this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
306 points (97.8% liked)

The Onion

4497 readers
959 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 56 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I know it's The Onion and they're just joking, but this is not far off from what Nextdoor app was like when I was still on there last year... I had a lengthy debate with a woman on there who had been literally stalking someone because they didn't pick up their dogs poop. She was posting pictures of his house online and taking about vandalizing his property. When I pointed out that what she was planning was illegal and was very likely to end in a physical altercation and possibly with her arrest they all turned on me pretty much instantly lol

I'm really glad I'm not on that app anymore

[–] natecox@programming.dev 45 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I’m the founder of my neighborhood on ND and I refuse to even download the app today for this exact reason. It started as a great way to ask about missing pets and let people know the pickup was happening, and it became an absolute cesspool.

What ND taught me most was that people loathe and despise the homeless, they are apparently not even human beings. I assume this is because we all know deep down that we’re a missed paycheck or two away from it ourselves.

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Turns out it was also a great way to discover how many of my neighbors are complete assholes.

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Not as many as you would think based on the app.

NextDoor is a bad representation of every neighborhood, because the vast majority of people who live anywhere don't give enough of a shit about their neighborhood to waste their valuable time on a social media platform solely focused on it.

You'll get some decent people, those trying it out, those new to the neighborhood, the people looking for their lost pets, the occasional annoying guy who really, really, really needs people to know about his mulching business. They're all fine.

But the people you will find on there most often are the busy bodies, the HOA assholes, the NIMBYs, and most of all: the retired homeowners (boomers) whose world has become so small and insular that the goings-on of the neighborhood is a primary interest to them. NextDoor is a perfect companion to the binoculars Edith keeps on the end table by the front windows in the living room. The ones she uses to watch what those kids over at the Johnston place are up to in the garage, just in case she needs to "call someone".

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

For me it was a lot of little things that reminded me too much of Facebook. Hysterical political posts, childish name calling, and otherwise normal people becoming raving lunatics because someone's dog was barking too much two blocks away. When I finally left there were a lot of people shame posting pictures and addresses of where people live because they didn't like the sign they had in the yard, or thought the grass was too long. Just overall a really toxic place.

[–] natecox@programming.dev 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I can tell you from experience that the moderation queue there is exactly as bad as you would think, too.

Edit: the number of “keep” votes on outright hate speech, it baffles the mind.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Oh, I'm aware! I was one of the people they would ask if a post should be taken down or not. Most of the time it would be something truly vile that I would vote to remove and 8 other people would claim was just fine 😭

I think you're right. Even if it's related to addiction or some other thing, "there but for the grace of god go I" (not that I'm religious, but I like that expression)

[–] Hotdogman@lemmy.world -2 points 10 months ago

You saw what happened in South Park with the homeless? It's a scary ordeal. /s

[–] charlytune@mander.xyz 5 points 10 months ago

I wasted time and energy arguing with some absolute whopper about composting. He suddenly went off on a tangent about the waste caused by sanitary products , presumably because I'm a woman, and that's when I realised trying to make him squirm with descriptions of menstrual cups would be an absolute waste of energy and I should just stop and leave him to his nonsense rants. Deleted the app not long after, I think that and reading a load of racist bullshit about Roma people did it for me. I found a good man with van on there, but that's the only use it's had for me.

[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago

Well, this is The Onion and they are just joking, but Kentucky GOP seems to have taken it to heart:

https://truthout.org/articles/kentucky-gops-new-bill-decriminalizes-use-of-deadly-force-against-the-unhoused/

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

but this is not far off from what Nextdoor app was like...

That's why they made the joke

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 42 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

The Onion on point as always finding ways to satire the already cartoonish sociopathy of our "society."

You have to stand in awe at the level of ignorance it takes to look at the swaths of our nation's greatest and most powerless victims on our sidewalks, alleys, and tent cities, and hate and blame them for your problems, like lowering your property values.

Seriously? Not your greedy boss? Not the oligarchs that take most of the value society produces? That powerless, broken human being on the sidewalk dying of exposure and police harassment for the crime of being a sub-optimal capital battery is the subject of your ire?

You almost certainly have more in common with them than the owners of your workplace.

https://markets.businessinsider.com/news/stocks/stock-market-ownership-wealthiest-americans-one-percent-record-high-economy-2024-1

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The reason this happens is people hold on to whatever scrap of "status" they have, we all do.

Folks can't do anything about the "system" but they can try to keep "scary" people off their block. It's an expression of limited ability.

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Schadenfreude is a hell of a drug.

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 41 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A woman posted a couple of days ago about seeing an rv parked in her neighborhood and literally said, "I mean, I understand being homeless, but do they have to park in my neighborhood?" She suggested the city remove it the day before it was supposed to be negative temps because apparently an ugly rv being in her general vicinity is worse than someone freezing to death. Those people are fucking sociopaths.

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Did she have any indication, or any reason at all to believe that RV was actually being used by homeless people? Maybe a neighbor just bought an RV?

I also love the use of "my neighborhood" there. Because it sure doesn't sound like she's saying it in the sense that it is the neighborhood in which she lives. Feels more like it's being used in the possessive sense. That it is her neighborhood. She has some sort of claim to it and the right to demand certain things happen in it, that overrides everyone else's rights.

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

She didn't really know, based on what she said when people called her out. She kept saying, "I didn't say there's anything wrong with being homeless, I just think they need to park somewhere else." Idk, there's a dude driving a Benz who's been caught on camera breaking into several cars and houses, and another couple that drives a late model suv that follows delivery trucks and steals every package they can get, so maybe it's not the homeless person in the shitty rv we need to worry about here.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 13 points 10 months ago

Classic nimbys

Far too easy to eat the onion in these modern times.

[–] VonCesaw@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

NextDoor user here, the elites dont want you to know this, but the homeless people outside are free you can take them to your shed. I have 458 homeless people.

[–] jayrodtheoldbod@midwest.social 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nextdoor is fucked up because either you're in it, or your house is probably the house they all talk about.

When I tried to sign up for it ages ago to check it out, Nextdoor wanted me to provide the email addresses of five people, which would have meant a bunch of knocking on stranger's doors asking for sensitive information. So now I just try to ignore that it exists. They probably use a Facebook group I'm not invited to, anyway, and I do not want to know what any of them think, about anything, ever.

[–] zagaberoo@beehaw.org 2 points 10 months ago

When I signed up they just mailed a card with a code to my claimed address.

There's so much garbage on there, but it is still occasionally useful in terms of keeping your ear to the ground.

[–] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The law says you have to humanely euthanize him first

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Can that be done with fire?

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think if you douse them in alcohol first it is.

[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Many homeless are already doused in alcohol especially this time of year. Gotta stay warm even if it's fake warm.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Ok ok, so can we use fire now?

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Uh, that’s an actual thing. Guaranteed.

[–] fury@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

He'll be warm for the rest of his life, and won't need any more help, sounds like a win/win to me!