".

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[–] Norgur@fedia.io 59 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (7 children)

That's more like a gamified Rorschach test. If you need sexual rewards to decide whether you should save a human life instead of the life of unprocessed salami, you are a psychopath.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 101 points 4 months ago

But this "unprocessed salami" can speak. Kinda puts them on level playing field.
Unless, of course, salami is voiced by Eddie Murphy, in which case it's an easy pick.

[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 54 points 4 months ago (1 children)

But the unprocessed Salami will suck my dick. So

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 37 points 4 months ago (1 children)

But the human will let you suck her dick. So

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but I've already done that. So

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

I learned I'm not into that. So

[–] Jimbo@yiffit.net 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] tourist@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago (5 children)

sometimes meat companies do a pro gamer move and turn dead donkeys into extra profit

rascals

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[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You might be taking the internet too seriously

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[–] growingentropy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 4 months ago

I have yet to meet the random animal that I dislike more than the average human.

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[–] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 48 points 4 months ago (12 children)

Saving the woman sounds like a huge W. This is the easiest choice of my life, what are you on about?

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[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 38 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can I save both but reject both offers? Because I can see value in them as very unique individuals but I'm not really into mules or women with bigger dicks than me.

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Who says their dick is bigger? Maybe they have a smaller dick... would you be into it then?

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 22 points 4 months ago (5 children)

You can just tell, trust me. Professional dick predictor and gait reader, worked in physical rehabilitation for years. I can also smell thyroid disease.

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[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 36 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Help them save each other, watch the donkey suck her off.

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[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 33 points 4 months ago

The Shrek paradox

[–] deezbutts@lemm.ee 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Let me see the human from the back

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[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What if I save her and we go for a coffee or something?

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 15 points 4 months ago

Donkeys don't drink coffee.

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Ace people: Guess you'll die then...

[–] Emerald@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean I'm sure some ace people like to engage in sexual activity. Sexual attraction and libido are different.

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[–] fah_Q@lemmy.ca 21 points 4 months ago

I mean it's not every day I meet a talking donkey. So

[–] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 19 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I'll never understand why low res images like this always have half the text cropped off. I get why it's done when they're conveniently censoring something, but...ugh. :(

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Making bad crops is part of the post-ironic meme meta

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 4 months ago

it's the visual equivalent of comedically cut videos

[–] chaotic_altruist@lemm.ee 9 points 4 months ago

They're cropping out watermarks. Better to just leave it in but oh well

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[–] Klnsfw@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Making a link between zoophilia and sexual relationships with a queer person, how original!

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[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I'm a degenerate, I WANT BOTH

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[–] don@lemm.ee 10 points 4 months ago

Drink more, then wake up with a nasty hangover, and think about how you should’ve hydrated while drinking.

Water is the universal solvent.

[–] s_s@lemmy.one 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

\3. Ride the Shai-Hulud to destiny.

is this the spiritual successor to the bear man thing?

[–] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 4 months ago (5 children)
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[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 months ago

Ehhhh I'll save the donkey, use it to pull out the woman, and then no sexual favors will happen. They're both gonna be carrying some shit though, free labor.

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