this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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Be unstoppable. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 235 points 2 months ago (5 children)

If marriage isn't annoying your spouse with your nonsense on a daily basis then I dont know what marriage is.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 86 points 2 months ago (3 children)

My wife is nearly annoy proof. If I texted that, she would get all warm and fuzzy.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like your wife is keeping the Live, Laugh, Love pillow manufacturers in business.

[–] don@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“Why fit in when you’re born to stand out?”

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Baaaaaaby ruuuuuuuth~~~

[–] nomous@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life!

[–] Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 2 months ago

Hot dogs. Armor hot dogs!

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Have you tried removing the toilet seat 1 hour after your wife goes to bed, so that when she gets up to pee at 2am and doesn't turn on the light, she falls in?

Then you burst in, snap a pic, and upload it to your instagram with the caption "I keep the bitches pussy wet!"

Maybe THAT will annoy her?

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well we cant have that, of course. You need to try some new tactics.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Texting my spouse in another country with random nonsense, even though with our data plan, it's $0.10 a text.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can't you use something like Telegram/Signal/WhatsApp and avoid the charges?

[–] Neon@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Signal. Whatsapp maybe. But Telegram isn't even encrypted e2e. Never Telegram.

[–] BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Wait.. whaat ?? There are actual people who knowingly prefer WhatsApp to telegram ? I truly prefer telegram to WhatsApp, and am very surprised about this. To me WhatsApp = Facebook and I cannot fathom to use it if I can avoid it.

[–] OhNoMoreLemmy@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

To be clear they're both shit from a privacy perspective.

Telegram has effectively no security by default. WhatsApp has better security on paper with meaningful end to end encryption. But Facebook still get your meta data and they scan images in the chat to check for illegal data.

That said I basically agree with you for insecure conversations. Telegram might have access to more of my data in a chat but they don't connect it up with all of the data Facebook has tracking me across the internet.

[–] Kaput@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Pssst hey kids ... nextcloud.com. You wanna score some privacy?

Warning it may lead to Linux and other Foss addictions.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago

I literally promised an eye-roll per day in my vows. Can't stop, won't stop.

(Holiday inn)

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

I should have married you instead of my wife. She’s just not that into it…