this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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Mine is people who separate words when they write. I'm Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct

Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.

Examples:

  • "Ananas ringer" means "the pineapple is calling" when written the wrong way. The correct way is "ananasringer" and it means "pineapple rings" (from a tin).

  • "Prinsesse pult i vinkel" means "a princess fucked at an angle". The correct way to write it is "prinsessepult i vinkel", and it means "an angeled princess desk" (a desk for children, obviously)

  • "Koke bøker" means "to cook books". The correct way is "kokebøker" and means "cookbooks"

I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!

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[–] ptz@dubvee.org 58 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

(American) English: Inflammable vs flammable vs non-flammable.

Inflammable means flammable?!  What a country!

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Inflammable and flammable don't strictly mean the same thing.

Flammable can be set alight

Inflammable can set itself alight.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I've known the difference ever since I decided to look it up one day, but I've always felt the 'in-' prefix was the wrong choice (especially when labeling potentially dangerous substances). "In-" is more often used to qualify a word as "not".

"Autoflammable" would have been my choice.

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[–] HomebrewHedonist@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How about ignitable instead.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

superbesplodey

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I think "enflammable" was the intended meaning

[–] WhoresonWells@lemmy.basedcount.com 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Remember: invaluable is a synonym of priceless, but not of worthless.

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 46 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Ambiguously used words like "biweekly". Does it mean twice per week? Every other week? Business meeting calendar scheduling terminology is especially bad with this.

Odd phrases like you can chop the tree down. Then but then you proceed to chop that same tree up.

[–] SpeakinTelnet@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Parking in a driveway and driving in a parkway is also a good one.

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[–] u_1f914@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

How numbers are pronounced.
In German the number 185 is pronounced as "hundred-five-and-eighty" (hundertfünfundachtzig), the digits are not spoken in order of their magnitude.
Not terrible, not great.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

be the change you want to see, all young germans should start saying numbers sensibly and call anyone who does it the old way a boomer

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[–] Pea666@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Same thing for Dutch. For example, when we see 74 we pronounce it as four and seventy (vierenzeventig) and it makes no sense.

I guess it’s a Germanic language thing.

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[–] Xariphon@kbin.social 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

It's not so much a feature of English as it is a recurring bug in the way people use the language...

If you write "of" instead of "have" or "'ve" you need to be taken out back and beaten with a dictionary, preferably until you can apologize to your ancestors in person for the effort they wasted in passing down the English language to you.

Incidentally, when did people start saying "on accident"? It's by accident! Has been for ages! Why this? Why now? I hate it.

With that out of the way... English isn't a language, it's five dialects in a trenchcoat mugging other languages in a dark alley for their loose grammar.

Edit: With regards to OP, "a cookbook" and "to cook the books" are similar phrases in English, too, but have, eh, wildly different meanings. XD

[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

"of" in place of "have" certainly had to come from people mishearing/misunderstanding "ve." There's no other explanation.

The accident one is funny. I had to really think about when I'd use "on", and it's when I say something like: "he did it on accident." Which is wrong when I think about it, but I know I've said this countless times. I can only guess it grew from "an accident" like "it was an accident."

Even though "on"and "by" are the same length, "by" sounds like it takes too much effort to say. How weird.

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[–] TurnItOff_OnAgain@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That second example is..... Wow.

[–] CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

These are all real examples. Here's a picture of someone posting that they want to give away a princess desk princess desk

Last sentence, "godt brukt", means "well used"

[–] TurnItOff_OnAgain@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Princess fucked at and angle. Well Used.

I mean.... It still fits?

[–] Susaga@ttrpg.network 12 points 1 year ago

Depending on exactly how well used, I suspect quite a lot fits.

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[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (5 children)

In French they fucking have the same word for "no more" and "more", and only differs in pronounciation of the last letter:

"J'ai plus de pommes" pronounced as "j'ai plu de pommes" means "I have no more apples" (nobody says the "ne" particle)

"J'ai plus de pommes (que toi)" pronounced as "j'ai plus de pommes (que toi)" means "I have more apples (than you)"

Which is even worse because usually last letter is not pronounced, so that makes it an exception to the rule

[–] flubba86@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Simply emphasise the last letter more.

But the last letter is silent.

Yep.

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[–] MrBakedBeansOnToast@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (8 children)

The four cases. Nominative, Genitive, Dative, and Akkusative with their accompanying articles. It makes learning German as a second language a nightmare and even native speakers struggle with it a lot.

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[–] creamed_eels@toast.ooo 15 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Not my native language, but the one I speak the most is (American) English.

So many homophones-words that sound the same but are different in meaning or spelling such as knight/night, altar/alter, ail/ale, isle/aisle/I’ll.

Also homographs-words with same spelling but different meaning and/or pronunciation like minute, bass, capital, wind, moped.

