this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024
245 points (97.7% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] ahal@lemmy.ca 63 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ignoring the obvious, I was not expecting that kind of money being dropped on the interior based on the photos of the exterior.

[–] boogetyboo@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago

I get a strong 'my mate's company bought too much of this for a project and asked if I wanted it for pennies on the pound so I said yeah, put it fucking everywhere' vibe

[–] meowMix2525@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago

They're probably not allowed to modify the exterior at all and made the best of it for whatever reason

[–] kaboom36@ani.social 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's some real whiplash going from the exterior to the interior

[–] EdanGrey@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I know right, if you could afford to do that to the interior, why on earth wouldn't you at least paint your house

[–] HeChomk@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's in a shitty area. Think of the shitty exterior as camouflage. Burgler isn't going to bother with the run down shitbox house.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago

Yeah but if every time you open your door the neighborhood is blinded by the chandeliers reflecting off all that pearly white marble people are gonna get suspicious.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)

(I am so sorry, please, whatever gods there may be forgive me...)

Whoever sells this is going to lose their marbles.

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[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"I FUCKING LOVE MARBLE!!!"

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh yeah? Let me see your ceiling then!

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Who are you, William Randolph Hearst?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

And fucking hate socks apparently. Unless they're wearing the grippy kind they have in hospitals.

[–] kudos@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 month ago

There's a bang of drug money off this.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Somebody found out that ancient Roman emperors used marble and went all in on that McMansion lifestyle.

[–] Sinuousity@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I love the absolute compromise on the placement of that PS5. And each stair step has its own tiny rug?

[–] jacksilver@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Exactly what I came to comment on. Got a TV that's half way off the wall and a ps5 hiding on the stairs just ready to take someone out.

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Can someone in the UK tell me how that home costs £450k? Is real estate that crazy over there or are they trying to recover the £300k they spent for the marble?

[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

40 mins to central London on tube. Lots of green spaces near by. 2 solid square bedrooms, all the cosmetic crap easily stripped out. Hard standing for 2 cars, decent back garden. Semi detached.

The only reason it's not more is "it's Dagenham" and the general shabby state of the street.

This'll get snapped up by professional couple earning 160k+ combined willing to await the inevitable gentrification in 5/10 years.

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Amazing what passes for a "decent back garden" in the UK. My "back garden" is a 1/4 acre (1000m^2 ) on a property worth $140k USD including the 1200ft^2 (120m^2 ) house.

On the downside my exterior walls are made of glue and sawdust, and my interior walls are made of paper and powdered gypsum.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 9 points 1 month ago

That's London prices for you. That's likely the bottom end of the price scale.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not in the UK, but I'm guessing, like real estate anywhere, high population + limited availability?

There are 9 million people living in London. 607 square miles, which means, on average, 14,827 people per square mile.

Compared to, say, San Francisco with 808,000 people in 47 square miles, 17,191 people per square mile.

Globally though, numbers like this aren't even in the top 25:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_metropolitan_areas_by_population_density

My "city" is embarrassed. 635,000 people in 145 square miles. 4,379 people per square mile. We're absolutely porous by comparison.

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Reading that I had to check my area, and it's a whopping 1518 people in 205.11 square miles or about 7 people per square mile. You got us beat by a long shot.

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[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (7 children)

That first photo - I though I was looking at a scrap heap that had already been gutted, covered in mould and rubbish and ripped up wall paper, before I realised that was just the tilling.. 🤯

The bedrooms don't look too offensive, but the rest is just so overwhelming and off putting.. Those stairs! I wish them luck lol

E: The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen did a revenge edition of Changing Rooms in there 😂(not just the look, but also the idea that it's all just cheap mdf painted to look like marble, rather than actual marble)

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[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Somebody's been recording home movies!

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Much more likely that the agent just didn't want to be in the photo.

[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ha ha, yeah, I forgot the photo would have needed to be taken!

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Am pretty stoned, that seems completely fair to me 😂

[–] protist@mander.xyz 8 points 1 month ago

Wait.....who took this picture?! This must be....a vampire's house!

[–] brap@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That price is obscene. That would be £100-150K where I live. It's this some southern thing?

[–] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago

Inside the M25? It's almost shocking that it isn't double the price (not justifying this in any way, just making a point of how obscene housing prices have become, especially in greater London)

[–] kux@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago

probably. according to zoopla it went for 365k in 2021. changing hands for this silly money is especially obscene since it would have previously been sold for a pittance under the right to buy

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[–] Blackout@fedia.io 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They got the New Jersey package from their contractor

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[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 12 points 1 month ago

Jesus, that's insane. Tbh, that's the kinda house I'd want: unassuming on the outside, extravagant and surreal on the inside.

[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago
[–] Snoopey@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Obviously they skimped out, what with the lack of marble in the bedrooms

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 7 points 1 month ago

Before seeing this I had no idea what it meant to have a tasteful home and now I know what it means to have a tasteless home.

There's so many things stuffed into this house that nothing has any flavor. I'm sure this will be useful information

[–] DontMakeMoreBabies@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

"Good sized rear garden"? That is a postage stamp!

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Looks like early 90s raytrace renders inside.

[–] Baggins@feddit.uk 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
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[–] NiPfi@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Oh my gaudy

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 6 points 1 month ago

Stunning? Like in, a taser stunning they mean?

[–] azimir@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago (7 children)

The bathroom looks like it's 1 meter wide and no more.

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[–] PennyRoyal@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 4 points 1 month ago

I'm sliding around just looking at it

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