this post was submitted on 27 May 2024

459 points (95.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26652 readers

4304 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

LillianVS@lemmy.world

STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world

WiildFiire@lemmy.world

Decoy321@lemmy.world

Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world

YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world

459

Meet my new puppy: Ass! (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

217 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 64 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, ate the puppy.

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think we're supposed to name you now?

[–] No_Change_Just_Money@feddit.de 11 points 5 months ago

I suggest "Rover Cloxworth Van Puppyeater"

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 62 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

Cum.

I had to jerk off before posting just to make this comment true.

[–] KnowledgeableNip@leminal.space 43 points 5 months ago

Thank you for your snackrifice.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This ruins the edge.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 14 points 5 months ago

All goon things must come to an end. 😌

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You had to?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What was I supposed to do? Lie? I am a good boy, sir. 😤

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 5 points 5 months ago

I respect your commitment to telling the truth!

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Did you aim it towards your face?

[–] hidden_splendor@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Cum, Come!

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 27 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Taquito

Fits pretty well if you ask me...

[–] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago

Cheese Stick ain't a terrible name tho

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 5 months ago

Ibuprofen

[–] owatnext@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Wood glue.

[–] Hule@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

As long as it's non-toxic.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] HFMo@lemm.ee 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Puppy

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Pinklink@lemm.ee 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

My left leg.

(If somebody could come get me off this desert island that’d be great)

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Richard!

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 5 months ago

please be referring to dick

[–] FlickeringScreens@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

Puppy 🗿

[–] ted@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Banh mi

[–] CptEnder@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Fuck I want a banh mi

[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 9 points 5 months ago

Such a cute ham sandwich 🥹

[–] wander1236@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago

Totino's Pizza Rolls

[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Ass

[–] Vytle@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Cock

[–] Marzanna@yiffit.net 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Kefir

Technically I drank it but it was thick so it was my meal

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Pancake

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 5 points 5 months ago

Same! Fits him like a glove too.

[–] Entropy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 months ago

Brownie

[–] chtk@feddit.nl 6 points 5 months ago

Tripple Choco Cookie.

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 months ago

Croquette and I think it's a great name

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It was back last August, so... does Ensure count?

Also, I knew a guy who had a little yippy dog named Mr. President. Best dog name ever.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Alatarius@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 5 months ago

Sushi. Almost seems kind of fitting.

[–] zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 5 months ago

Pot roast, think it fits pretty well

[–] Pothetato@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Chewy (type of compliments granola bar)

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Richard.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 5 months ago

Toast

[–] key@lemmy.keychat.org 5 points 5 months ago

Wasabi Pea no peeing inside!

[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Knuckle sandwich 😞

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Bosco stick, I guess "Bosco" isn't a bad name for a pup.

[–] Sorgan71@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

A black man's ass

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Potato!

[–] Snailpope@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Phat bitch dip: 2 blocks cream cheese 3 cans of shredded chicken drained 5 diced jalapeños Siracha to taste Shredded cheddar

Microwave cream cheese till soft. Mix in chicken, jalapeños, and Siracha. Put in a casserole dish and top with shredded cheese. Bake @ 350f for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted

Edit: Phat is 80s slang for 'Pretty hot and tempting'

[–] SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

My girlfriends ass?

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Waffles. But my roommate in college bought a puppy before the summer, named it Waffles, took her home, and came back in the fall with an untrained dog that peed in the house and he never cleaned it up. Poor Waffles, she didn't ask to be raised by terrible owners but I ended up moving out early because of her.

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] ThelittleDoe@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 months ago

Taco 🌮

[–] hudson@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago

C A K E

load more comments