this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2024
708 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26801 readers
3143 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] yiliu@informis.land 77 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Hi Tom,

I was just taking a look at your resume, and your experience at Deceased really caught my eye! I'm especially interested in your knowledge of being missed by friends and family. Did you know that complications from heart surgery is in high demand right now?

I'm a head hunter looking for dynamic individuals who are interested in positions at an exciting new startup, and I think you'd be a perfect fit!

I hope we get a chance to chat soon!

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 months ago

Turns out to be an insurance phone salesperson job 9/10.

[–] FozzyOsbourne@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago

A head hunter is how he got this job in the first place!

[–] Rascabin@lemmy.ml 56 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Dang. Even he got a new job. My "not selected for the position" emails are at 376 currently.

[–] Anamana@feddit.de 26 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

The new normal. You're lucky if an actual person reads your application nowadays.

[–] Sharkwellington@lemmy.one 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'm so exhausted. Just shoveling resumes into the void.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

2019 - Present

Professional Resume Void Shoveler

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Think of resumes like SEO. You just gotta have the right key words- best way is to pull the text from the job desc of what you’re applying to

[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 months ago

I liked feeding the details to https://www.jobscan.co/ when I was displaced ~`2016.

The unfortunate truth is that you need an inside contact for many of the roles.

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm starting a job search today and dreading it. There are only like 5 positions open right now that fit with my skills and also pay even close to a livable amount of money, so that's not great. Deceased sounds like a great opportunity at this point - no commute and you don't need a living wage if you're not living.

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Nah, dude. Just wait until the deceased field gets oversaturated. All the hordes of people wandering pointlessly, everybody trampling over everyone else trying to eat the organs of the living...it's a dead end job that'll get worse with time.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You get those emails? Nice.

[–] misterundercoat@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

(Gets a job by knowing someone) I can explain!

You didn't have to interview? I had to go to through three interviews!

I'd love to get an interview. All I get are rejection emails.

You guys are getting responses?

[–] foofiepie@lemmy.world 53 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh wow this is real.

Nice, someone congratulated him in the comments. 😂

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 24 points 6 months ago

My retirement plans be like:

[–] ODuffer@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago

Dead end job

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 33 points 6 months ago

This man has won capitalism

[–] Blackout@kbin.run 31 points 6 months ago

I'm gonna lie and put deceased on my resume too. They never check.

[–] errer@lemmy.world 28 points 6 months ago

Great profession, perfect 0/0 work/life balance.

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 21 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago

Working in the cloud

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Literally the opposite. Unless he goes with cremation rather than burial, of course.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If you have a trebuchet or cannon or something to launch the urn or casket with, sure 🤷

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I mean, a rocket will get you past the sky, so...

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Depends whether or not you define outer space as part of "the sky". As a Browncoat, I say it is, adding that you can't take it from me 😉

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago
[–] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Talk about job security

[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago
[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

It's always hard to see others living your dreams.

[–] Track_Shovel 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Guaranteed this guy talked about how no one wants to work anymore, or provided 'insights' on leadership/project management

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 34 points 6 months ago (1 children)

IDK why I’m sticking up for a dead stranger this early but… is this kinda unfair cuz it’s just ageism? Dude might’ve been a saint or Hitler. (No, nothing in between!)

If you’re good at reading faces I have to take back the ageism accusation :)

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago
[–] Fleur__@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

I'm currently looking for work at the cemetery as a deceased person hmu if you know anyone hiring

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

New CEO and intern and janitor at None

[–] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 6 months ago

Nobody anymore