Not to mention the bits we eat/are exposed to are their reproductive organs. It's just cocks with different buffs/debuffs
this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
749 points (98.6% liked)
solarpunk memes
2737 readers
838 users here now
For when you need a laugh!
The definition of a "meme" here is intentionally pretty loose. Images, screenshots, and the like are welcome!
But, keep it lighthearted and/or within our server's ideals.
Posts and comments that are hateful, trolling, inciting, and/or overly negative will be removed at the moderators' discretion.
Please follow all slrpnk.net rules and community guidelines
Have fun!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I'm surprised OP found a dot closer to the end of their speech.
It was a little mushroom.
I just blanket them all with, "mushrooms bad"
Weird to not list the antibiotic powers of penicillin on that list.
It gets even weirder when you are allergic to it.
Even the edible ones are tiny fungus dicks.
Love the joke but in reality everything has that range.
Some frogs are cool, some good to eat, some make you hallucinate, and some immediately kill you.
I believe tomatoes are also part a deadly family of plant Im too lazy to look up.
Berries, octopus, liver, everything.
Damn nature, you scary.
Nightshade family (Solanaceae):
Tomatoes (yummy)
Nightshade (some are deadly)
Datura (deliriant that causes multi day psychosis, might tank your liver)
Also tobacco and chilis. Nightshades got range.
So many different plants being genetically close (ish) makes it possible to do all kinds of fun experiments with grafting. Something like tomatoes and eggplants that have nicotine (though still mostly in the leaves) or potatoes that also make habanero peppers.
mmmm Tomacco...
Yep – it's actually possible IRL. Unfortunately real life is a bit more boring than the Simpsons, and the tomatoes themselves will only have trace amounts of nicotine in them. Most of it will be in the leaves like in the tobacco plant.
Potatoes and aubergines too, the later the only edible nightshade native to Europe. Ground cherries such as tomatillo, and the delicious cape gooseberry (which I just found out is from Peru). Petunias are nightshades too.
He forgot that mushrooms (yeast) make alcohol, cakes and bread...
Mushrooms are the fruiting bodies of fungii. Yeast is also a fungus, but it does not produce mushrooms and calling it a mushroom is not accurate.
But so is mold
The only other one with a range like this is Nicolas Cage
I'm here for this
Forests have gigantic underground fungal networks that connect trees to one another, allowing them to exchange chemical signals.
Except nobody asked it if was the other way around - that the mushroom is a tree farmer keeping in touch with all its trees nurturing and transporting stuff between them
Given just how long it was before trees came about, are we sure early fungi didn't bioengineer these tress specifically for this purpose?
Has anyone bothered asking the humongous fungus?
Trees were there before fungi I think, at least the kind that can digest tree. So perhaps not all, that’s why we have coal. Trees just died but didn’t rot. They were compacted by other trees falling on top ad infinitum(ish).
Correct. there was actually a period of time when trees had no predators or scavengers that could break down their body matter. They actually likely caused mass extinction events during that time.
Sources: Hank Green talking about it (just a fun video, I wouldn't take it as gospel necessarily)
IFL Science article (I cross-referenced this with multiple other articles and it seems to talk about a cempletely different mechanism for mass extinction to occur)
I like this idea - semi-sentient mushrooms just dictating the biome to suit their needs
I mean.. couldn't we say the same thing of "plants" or "minerals"?
Sure, but most people can see a significant difference between grass, a maple tree, a pine tree, or a rose. Sometimes the only difference between certain death and a stir fry is the type of gills or colouration on a mushroom. Mushrooms have a huge variety within a relatively niche look.
True, but they're easy enough to test. Chip off a tiny bit with your tooth. Wait 45 minutes. Good? Rinse and repeat.
Let's go deeper. Liquids are pretty crazy, am I right?
But those atoms, though
I'm genuinely afraid of fungi. I think the only reason they allow us to exist is bc they can't move around and communicate with us. As such, I think it's truly foolish of scientists to provide them with the means of locomotion via my other true fear, robots
they can't move around
Ahem, athlete's foot is a fungus. And there's a nail fungus too. They're walking a mile in your shoes...
Oh, and ringworm? Fungus.
they can’t move around and communicate with us
Cordyceps were the thing that initially sparked my fear of mushrooms before Last of Us was even a thing! And I never considered shrooms the fungi communicating with us. Much to consider. Did you ever hear about the guy that shot up with psilocybin and they grew inside him and almost killed him?
part of the multifaced aspects of fungi – cordyceps is both the zombie fungus and a performance enhancing drug
That's wild and I think it's running a long con
Sometimes they go nuclear
Wild Mustard plant.
Or the nightshade family, which matches mushrooms when it comes to range. It contains staple foodstuffs such as tomatoes, potatoes, eggplants, peppers, and more. It also contains deadly nightshade/belladonna and a host of toxic or psychedelic plants.
Who else has that kind of range? Mike Patton.
Mushrooms are aliens
Fungi are just forest internet and package delivery service, they were not designed for us to chomp on their exposed private delicious bits that make me soft reset my brainhole.
Gary Oldman has better range. Especially because several of those things are lies; there's nothing delicious about fungus.
Because he's not really a fun guy, he just likes them.