I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.
this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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Thanks for reminding me of UCB. Such a great show.
I think ¢anada phassed-out Ass Pennies
(in anime antagonist voice ) A brand new copy-pasta I haven't read before ? Impossible !
How do you know those pennies weren't pre-assed...multiple times...by multiple people...and sometimes not people
Tic tacs. Shove them up your ass
Those horse pills?!
Actually yeah. I don't know the brand name but they have charcoal filter underwear that just absorbs the smell, and they also have others that have little scent pads that turn your farts into like apple pie smell and stuff.
Have no idea how well they actually work though. I've never used them nor do I know anyone who has.
Should come in Shartcolate "flavor"
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There a scented douches, and I don't see why they wouldn't work in the orifice next to the intend one.
Narrator: there are many reasons not to do that.
Yes. I heard of something like that on the podcast "A problem squared". It was a pill invented by some french doctor I think? I'm not sure.
Because of course it was the French 🧀🍷🐌 🦜
Just looked it up. He's called Christian Poincheval and he's not a doctor. The pill is called Pilule Pet which I think is a pun in french
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Pop “Charcoal Shreddies” into a search engine.
That sounds just awful
It’s charcoal infused undies called Shreddies lol. They also have a banana shaped items that sits in between your butt cheeks to filter them toots.
Air ~~between~~ on a G-String
Gelomyrthol makes my farts smell like mint after taking them for a few days 😅
That an antibiotic?
Edit: rectified eucaplyptus, well that makes sense. Might wanna double-check on how they "rectify" it. Might be to literal for IRL
I use wintergreen life saver mints as suppositories. Be sure they are in the correct orientation, the hole is for the farts to pass through.
Do they also change fart sounds to a wheeeeezzzzz ??? We need that product
Little known fact: anything can be a suppository with enough force, a lil elbow grease, and the right attitude
And lube, please don't forget the lube
elbow grease
Already gotchu covered
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There are "internal deodorants" like this one https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismuth_subgallate
It's available over the counter.
To bad theres not ~~roll-on~~ roll-in ;)
I think mustard is a folk remedy for gas. And not the store bought condiment, that usually makes me fart, but rather mustard powder as used in Indian cuisine.
I was actually going to make a joke or pun on my Of course its the French(es)
High dietary fiber like beer, veggies, or beans creates large amounts of gas, but meat is what makes it smell bad. In my opinion pork is the worst, beef is not great, and chicken is still bad but the least offensive. Eggs can be sulphuric. If you want to deodorize your farts try being vegetarian for 2 or 3 days.
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