this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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My (20F) colleague (60sF) is a workplace bully, what do I do? (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 months ago by CalciumDeficiency@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
27 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

This is a job at a casual dining establishment. My colleague is driving me nuts but there seems to be no recourse for it. UK btw

Let's call my colleague Sarah. Sarah is a salaried worker while most of the others are zero contract but she's technically not above us in any way, just acts like it. Here are some of the things she's done just recently:

-Left me by myself during the lunch rush while another colleague was on a break to manage FOH to go on a half hour smoke break. I was literally having to run from the pass to take out food to diners, back to the till, and making coffees at the same time, with a massive queue. She comes back for ten minutes then disappears somewhere again once the other colleague is back. Smoke breaks aren't a part of her contract

-Leaves 15-20 min early every day but reported me for arriving 5 minutes late

-Reported me for not saying good morning to her happily enough

-Eats off of customers plates BEFORE they go out

-Signs off on things she didn't actually do on the task sheet, but told others to do

She's very two faced, and gossips with everyone about everyone else. And is very friendly with the manager and constantly reporting back to them. Everyone is waiting for her to leave the entire shift since she only ever opens, yet she expects everything to always be perfect when she comes in when there's 10x more things to do on a close than when she opens as we are often busy until the very last minute

Honestly, she is making me dread coming into work, but the spot I'm stuck in at the moment for uni has very few students jobs and I desperately need the money. Is there anything I can do or am I just fucked?

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[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 66 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Having a ton of experience in the service industry, I can say this is not all that uncommon. You gotta get all of the employees together And sit your boss down. Tell them she’s causing problems, and hurting the customer experience. Lie to the boss if you have to, that customers have complained a few times about when you’re left alone, things are taking too long. Definitely tell them about eating off plates before they go out. That’s fucking insane. And disgusting.

But the more support you can get from other staff on this, the more powerful your complaints will be.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I agree with all this except the lying.

If you have to lie to make your case, you don’t have a case.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

That’s not true. Bosses don’t always hear you. You have to speak their language. They typically don’t care about your feelings until it affects their bottom line. Put it in terms they’ll understand or they won’t hear you. Capitalists aren’t like you and me.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

None of what you just said is lying though.

Giving them information likely to persuade them based on their values isn’t lying. That’s just smart negotiating.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It is. She didn’t say any customers complained. But that’s what a boss will hear. A boss hearing employees say they are having trouble with a long term, older employee that is feeding information on “misbehaving” staff to the boss?

That’s an uphill battle, getting the boss to give a shit. They’re probably emotionally invested in this older employee if she’s constantly hanging out with the boss, and they rely on her to keep the younger staff “in line.” And to be their eyes and ears when they’re not there, because she’s reporting employees left and right for stuff the boss doesn’t want happening.

It’s not immoral to lie to capitalists. They typically don’t give a shit about your needs. They will almost always screw you over to make more money. OP is facing a tough situation as is. Even if the boss doesn’t like this older woman, they probably still see her as valuable and are willing to keep her around because she’s a class traitor for the boss. She’s on salary. She’s been there a long time. It’ll be tough to get anything in the boss’ ear about this woman because they will most likely see it as the employees trying to get out from under her reporting/rule.

So between the fact that she’s valuable to the boss, has been there a long time, and that the boss knows she’s seen as an “enemy” among the workers? It’s a tall order to get rid of her or to get her to change her behavior.

Even lying about customers complaining probably won’t accomplish anything. But if all of the employees work together and speak the boss’ language, there’s a bit of a chance. But only a pretty small one. Gotta do all she can.

[–] CalciumDeficiency@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

She always eats pieces of halloumi cheese off of the salads, which is also an expensive ingredient, while enforcing the ban on staff meals so no one can ask for theirs before she leaves. Super hypocritical because she will do what she wants when it suits her like eat the stock but if she sees anyone asking the chef for food or eating kitchen food without paying she goes directly to management. Meanwhile the chef knows how much food we have and there's always waste (they refuse to order less) and the staff meals come out to pennies so it's just an annoying situation where we have to sneak around her while also biting our tongue about her behaviour

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Ugh. I have no advice to give, but what a fugging c★nt she seems to be. Insufferable and frustrating.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and your colleagues. ❤️

[–] Bbbbbbbbbbb@lemmy.world 59 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Having worked in the industry for 8 years i can give you advice that works but is not recommended.

First, stand your ground, tell her to go fuck herself. Its very aggressive and may get you on some kind of shit list.

Second, follow her example. When she goes to smoke, go with her. You dont have to smoke. If you can, leave with her.

