this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 100 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The indoctrination to fear, hate, and self-loathing is so destructive to the individual and to society. This guy has tortured so many people, and himself, for so long.

[–] optissima@lemmy.ml 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And he has no qualms having done it, this despicable man.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Really? Let's read the article!

Edit: Yup. No remorse. And also, this is a five-year-old article. OP is a misleading little bitch.

[–] Redacted@lemmy.world 85 points 5 months ago (8 children)

I have somewhat of a pet extension to projection theory... Many people who are anti-gay think that it is a choice as they themselves have made that choice. ie. They are repressed bisexual/gay.

Completely unsubstantiated with no evidence but I find it fun to think about as it would explain their complete misunderstanding of it not being a choice. "I made the tough choice and am living with it, why can't they?!"

[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 41 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I could definitely see that. Their obsession with the idea that kids are being 'groomed' to be gay suggests they think it's a choice. Makes one wonder if they are dealing with internalized uncertainty and cognitive dissonance about their personal choice

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[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago

I grew up with a gay-hating mother. She felt like it was a choice and had lots of books on the matter. It wasn’t until my mid twenties I thought… “who the fuck needs this many books on gay being a choice??”

Lo and behold, a few years later my sister comes out and my mom chastises her because of course you can choose, look at her choosing (after a few rounds of conversation therapy). She couldn’t stand seeing my sister as a happy lesbian and my theory is that it’s because she would never be able to admit to herself that SHE herself could be a happy lesbian if she’d been brave and made different choices.

Anecdotal of course, but…

[–] Wrench@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The sheer amount of energy people put into hating others who just want to be left along is mind blowing.

I remember a discussion with a friends sister. They were making some anti trans argument/joke or whatever, and I butt in with something like "why do you even care? How does it affect you in the slightest?"

She told me this story about how she asked a Costco employee for assistance. "Excuse me, ma'am... ma'am!" And the employee pointedly ignored her and walked away. Then another employee ran up and quietly told her that the employee identified as a male, but that he'd help her.

That was it. That was the one Trans story that she could bring up on how her life was negatively impacted by a Trans person.

At least she accepted how absurd her complaint was when I laughed in her face and told her "and? So Trans people can be dicks just like anyone else?"

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Probably wasn't even a true story. Sounds like the type of vague shit that gets circulated on Facebook.

[–] Grail@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

I don't even think that employee was being a dick. He's a man, the customer was calling for a woman. How's he supposed to know she wanted his help if she won't say so? She was just bad at communicating with her words, not his fault.

[–] zaph@sh.itjust.works 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is just a fact. If you think sexuality is a choice it's because you have made it one personally and no one has been able to give me a good reason why it isn't true.

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yep. I like to use foods as a metaphor. You see, I hate olives. But I'm physically capable of making the choice to eat them by the handful, with a big grin, and proclaim my love for them to the world.

I can do that... But it wouldn't change the fact that I hate olives.

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[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

That's a given, as far as I'm concerned. When someone tells me they think sexual orientation is a choice, I ask them, "When did you decide to be straight? Because if you chose to be straight, then you must have felt some attraction to the opposite sex. If not, then there was never a choice to be made."

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

I think the ones who are the most adamant about it being a choice are likely to actually be bi/gay.

[–] snooggums@midwest.social 4 points 5 months ago

While I think that would describe a significant portion of the people who are dedicated to the 'choice' narrative, there are also a large number of gay and lesbian people who have been coerced into pretending to be straight and are parroting what worked on them. They are choosing to act opposite their inherent sexuality because of social pressure.

[–] dumples@midwest.social 3 points 5 months ago (3 children)

There are some objective methods to measure sexual attraction for men where you attach electrodes that measure blood flow to the penis. With these tools there have been studies that have shown those who are homophobic show more attraction to men. The same thing is found for those with transphobes as well. Just like who you like without shame.

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[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 47 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Listen, it's a very easy premise: these anti-gay workers and activists believe homosexual thoughts are something everyone struggles with, because they experience similiar thoughts and urges all the time, and homosexuals are just people made the wrong choice. The logic is easy to follow. People bias their own experiences and wrongly assume that most people have similiar thoughts and feelings. So when you have feelings that you have been told your whole life are "wrong", "unclean" or "evil", you don't assume that they're unique to you; you see them as demons that everyone faces and attribute your ability to turn them away as a virtue. These people believe homosexuality is a choice because they believe themselves to have made the other choice.

The hate you see isn't loathing for things they don't understand. It's resentment. It's a deep-seated bitterness born of resentment and envy for people who chose not to fight against their own nature and instead celebrate it. And they believe they're doing good by helping people like them make the "correct" choice, and eliminating any attitudes, conversations or, in extreme cases, persons, that would normalize the "incorrect" choice.

