Asklemmy

Crime. That's the answer. I don't suggest or recommend it, but people who genuinely can't survive or achieve any meaningful quality of life while participating in the social order will violate it instead. Some people shoplift; others engage in elaborate plots to rip off their landlords and creditors, but there's no squaring the circle. I'm not in the same boat, but I've been there, and it's only a stroke of good fortune that kept me from a very different road.

Hey man, first off I'm sorry for the situation you're in. I'm not sure if you are looking for commiseration or advice, so if I offer some please know comes from a place of love.

I was in a similar spot to what you're describing. I am not going to suggest that you can budget your way out of poverty - that's absurd, the only long term solution (aside from fixing a lot of broken systems) is more money.

That being said, this is something that made my situation more bearable. I cut up all my credit cards. I created two checking accounts, one for bills and one for everything else. I added up all my monthly bills and divided them by the number of pay periods in a month. I split direct deposit so that one checking account got the bill money and the other the rest. I never touched the bills account outside of depositing money and paying bills - I kept the physical debit card locked in my closet.

This helped me keep on top of my bills and keep an eye on how much discretionary money I actually had to spend. I found the alternative was piles of late fees when I forgot that x bill was coming out of this pay check and I stupidly bought a donut that week or whatever (man it sure is expensive to be poor).

Like I said, it's not a solution and I don't know your situation. No amount of budgeting is going to help if you don't have the income to cover your expenses, and I wish that that fact wasn't treated as a moral failing by so many people.

It ain't pretty, but here's how I got through it until I started bringing in good money:

1. No takeout or eating out ever
2. Get a water filter pitcher and a nice water bottle. Drink only water.
3. Every paycheck, take out $200 or whatever you can afford. This is your "fun and gas" money. Your gas, hobbies, social life, and dating comes out of this fund. Whatever is leftover when your next paycheck hits goes into savings.
4. If you can rent a physically smaller place, do so. It will save on utilities.
5. Don't buy a car unless public transportation or biking is not viable in your area.
6. Meal plan with the goal of zero food waste. So if you plan to buy an onion and will use half of it in one meal, make sure you have another meal planned that week that uses the other half. Do this with every ingredient. If you're careful and creative you should never have to throw away food. - On this note, get good at cooking. It's much cheaper to cook from scratch.
7. Cancel your streaming services and learn to pirate safely.

This works but isn't a great way to live. You need to combine it with a plan to either make more money or relocate to a cheaper area while maintaining your current income.

Buy fewer candles

To echo what some people have said, if you haven’t changed jobs in the last year or two; you absolutely should do so.

As you’ve realized, there’s only so much you can do on the cost side to have things balance. Cost of living has risen relentlessly, but thankfully in many areas wages are finally growing too, and new hires usually get the higher rates.

So not changing jobs frequently, especially in the industries you mentioned, is just leaving money on the table.

Aside from that, definitely look into trades, but also look into local government, healthcare (like being a patient scheduler at a hospital), really any industry you are looking to break into as a career.

They really need the help now, especially for entry level positions, and if you do a good job, you could parlay that into a career in an industry you’re excited about.

So spend like 30 minutes each day looking for jobs, and don’t stop until you’re hired. Remember, even if you end up hating it, you can always quit and get rehired immediately in industries you’re more familiar with, because they also desperately need help too.

I'm not really the correct person to answer this, since I'm not struggling to the same degree as you are.

However I once heard a good tip on how to save money. Most people, when they receive their salary spent it first on the necessities (food, rent, etc) and then save the remainder (if anything is left). But instead you should first save a percentage of your pay before spending on any necessities. That way, your brain will try to make the best use the remaining money to survive the best it can

You get some space by taking a better job and/or better budgeting

OR

You become numb to the grinding system

If you don't have immediate obligations such as kids, older, or sick family members/friends.

The industry is full of crap but I went from food service to driving a semi. 4 week school paid for by the company(after signing a 1yr contract) do that one year knowing it's going to suck and then find something local you like or stay on the road and do online school/self study. Most all of the big US based companies have partnered with online colleges to heavily discount the cost.

I did it as an emergency to save for a year and get out but ended up liking it and now work in safety with no school, just experience.

Are you living with a roommate? If not, you can save money by doing this.

Have you thought about changing careers? Look for federal, state, and city programs that will pay you to learn a trade. Or look for a job that has on the job training — like an electronics or factory job, or doing tech support.

Do you qualify for assistance programs — like food pantries or food stamps? There’s no shame in it. Helping you get back on your feet is what these programs are for.

I realized that paying rent was like throwing money into a bottomless pit. Obviously buying a house was out of the question so I bought a used RV and moved into that. I added solar panels and all the VanLife type stuff and now my biggest expense is for the storage unit I put all my stuff in. No more rent, no power, water or most other bills. StarLink is expensive but with all the other expenses eliminated it's not bad at all.

A lot of the good answers are already posted. I'll share my experience.