Third, tell customers whose food has been eaten that "it has been eaten by 'employee"' and that youre making a replacement, heres a contact card to management to file a complaint"

If she starts commanding you as a manager, tell her shes has no authority and to do it herself, then follow her cuz shes likely gonna go take a break.

Cause problems

[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If "Go fuck yourself" is not your style or otherwise inadvisable, then another option is to start with "You will not call me that. You will call me by my name. Thank you." Say this as calmly and evenly as you can. Keep saying it. Don't let her rattle you into straying from this.

If she insists, then pick a name to call her and insist on it no matter how much she objects. I doubt I need to suggest such a name, but rather I trust you to engage your creativity.

Even so, I don't have any objection to "go fuck yourself" if you think that wouldn't put your job in jeopardy.

Good luck. Peace.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Say it for hours if that’s what it takes

[–] gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Having no experience in the service industry I don't have great advice so I'll just say I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope it gets better.

In gigs where politics matters more than output or social skills it can be hard to instigate change.

Is eating off of food a reportable offense to a health agency? That seems illegal or it should be.

[–] CalciumDeficiency@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (3 children)

It's awful. She calls me "flower" and refers to workers she can boss about as "good girls" yet pretends she's the only one who actually works in the place. Wow I needed that vent

Honestly not sure how I'd be able to prove anything so far as reporting goes

[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If she can report you for being 5 minutes late, what stops you from reporting her when she leaves early? I'm not criticizing you, but rather genuinely asking what's in the way.

[–] CalciumDeficiency@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Her best friendship with the manager, mainly

[–] jbrains@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 months ago

That is hard. If the manager is likely to side with her, then that limits your options considerably. In that case, if you truly need this job, then put your head down, persist, and let this delightful woman be wrong.

"Sure." And then don't do it. Over and over.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It's not you; it's them. I suspect you're wonderful and I'm sorry that your employer doesn't recognize that.

Peace.

[–] Theoriginalthon@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

My wife hates been called "luv" mainly old dudes that think they are been nice, so she calls them luv back. Maybe someone needs to be greated every morning with with a nice big smile and a good morning flower.

Also if the getting left on your own for a smoke break when busy happens, just go for a smoke break with her, or be on your phone and say something like "I don't know where Sarah went she just disappeared, oh wait I've found her outside having a smoke break, do you want me to tell her to come back inside"

As it's a uni job it's now your mission to wind her up as much as possible, don't worry about bad references or CV gaps if anything goes wrong.

Also look up constructive dismissal

[–] gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

For these things I don't think you have to prove anything, just a report to your govs food agency could prompt an inspection - or so I think.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

It's definitely illegal in the US. That's what jumped out at me to.

Just go bureaucracy on her ass and report herr for every little thing. She opened that door when she reported you being 5 mins late.

Report her for everything.

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The best would probably be to go as a group of colleagues and complain to the manager about Sarah. Tell the manager everything you wrote her.

But if the others don't want to do that, then something like that might work:

Have some (secret) friends eat at the restaurant on different nights and complain to the manager about Sarah specifically.

They shouldn't lie. But saying stuff like this might put the focus on the problem: "we waited for an hour for our food, meanwhile we saw this lady calmly smoke for 30 minutes"

You could also do the same as online reviews over some time span with a bunch of fake accounts.

[–] FollyDolly@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Do you have any friends or family that could leave reviews or contact the manager about her? I agree that customers complaints might have more weight. Maybe have a friend ask to speak to the manager when she pulls something visable. That way your hands are clean and management has no reason to single you out.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You should go to your boss and ask others to also. Explain that you like your job and want to stay but her actions make it a harder to work there.

[–] 0_0j@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

But boss trusts Sarah so much

IOW the boss would easily let any non-sarah go

[–] Today@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

I'm sorry. That sucks.

[–] lanolinoil@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Take a shit on the passbar, screech like an alien in a movie and then just walk out.... or at least that was always my fantasy

[–] kuneho@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Make her life a living hell. Make the company also notice, that there's something isn't just right, but it won't work if you won't make a scene. But only if they are satisfied with your work.

[–] CalciumDeficiency@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Honestly, I work really hard, and any of my colleagues would vouch for it, but I assure you she's constantly complaining about me and others since I get pulled aside for what I feel are very unreasonable complaints which only she would notice (on a busy closing shift I forgot to restock the milk in the fridge near the coffee machine once, the milk was literally in the second fridge in the kitchen and would have taken her 3 seconds to restock herself, instead she immediately complains. Even though openers are in half an hour before open and restocking is supposed to be an as you notice it thing, it isn't specific to closing duties)

[–] refalo@programming.dev 2 points 6 months ago

"she goes, or I go"