[–] secretlyaddictedtolinux@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Wait...

Everyone morning I wake up and think "don't think about dicks, don't think about dicks, don't think about dicks..."

YOU MEAN EVERYONE ISN'T DOING THIS????

[–] Delusional@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's weird because every morning I wake up, I think "Dicks, dicks, dicks!"

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[–] force@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

People bias their own experiences and wrongly assume that most people have similiar thoughts and feelings.

(Neuro)typical people and narcissists thinking everyone experiences life like them 🤝 people with an undiagnosed disability thinking typical people experience the same exact hardships they do and being self-deprecating over it

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[–] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 4 points 5 months ago

You're making a lot of sense. I've never thought about it that way.

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Listen, it’s a very easy premise: these anti-gay workers and activists believe homosexual thoughts are something everyone struggles with, because they experience similiar thoughts and urges all the time

What is the mental defect that makes people think everyone is like them or everyone is the same?

[–] Cyteseer@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

It's just the classic case of projection.

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[–] zeppo@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago

"Mormon therapist" is a red flag for sure. And uh, mixed orientation marriages? uh...

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 25 points 5 months ago
[–] LovingHippieCat@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

There's a great documentary about something similar to this, the pray away the gay movement which is essentially this same thing. It's Pray Away and it's on Netflix. It's fantastic and goes into how many people who are in this super anti-LGBT sphere are in fact members of the community just in deep repression.

Conversion Therapy is torture. And there's different intensities of it. I once had a super catholic girlfriend, literally majored in theology at a catholic school in Virginia. The entire time we were together she refused to go to communion or engage in church rituals. Not because she thought the church was shit to queer folk, but because she personally believed that being queer was a sin and that if you are gay you have to be celibate. She genuinely believed that our relationship was inherently sinful, she was constantly trying to "save me" the entire relationship too. Now, she never went to a place to be "converted", but she was home schooled and was almost always around bigoted Catholics, she believed in the church and what priests and her parents told her so much that she literally majored in it. Just being in a religious community that is bigoted is conversion therapy. It makes you believe the things others say, makes you hate yourself because you're queer, makes you desperately pray to god to fix you. That is just as much a conversion therapy as being forced to go to a place to "convert you" is.

Fuck this guy and what he's done, I hope he knows the harm he's caused the community and that he knows some of us will not forgive him.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Ever see the one with the gay mormon dudes that are fighting "same sex attraction". The look on the one guy's wife when he said the club was going on a camping trip. "Don't you remember what happened last time?"

[–] norimee@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Always the ones that shout the loudest. Self hate is such a powerful and destructive thing.

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[–] Spitzspot@lemmings.world 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

May he never find peace, love or joy.

[–] candyman337@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I hope he finds a voice on the other side and fully realizes the error of his ways. Those who were once on another side and flip can be a strong voice and can help in getting others to see the error of their ways too.

[–] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

But I had stopped growing and was starting to die.

But all those other fags should just deal with it, right? What a terrible person.

[–] reagansrottencorpse@lemmy.ml 11 points 5 months ago

What a scum bag. Think of how many lives he's ruined.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

This is a 5 year old story! Why post it here as news?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Tale as old as..well, conversion therapy 🤷

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Honestly, this is hesrt breaking. Always expected from anyone "converted to straight". But this guy spent his whole life denying himself and then made his profession pushing and reinforcing that shame on to others. He is absolutely a victim, but I imagine that accepting himself comes with a lot of regrets regarding others the people he.... "helped".

One can only hope he becomes a force for acceptance and self love moving forward. But, I imagine regrets will haunt him for the rest of his days. Poor guy.

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[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

If this was his way to meet other gay people, I can think of much better ways.

[–] PancakeTrebuchet@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

This guy is an ass, but part of me does feel bad that he grew up in a world where he was conditioned to suppress what he's probably been feeling his entire life.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'd be remiss if I didn't link to this excellent short documentary on the effectiveness of conversion therapy. It really changed my mind.

https://youtu.be/oYhzIRTRtWc?si=ghylAW79y4sR6gOP&t=46

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[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It wasn’t Michele Bachman’s husband?

. . . Huh.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I still LOL every time I think of her husband. Someone should make some giphys of him...

[–] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

To the surprise of absolutely nobody.

[–] Zehzin@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Well... get on the chair. Dr. Ludovico, please get the car battery ready

[–] mister_monster@monero.town 2 points 5 months ago

That's probably why it doesn't work. Should try more motivated conversion therapists for better results.

[–] JimSamtanko@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago

Color me shocked. (Pun intended)

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