A bunch of people I know, including myself, rose out of retail hell through customer service jobs. My first one was making $55k/year (in 2023 dollars. This was a while ago because I'm old) and jumped decently after a year. Plus it was steady work at a desk with insurance. I switched to another company doing the same kind of thing after a year or two, and was able to transfer internally to IT. A couple years later I made the leap to engineering. I don't have a computer science degree. It was all experience and teaching myself.

A bunch of other friends took similar paths, and now have higher paying jobs.

But this was in new york city, where there are a lot of startups looking to hire people. And because the companies were small, the jobs weren't a cubicle hell where you read from a script. I got to actually help people troubleshoot when I was doing IT. That first job I could just talk to people like people.

I don't know how different it is now or in other parts of the country. I'm not sure how much the pandemic and AI hype has changed the market. But getting a first foot in the door is really helpful. You can meet people and get on the job experience.

A lot of job listings might require a college degree, but enough experience can be a substitute. Also knowing people helps a stupid, unfair, amount.

Gotta either cut costs or increase pay. When I was living on $600 a month I roommated up, I applied for food assistance (SNAP), I bought a shitty craigslist car rather than picking up a car note, and I stuck to cheap cell carriers.

The last one is a place a lot of people could save a few dollars. T-mobile has a plan called t-mobile connect that is $15 a month with a few gigs of data. Works fine. Actually still use it now that I have a better job.

Ultimately you need to make more though. Think about all the skills you’ve gained in food service and retail and apply for another job you think you’d be good at. Imo anyone can do low level office work, for example. Sounds like you’re in the US, so keep an eye on Craigslist and Idealist.org (two engines where the jobs available are usually actually available unlike most search engines). Make it a habit of scrolling through and forming an opinion about what you would/wouldn’t like. Make a resume to fit (use chat gpt to help). Lie about things you’re pretty sure you could handle no problem but have no experience with. Once you get a better job do the whole thing again with the new experience to pad your resume.

I absolutely feel your pain and was in your situation for a long time. For over a decade as an adult, I lived well below the poverty line and was homeless for a couple stretches.

I obviously don't know you or your situation beyond what you shared, but I believe that you can improve your life just like I did. I was so poor and struggled for so long that I finally had enough and vowed to never be in that situation again. While the mindset helps, it was a long time of extra effort that got me into a comfortable position.

For me the biggest help was no one thing; it was a bunch of incremental improvements over about a decade. A jump to different jobs that pay even $1.50/hr more buy breathing room. I know you're not "buying too much avocado toast," but there might be ways to stretch your necessities budget; I hear that sometimes things get missed when using self checkouts.

Depending on where you are, there are hopefully food banks and living assistance services in your areas. If you need internet and don't have it, libraries are great places (and you can still check out books and movies for entertainment).

I wanted to write code for a living, so I got a computer science associates degree (not even a bachelor's); I went to school in the evenings and delivered pizzas when I didn't have class. This was on top of my day job. It was no picnic; I had a few meltdowns from being overworked and exhausted. You don't even need to go the school/degree route. We need skilled tradesmen. Pipe fitting, welding, carpentry, electrical work, etc... are always in need and they can provide a good quality of life.

My general view is fuck corporate loyalty. If you can jump ship and make more money elsewhere: do it. If you can't afford some recurring bill: stop paying it. You are more important than those business.

Look into assistance services now. Always be looking for a new job that will pay more. Identify a five year career goal and work toward it. It's not a today solution, but that was basically how I escaped being crushed by our system.

I wish you the best.

Can you donate plasma or white blood cells to the Red Cross? I go to their main center in Philadelphia and they pay $50 for a presceen appointment (1 hour) and $450 for the donation (3-4 hours).

Ask for a raise. Find another job.

Keep a separate savings account. This won't increase your income but it's absolutely vital that you do this. I fully understand that you don't have money for this, but here's the idea: if you're already broke at the end of the month, then what difference does it make if you're broke one day earlier every month? Let's say you have a payout of €3000 monthly. That means you have €100 for each day of the month. Put €100 in a savings account and you'll go broke 1 day earlier, but you now have €100 saved for unexpected shit. Keep it up for a some months and you'll have enough saved to deal with moving/changing jobs etc. Eventually you'll adjust your expenses so you don't get broke even if you set the money aside. You can figure this out. This is how my wife and I saved up for our marriage. By going voluntary broke before it actually happened.

Okay, once you have some "financial security" saved up, do you have a budget account? Keep a budget account so you don't overspend. Only transfer the excess to your spending account, so you don't spend money that was supposed to pay for the rent/electricity/internet/food. Whatever is in excess is safe to spend.

If this is not possible, then your financial life isn't sustainable. Ask for a raise. Find a different job.

Something had gotta break soon. Right? Right? How can this go on like this. I look around and how is not everyone collapsing?

I just cry.

I honestly just take as much care of myself as I can afford and hope for the best.

If you don't mind sharing, what education do you have, and what are you currently doing for work?

If you can, move back in with your parents

I’m still living with my parents. I’m in my 30s. I’m unemployed. Yeah, I’m a failure.