Scott_of_the_Arctic

Well I moved to the Arctic to be away from distractions

It won't

I spilled a glass of scrumpy on the keyboard and a, s, and d no longer work. So I have to use a keyboard with it.

Medical Biology because I'm educated in the field. Runner up would be chemistry. Or brewing, but the only university I know of that has brewing as a degree programme is Heriot watt university and I'm not interested in moving back to Edinburgh.

The guy looks like one of those Kraftwerk robots.

Nice

At least it won't be as bad as 2026.

Kamelåså!

Nope

Congratulations you just gave the fundamentalist nutters all the icbm silos.

Many ways. in order from first to last the ones that I remember and qualify as stupid are:

When I was very young i put a toy into a coal fire, regretted my decision and tried to retrieve the molten plastic.

I tried to carry a pan of boiling chickpeas over my shoulder and ended up spilling it down my back

I tried cycling down a steep hill while holding an ice-cream and hurt my nuts on the stem of the handlebars when I had to stop.

Went down a steep hill on a scooter and stopped on my head (this one required stitches).

Worked on a boat without a helmet and got slapped in the side of the head with a crane hook.

Tried jumping over a Wheely bin while rat-arsed and face planted on the pavement.

There are plenty more accidents that were just shitty luck, but these are the avoidable ones.

Edit: I also managed to slice open my finger with a kitchen knife while removing the seed from a mango.

Find a company you want to work for, hack into their accounts and add yourself to their payroll.