this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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Perhaps you’ve noticed. We have reached a tipping point in the country over tipping.

To tip or not to tip has led to Shakespearean soliloquies by customers explaining why they refuse to tip for certain things.

During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, customers were grateful for those who seemingly risked their safety so we could get groceries, order dinner or anything that made our lives feel normal. A nice tip was the least we could do to show gratitude.

But now that we are out about and back to normal, the custom of tipping for just about everything has somehow remained; and customers are upset.

A new study from Pew Research shows most American adults say tipping is expected in more places than it was five years ago, and there’s no real consensus about how tipping should work.

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[–] Eezyville@sh.itjust.works 213 points 1 year ago (29 children)

Tipping needs to end. It's the employer's responsibility to make sure their employees are paid reasonably. Instead they pass that responsibility to the customer, ensuring tension between customers and staff.

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 83 points 1 year ago

It's almost like the profit motive is corrosive and requires stringent safeguards else it'll corrupt and destroy everything... for profit!

[–] rosymind@leminal.space 34 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I used to be a consistent tipper.

Now I refused to tip at all.

I want workers to demand what they are worth to their employers, and I'm willing to be the asshole to help them accomplish that.

If we all stopped tipping, they'd have no choice but to turn the low wage issue around onto their employers. Then employers will have no choice but the pay their workers more, because otherwise they'd leave their industry for something else.

I don't care if that means we, as consumers, have to pay a bit more for the food and service. I don't care if that means that some businesses won't survive. I want fairness all around

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[–] GenEcon@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago

Been in Japan this summer. A culture where tipping is non-existent. It was such a great experience to not worry about tipping. Instead you simply get outstanding service all the time and workers are simply paid a fair wage.

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[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 205 points 1 year ago (11 children)

I went to a brewery recently where they swipe your card at the entrance and hand you a little black credit card type thing. You find your own seats, you go grab a glass, and you insert the card into a slot at a beer tap and pour your own beer, priced by the ounce. If you want food, you go to a kiosk, put your card in, and order food. When it's ready, you go to the kitchen and pick it up to bring back to your seat. When you leave, you bring the card back up to the register and they charge you for all the food and drink. But then it asks you how much you wanna tip. Who the fuck am I tipping? I was my own host, my own bartender, my own waiter, my own bus boy. I haven't seen an actual employee here except for some woman who swiped my credit card during a 5 second interaction.

[–] teejay@lemmy.world 65 points 1 year ago (4 children)

... so you tipped $0, right? Don't leave us hanging!

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 75 points 1 year ago

I tipped $0

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[–] phoneymouse@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I went to a brewery like this as well. Pretty annoying to have to carry your own food out from the kitchen because they weren’t optimizing for take out. They had heavy plates and bowls. Also, feel like rather than sitting and relaxing I’m forced to get up and run around looking for condiments and silverware and water cups. Can’t make it all in one trip. Don’t quite feel like a guest. Then at the end you’re expected to bus your own table.

And yes, they wanted a full 20% tip, probably even 25% if I remember right.

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[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 74 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Tipping was always stupid from day 1. I've spent most of my life being told I'm a moron for being against tipping culture and instead wanting fair wages and clear prices. Suddenly in recent years people realize how stupid tipping is simply cause it went to its logical extreme. People are morons.

[–] Woht24@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

People are morons but if you're from the states, which I'm guessing you are, there's a far more densely concentrated amount of morons.

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[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 64 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I wanted to know if it’s ever appropriate to walk away and not leave a tip?

“No,” Sokolosky said.

She said people are trying to make a living.

“I always feel grateful, frankly, that I can tip,” she said.

[–] Chetzemoka@startrek.website 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No, I think this goes to show that the whole idea that people will cry if prices are raised to increase wages is a lie. People who buy products and services want the people who are tasked with delivering those products and services to make a good living. They are willing to pay more in the form of tips; they will be willing to pay more in the form of prices. Just give people raises already ffs.

(And that's not to say that prices will actually increase all that much if wages increase because that's also mostly a lie told to protect corporate profit margins.)

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[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 61 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I never tip anywhere I'm just picking up food and paying at the register. It annoys me as a customer and I wish they would quit asking.

[–] RozhkiNozhki@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Leaving tip at the counter or for take out food is just incomprehensible to me. It's like tipping a grocery store clerk at check out when you are paying for your groceries. I bought this food already, what am I leaving a tip for?

[–] ObstreperousCanadian@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago

I stopped going to Domino's because of this. I'm not tipping when I'm the one picking up the pizza.

[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago

Tipping should never be expected

[–] BURN@lemmy.world 57 points 1 year ago (12 children)

I’ve stopped using tipped services entirely now. The only tipping I do is for a waiter at a sit down restaurant.

The mini mart under my building asks me to tip when all I’ve done is bring what I want to a counter. It’s infuriating because there’s no reason for it, it’s literally just there to guilt people into an extra few bucks.

[–] APassenger@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is my test, essentially, too.

