this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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For example workplace harrasment by women towards males like touching or groping being ignored because the victim is male but if it where to happen to a woman by a male the male would be fired

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[–] iiGxC 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's not entirely on you. Accusing you of mansplaining is not cool, she should've just said something like "i'm sharing this because I'm looking for emotional support, not solutions, so please stop trying to solve my problems when I'm just venting".

In a sense, how people react to having problems shared with them is a cultural difference, neither is right or wrong but they can be jarring and confusing when you're used to one culture but interact with a different one. But it's not fair to just assume the other culture is acting in bad faith

[–] ChlkDstTtr@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

With my brother I’ve started asking “are you looking for advice or do you just want someone to vent to?”. I think most people can do better playing both roles.

[–] Technus@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago

In all fairness, she was pretty patient with me for a bit, but as I alluded to, I attempted to apply small course corrections when I should have tried a different course entirely. In reality, this was the cumulative effect of multiple different occasions.

See, my dumb ass didn't think it was an issue with what I was saying, but how I was saying it. So I figured it was just a matter of trying to be more tactful with my suggestions. Obviously, that wasn't it.

Sure, she could have been more mature and introspective about it, but so could I. So it's kind of a wash.

I can't really blame her because of the shit she was going through. There's a bit more context that I don't really want to get into on a public forum, but in hindsight her reaction is understandable.

Kinda hard not to blame myself when it was ultimately my fuck up, however. I'm still dealing with that over 4 years later.