So confusing for people trying to learn English and also for people that actually speak it

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't speak for all native English speakers, but in my experience we're very accepting of imperfect grammar from non-native speakers because we know how crazy this language is.

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[–] cabbagee@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Do you mind ..." has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It's hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.

"Do you mind if I take that seat"

"No" "Yeah" depending on tone can both mean, "I'm fine with you taking that seat". Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, "Yeah, go ahead" but not always. Absolutely crazy.

[–] CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Norwegian is easier. If you see a vacant seat, you don't use it because sitting next to some one is what psychopaths do. You're not a psychopath, are you?

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] wanderingmagus@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

English having no consistent spelling, grammar or pronunciation.

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[–] DirigibleProtein@aussie.zone 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Inconsistent sounds for the same spelling, as in: tough, cough, through, thorough, bough, dough.

All those stupid English place names: Cholmondeley, Leicester, Gloucestershire, Worcestershire.

[–] Skyhighatrist@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Or how about all the words that are spelled the same but have different pronunciations.

  • Invalid - The data is invalid.
  • Invalid - The old man is an invalid.
  • Content - I'm content with my lot in life.
  • Content - The website's content is full of ads.

etc.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Old joke. You can tell a contractor from a chemist based on how they pronounce 'unionized.'

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[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

The past tense of lead is led, which is pronounced like lead but is not pronounced like lead.

[–] rbhfd@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

In Dutch, the proper way to say it's e.g., 8h30 is "half nine".

Makes it extra confusing when they say the same in (British) English for 9h30. So short for half past nine.

You wouldn't pronounce €8.50 as "half nine Euro".

Even worse: the correct way of saying 8h40 is "10 past half nine".

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[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

German here, we have the exact same issue. It's driving me crazy.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"-sts" and "sps" et al

e.g. ghosts, frosts, wasps, clasps, flasks, basks.

Just a stupid sound.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

What I hate about English is what I love about English. The spelling.

I hate that it's an impossible system to teach in any logical way. No child can sound out common words like "once".

But I love that the ridiculous spelling of our words gives you a look into the history of the language. That it's not just transliterations of the sounds, but letters in a pattern that holds more information than that.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

(English)

So many people treat the letter S like it's special, regardless of why it's there.

Instead of Gus's, they'll say Gus' when they are talking about a possession of the singular Gus.

If the S is part of a name, it doesn't activate the plural-possessive rule for dropping the S after the apostrophe.

Burns's poems
Samus's starship
Kass's theme

[–] yiliu@informis.land 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In English, lack of second-person plural, aside from a dozen regionalisms: y'all, yinz, youse, etc.

No distinction between inclusive & exclusive 'we': if I say "we've got to go now", do I expect you to come?

Unnecessarily generated pronouns. I know 'they/them' has been used for individuals for ages, but I still find it awkward. I wish we just used one set of ungendered pronouns for every specific person.

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[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Kids split words in American, too; or they join the words. We see examples like:

  • Incase
  • aswell
  • shutdown (wrong as verb)
  • backup(wrong as verb)

Or wrong splits:

  • back up (wrong as noun)
  • under stand

Or just plain dumb:

  • emails
  • till (instead of 'til)

I wish I could say it was better in English, but we're being dragged down with them.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] TokyoCalling@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Not OP, but I think I could answer.

Traditionally, mail is uncountable. One can count letters and packages, but not mail. Thus "I received three mails" is currently grammatically incorrect, while "I received three pieces of mail" or "I received three letters" or "I received three packages" would all currently be grammatically correct.

It seems logical that email should follow the same rules of grammar. Thus "I received three emails" should be incorrect, while "I received three pieces of email" or "I received three messages" would all be grammatically correct.

But English grammar is not consistent. Email is a new word and the folks that use it have decided that it is countable.

I don't mind this, but it seems OP does.

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[–] LeberechtReinhold@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (7 children)

In general I think Spanish is a well formed language without (or at least not much) crazy shit.

But I still don't know why we have the same fucking word for weather and time. While using the same word for different meanings is ok, these two are ridiculously common concepts used a lot and it's not hard to get into situations where it's hard to know which is which. Absolutely stupid.

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[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

OP, I appreciate the examples. Thanks to them, I see what you mean, and agree.

Briefly, I was thinking “I don’t want to read a word that’s as long as a sentence, no wonder people break things up”, but that wasn’t what you meant at all.

For English, what irritates me is not knowing what to do with possessive apostrophes, especially if the word already ends in “s”. I know I’ve gotten it wrong many times, but oh well.

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[–] LifeOfChance@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We are English speaking and as someone raising a kid it's really difficult at their age to teach and explain all the words that are spelled the same but can sound different. She loves to learn so I try my best. I wrote a sentence down that she likes to show people and read to them just to start but always asks why it is the way it is.

"My daughter liked when I read her a book the other day so I make it a habit to read 1 book a day with her"

That's the sentence she's practicing. There is a lot more to get through though.

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