To put more detail around my lines:

  • Order at counter and food brought to me may be 5-10% on the upper end

  • Order at table, food delivered to table - normal tipping rules

  • Everything else? Please stop asking and starting paying a living wage or as close as you can.

If I'm going to tip someone for taking my order, then it's either insulting to those who perform table service or the top tip % has to go up. I say people should get paid by their employer and let's end this tip thing.

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[–] roguetrick@kbin.social 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (15 children)

Wow, this "etiquette expert" grift is more interesting than the article itself. https://www.valerieandcompany.com/

Internationally recognized as a National News Contributor, Valerie is an expert in her field of leadership presence and personal branding. She is one of only 20 Master Brand Strategists worldwide and has received front-page press coverage in the Wall Street Journal as a pioneer in executive coaching.

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[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 37 points 1 year ago

The Etiquette Expert... I'm an expert in these rules to this game I just made up!

[–] interceder270@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

I never tip these days. It's a band-aid solution that needs to end.

When tipping, either the customer is getting fucked or the employee; never the owner. I choose to fuckover the employee because they'd rather fuck me and lots of them support tipping culture saying "they make more in tips."

Well, good. You can "make more in tips" without me. I guess that way everyone literally wins.

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[–] UnspecificGravity@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Like with every single thing that humans try to do to help each other, corporations have figured out how to exploit it for themselves.

We feel like tipping helps people because literally handing money to someone SHOULD help them. Except what actually happens is that corporations, with the full support of the government that they own, simply use that social convention to offset the wages that they have to pay their staff.

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[–] littlecolt@lemm.ee 28 points 1 year ago (13 children)

Pizza Hut box: The delivery fee is not a tip to the driver.

Me: Then why TF am I paying it?

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[–] Touching_Grass@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tipping everything was starting long before covid. It was introduced with new interact devices. I first saw it at subways in like 2015

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 24 points 1 year ago (7 children)

How can the US actually end tipping culture? I cannot fathom a way forward that doesn't fuck over a lot of people in the short-term. Ideas?

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 52 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Set the minimum wage for waiters same as for other professions?

[–] Kage520@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (7 children)

It's the waiters who are pushing back on this. I know restaurant owners enjoy this situation, but even when they try to change it, waiters would require quite oversized paychecks to make up for this lack of tips. At a very nice restaurant near me, before covid, waiters typically were making $100k. This is not the norm for most restaurants, but even now I talk to waiters making $60-$70k. A lot of those tips are unreported so untaxed. This is unskilled labor (I'm not knocking it... I've been a waiter before and it's tough work!), and if restaurants had to pay these wages I don't know how high the food costs would have to be.

If you set the minimum wage to, say, $20 per hour but no tips allowed, you would likely have a lot of waiters leave the profession.

Though I guess others would take their place and, since that's still a decent wage, things would level out eventually.

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 22 points 1 year ago

I don't think any of this matters. It's the customers that are not happy. Raise the prices of food to include the extra costs. Waiters in nice restaurants would obviously make more than minimum wage. Waiter in not so nice places probably as well. If waiters make more money because they're avoiding taxes then that ends, sorry. I don't think any one will argue that the only way to have restaurants is to let waiters avoid taxes.

[–] blackbirdbiryani@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Waiters leave > shortage of waiters > wages rise to attract waiters > something something invisible hand > everybody wins

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[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Well yeah. Every one with a card reader realized they could enable the prompt. Whether or not tips actually go to the workers.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 15 points 1 year ago

I went to tip a local burrito place with my card a couple months ago, and the lady said don't bother. She doesn't get any credit card tips.

Wage theft is huge.

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[–] halferect@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I wonder how much Tax revenue is lost because tipping? When I worked for tips the only tips that got reported to the government was credit cards and I mainly got cash so I could see it being 12-13 thousand a year unreported and I wasn't making even close to other cute waitresses who were easily getting 3-4 times more than me a night and they didn't report cash tips either

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[–] GreenMario@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

Only delivery and restaurants that bring your food to you and bartenders get tips. That's it. Fuck you subway I'm not tipping a sandwich artist. Fuck you Chinese buffet restaurant no tip I went and got up and got my own food.

Start being aggressive about it and I'll go 100% Mr. pink and nobody gets tips ever.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It was understood if you take a bottle of water from the cooler and place it on the counter, the only extra was a thank you to the cashier.

I've run into this and it's bullshit. No.

I wanted to know if it’s ever appropriate to walk away and not leave a tip?

“No,” Sokolosky said.

Also bullshit.

ETA: And this was a stupid article that was poorly written. The interview subject also had little insight. This wouldn't have been upvoted if the topic wasn't viscerally felt by USA citizens because there was nothing said.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I don't tip to pay their wages. I tip for good service. If you provide good service you get a tip. If your attitude sucks or your service sucks you don't get a tip. You want more? Then go above and beyond.

If the problem was outside of your control or impossible for you to correct or know even existed it won't affect the tip. I try to tip in cash.

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