this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
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News

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[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 167 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Former President and convicted felon Donald Trump..."

Soothes the soul

[–] Hayduke@lemmy.world 70 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Twice impeached former single-term president and convicted felon...

I mean, damn.

[–] dyathinkhesaurus@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago

"...convicted felon and rapist..."

[–] NoodleStar187@lemm.ee 61 points 5 months ago

"wouldn't it be terrible if they put the former secretary of state into prison?" like Hillary Clinton was secretary of state and you still chanted "lock her up" you dork

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He bemoaned the fact that no jurors smiled at him.

Did they not know he wanted to be their friend?!

[–] Tja@programming.dev 7 points 5 months ago

No smiling? Straight to jail!

[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 43 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Questions:

  1. What exactly is that ticker scroll at the bottom? lol

  2. This dude is cracking open in real time. What's the over/under he goes full wack-a-doo and ends up having a mental breakdown and runs naked through downtown Manhattan?

^^and ^^now ^^you ^^have ^^a ^^horrible ^^mental ^^image ^^in ^^your ^^mind ^^so ^^goodnight ^^everyone!

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 85 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I can't picture him running at all.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I could see him waddling quickly down an alley with a peter griffin stomach hiding his micropenis

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 13 points 5 months ago

It would be very slow.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And definitely don't want to see him naked!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

I kind of do only to see for myself if Stormy's tiny mushroom claim is true. I have a strong stomach.

[–] CaptainSpaceman@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago

Can he still afford his dementia meds?

Can he afford an aide to remember to tell him to take his dementia meds?

[–] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
  1. What exactly is that ticker scroll at the bottom? lol

It uh, looks like we have 0% reporting... 5 months before the polls close.

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 months ago

Technically they're correct

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Watch party?

[–] havocpants@lemm.ee 28 points 5 months ago

He's really shitting himself about being sentenced isn't he? Good.

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Melania’s going to jail?

[–] JesusSon@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I think he means Hillary, she was the first lady and secretary of state. He has a raging chub for her.

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago

Ok - yeah. That seems obvious now that you pointed it out.

It says a lot that he thinks of her as “the president’s wife” nearly a quarter of a century later.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 months ago

'Course he does. Hilary has an entire career of protesting and paper-pushing toward decent causes. Nowhere near the handcuff record Bernie has, but she's on the proper side of history.

Compared to that a lot of people who aren't Bernie would look bad. The Don could actually need to pause and reflect, and that's a terrible idea.

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 5 months ago (2 children)

They can't charge a husband and wife for the same crime.

[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

You should always do your crime out in the ocean. Maritime law and all that

Never sign anything. If they don't have your signature they can't prove you did anything.

There is also always money in the banana stand.

[–] numbermess@fedia.io 5 points 5 months ago

Says so in the Bibo

[–] Today@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I thought he was going after Jill

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Yeah - not sure what his thought process is. I guess I just latched on to the “…but THEY want to do it…”

[–] dogslayeggs@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

When you shock the Newsmax people with your rants, you know you have gone off the deep end.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 5 months ago

Former President and convicted felon Donald Trump went off the rails rapidly in a rambling interview delivered on the far-right cable network Newsmax on Tuesday night, threatening to throw former Secretary of State and 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in jail.

Queue the joke about the writers rehashing old material.