this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
71 points (85.1% liked)
Asklemmy
44128 readers
410 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think it's interesting that you are comparing "men" and "girls" as opposed to either boys and girls or men and women.
No judgement. Just thought that was interesting.
Good thing you're not judging. If it was the passive aggressive criticism it looks like on the surface, it might contribute to this very topic of people feeling safer keeping to themselves than speaking freely and saying the wrong words.
Alright.
I just like words and linguistics. No one needs to be the bad guy here.
They all mean the same thing basically
They're not the same thing, though. If you use infantilizing language with people of one sex until they're 40, yeah, people are going to notice that and think it's weird. I used to have a ton of unexamined behaviors like that before I worked on it a fair amount, and yeah, I was pretty lonely back when...
I don't think most people care. Granted, maybe it's the dysphoria speaking, but I love it when someone calls me "girl" and I'm 30. None of the people I know care. If anything it feels more familiar to call someone a girl or a boy than a man or a woman. The latter two feel very "official", while the former feel casual.
Also I've absolutely heard girls call a group of men, "boys". Like, one of the white suburban mom stereotypes is to call her husband and his friends, "the boys". Like, "hey honey, how was hanging out with the boys" or "oh, he's off with the boys doing who knows what".
I share your sentiment, whenever one of my aunts calls me a '"good-looking boy," my mid-30s heart warms up.
In addition, we will all mature only when we realise that we never stop being children in one way or another. Plus why would anyone want to give that up? One of the few nuggets of genuine joy and curiosity that's still left for us to own.
I think what you and @mossyfeathers@MossyFeathers@pawb.social are picking up on is that youth-coded descriptors are often terms of endearment. They're often used flirtatiously and towards people of whom you feel protective.
Conversely, adult names imply responsibility. Is it a problem to describe men in a way that implies responsibility and women in a way that implies protectiveness? Not necessarily.
I just think this stuff is linguistically interesting. I think it's more grammatically typical to use equivalent terms to create parallel construction when comparing the sexes. Again, no judgment is intended.
Idk, you think this woman's use of the word "girl" is likely contributing much to her lonliness? I mean that'd probably be true if she was a man because people would automatically assume the worst, but in my experience women can usually get away with saying "girl" without anyone caring.