Asklemmy

Tell my wife I now have "fuck you money", and then fuck her lots because she could quit her shitty stressful job and have energy again.

I would buy as much land as I could. Build myself a reasonable house and a load of barns. I have always wanted to run a farm animal sanctuary that takes in abused and unwanted farm friends. Then I would spend the rest of my days laughing at goats and cows and chickens being derpy. That and maybe take a nice vacation to the beach once in a while.

Buy a nice home, upgrade it to my liking (CAT6 to all parts of it, solar panels/energy storage/network cabinet/make it watertight and safe for the next 50 years), buy a shitty looking van with a petrol powered pressure washer and indemnity insurance and spend my spare time going around cleaning paths and monuments etc. in my local area.

2 chicks at the same time

Order a pizza, don't want to make big decisions on an empty stomach

I probably wouldn't quit my job because I like it. I probably wouldn't even tell many people I had that much money. My only debt is my mortgage so that would be gone. I'd probably buy a better house with an actual yard. Sell this house to my roommate for dirt cheap. (There's no way he'd just take it)

Probably do some lying that my brother won some kind of raffle and give him a bunch of racecar parts. Shit maybe even sponsor a race team or two, gotta get the young kids back in the sport as all the old guys retire.

I'd probably buy some land in another area, give myself a vacation house. But this wouldn't be immediate. Probably get a new car, mines pretty old. Build a greenhouse on my new property, have way too many rescue animals. Maybe even run a small rescue.

All this is assuming I've already set myself up for retirement and I'm good to go with everything else.

Not tell anyone and see how little work I can do at work before they fire me. I bet I could even get promoted.

Not sure how much money that is, but I would start a "quiet landscaping" company that used reel mowers instead of gas mowers, rakes instead of leaf blowers, and I would undercut every landscaping company in my town just to promote the idea of a quiet neighborhood.

I'd do what Mark Cuban did with his Cost Plus Drug Company, which sells everything on it at cost + 15%, but for other essential products as well. I'd open up all types of stores that sell necessities - petrol, groceries, medication, plants, technology items, books, etc - at cost + whatever the lowest margin mark up I could get away with. The goal would be to drive prices down everywhere, not just at my stores. I'd also spend big on lobbying/campaigning for better legislation and regulation around essential goods and services.

Low cost public housing would be another area. Buying up land to build low cost housing estates with all the facilities and amenities needed.

Obviously it goes without saying I'd set up everyone of my family and close friends for life too.

Massive underground dwelling. Not sure why, but that was my first thought.

Start a housing coop and community land trust to keep housing in the hands of people that need it. Rapid public transport for the housing coop for work, groceries, etc. Buy the old tracks and turn them into intercity people carries.

Buy the land from friends and family to pay off their debts and give it to the community land trust.

Start a community coop grocery store, pharmacy, clinic, etc.

Start a community electric coop focused on being a microgrid first and connection the national grid second.

Start a community fiber and wireless ISP coop, and fighting tool and nail to end the current ISPs state monpoly on shitty expensive service.

Try and create guerenteed minimums for both so no one has to disconnect because the money istoo tight.

I would try to ease the life of everyone around me.

Buy off all the politicians and have them implement policies that will benefit the working class. Invest heavily in renewable energy sources and public transportation. Buy all the comic books.

Hire someone to manage my money.

I'l tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time.

Pretty sure quitting your job would be the first thing most people would do.

But next up? Booking tickets to Japan to eat and drink my way through the country for a few months.

build an offgrid house

Depends on the amount. If it's millions or double digits billions - just live life safely while providing for myself, family and friends. If trillions or close to one trillion - heavy investments, heavy usage, adaption and implementation of the plans to end hunger globally that were proposed to Muskrat by UN, development of similar plans to end homelessness, addiction. Immediate global warming countermeasures. Influence political agendas of countries towards implementing socially beneficial policies like UBI, robotization of manual labor. Basically taking off the burden off of working class and humans as a whole.

I've had on my mind for some months to create a company to build "the perfect phone"

Repairable, big swappable battery, headphone jack, pogo pins for modular extensions, rootable easily and open sourcing a maximum of it.

"Two chicks at the same time." - Lawrence

I'd pay off all my debts, put away enough to be able to quit my job without losing any income, and give the rest away. I already have everything I want and need, the move now is to get rid of shit I don't want.

I'll start a non-profit company that does proper R&D and makes smart devices that's totally open source ground up from hardware and software maybe DIY 3D printable, communicating over an open protocol (matter probably) and managed by an open system/assistant, and extend it to an open self hostable ecosystem of everything AND make sure it's plug and play usable for every end user with installation service whenever necessary and other. And make it sustainable. It can only be done with "fuck you" money and never let VCs anywhere near.

I'd pay off all of my family's debt and secure them financially for life. Then I'd start a truly universal housing project in my city and state.

Work on finding a way to sustainably help the most people.

Destroying medicine price in USA, by sellingi nsulin and other important medicines at affordable price. In my country, Insulin for pets which isn't subsidized by the government is far cheaper than insulin for human in USA.

Relentlessly lobby for right to repair.

Pay off my mortgage. And those of my siblings. Boring, but it's what I'd do first...

Buy a delorean, eat sushi everyday, and give my wife whatever she wants because she's my angel and I love her.

Have a nap. Phone off, door locked, for as long as I want level nap.

Set up a program for kids to get school supplies and lunch money, and also for them to get some gear for playing games (e.g. a "good enough to play most games" PC or a console)

This could also extend to hobbies in the arts like digital design software, paint supplies, instruments, you name it

As a kid I wished so much that something like this was accessible to me

Oh and also buy out adobe and make it's subscriptions one-time payments again lol

Assuming "fuck you" money is along the lines of being able to give away money without feeling a hit, I think it would be very interesting to use the money to donate to small open source projects to help them grow and expand with new features and resources.

Buy a full tank of gas.

Buy large property, create an anarchist commune, build Earthships and similar housing out of sustainable recycled material, setup public gathering spaces, spa areas, perhaps stuff like rooms for artists, musicians, workshops, etc. Grow weed, shrooms and veggies, have some animals living in relative freedom and perfect health.

Ensure everything is weather proof based on location's projected future climate, build water/heating/energy infrastructure (solar, wind), offer each building as rent-to-buy, keep growing the community and make sure to plan for the day the government gets scared and sends in their death squads.

Basically something like Kristiania in Copenhagen but bigger and more focused on sustainability and land mass, so probably outside of major cities.

Addendum: Would be a good idea to make it impossible to have this grown into an insane religious cult though. 🌚

The very first thing? Quit work and drag the family for a long trip first to Japan, and then to Iceland.

After then, the important stuff. Start an IT school somewhere in West Africa, maybe an IT service provider. And while I'm at it, build a race track and try and build up a racing community. Preferably with local-built electrical vehicles.

Invest most of it to create retirement, medical, and educational funds later in life. My family worked hard to put us siblings through school. I intend to pay if back if possible.

A. Build affordable housing and help some people I know escape the poverty we're all fucking stuck in.

Or

B. Targeted attacks on billionaire industries and assets: a campaign of anti-greed terrorism. Sunk yachts, destroyed offices, and offshore resort hidey holes burned to the ground until I'm out of resources.

Probably find a good lawyer.

Buy Twitter back and ban Elmo