this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
52 points (100.0% liked)

Chat

7500 readers
24 users here now

Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.


Subcommunities on Beehaw:


This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I personally enjoy taking long walks. It doesn't matter if it's in the woods, on a bike trail, or just through town. There's something nice about just meandering and being alone with your thoughts while still being immersed in the outside world.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] bbbhltz@beehaw.org 15 points 1 year ago

There was a period in my life that lasted about 4 or 5 years when I refused to admit that I needed to decompress. I had multiple employers, spent 6 days a week leaving before the sun came up and coming home after dark. I was drinking upwards of 10 coffees per day plus loads of soft drinks. When I did get in I would watch series or movies late into the night. I gained weight and developed anxiety. I also began having migraines multiple times a week. Then I developed pericarditis. I lived like that for a long time. Just popping Xanax to get through the day.

Finally, I managed to see a neurologist who confirmed my migraines (unilateral acephalgic etc. etc.) and gave me a doctor's note and strict instructions. The TL;DR of those instructions was: REST.

So, I gave in and admitted defeat. That was the first step.

Very quickly my stress levels dropped. It took a few months for the pericarditis to stop.

I stopped all caffeine and other stimulants. Stopped the Xanax. Energy levels exploded.

Step 2 was doing something with that energy. Something I hate with a deep passion: EXERCISE.

After almost 5 years of thinking my life would just be like that it only took 6 weeks for things to get back on track. I deflated and dropped from 108kg to 82kg.

You didn't need to story, but everyone else here is right. Rest and moving your body helped. Mentally, I was even more creative. I was friendlier. I was even recommended to apply for a promotion.

If you need to decompress, I think sleep is the best. If the sandman ain't visiting, then combine with movement and fresh air.

[–] negi@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just sleep longer.
6 hours is too short. 7.5 hours is OK. 9 hours is best in my case.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lowbird@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

Put on some music and sing your motherfucking heart out. 👍

This is always a good idea, but it's an especially a good idea if you have a lot of energy that you can't just will away or let go of. Sometimes when you can't calm down or slow down, you can redirect and reframe that energy instead, until you've vented it out.

[–] Zummy@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

I have a few things I like to do! In no particular order:

  1. Make a pour over coffee. From measuring, grinding, pouring, and all, it takes 10 to 15 mins. It's the perfect amount of time to make for a break for something. Then you get all the nice aromas, warm mug, and caffeine general helps stabilize my mood too.

  2. Walking or sitting outside! Gets the blood moving, change in air, sometimes you hear the birds or insects.

  3. Take a relaxing bath. You can go extra hard with bathbombs for fragrances and stuff too.

  4. Light candles, incense, dim lights, put on jazz or some other nice background music. Dim moods and calming smells and good sounds help bring good sensory experiences to block out any bad feelings.

  5. Lose myself in my instruments. Playing anything requires my focus and forces me to turn off my depression spiral thought patterns and focus on creating something wholesome and pure.

[–] brewvarlet@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

For me it's yoga. Doesn't have to be long or even a structured session, just taking the time to stop and stretch and reconnect with myself and my body does wonders.

[–] PascalSausage@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like to dance. Sometimes it’s angry dancing, sometimes it’s happy dancing, but it helps me blow off steam and express emotions in a healthy way.

[–] TerryTPlatypus@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do you dance? Do you look at music videos online and try to minic it, like in a Just Dance videogame? I'm very bad at dancing lol.

[–] PascalSausage@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

You don’t have to be good at dancing to dance, I’m definitely not!

Most of the time I just put on music that suits my mood and move however I feel. Getting into that flow state of just doing what comes naturally, not caring if I’m dancing well or look stupid is really helpful to me personally.

[–] mnglw@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I do meditation. Not mindfulness because I need dissociation for my chronic pain management. I basically do a version that I altered to stay as disconnected from my body as possible and just focus on emotions and observing them.

I also use a yoga ball sometimes, helps me regulate as well

[–] Josiane@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

To manage chronic pain you might want to look into the app Curable, my therapist recommended it. It’s a very well-designed app, there’s also a free trial (it’s under $100 for a year). It helps you reprogram your nervous system, but it also feels very supportive. It’s like care and support whenever you need it. I highly recommended it. 👍

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] JillyB@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really enjoy working on my car. It's almost meditative. When you're under the car with a rusty bolt to remove, all stress disappears as you focus everything into an extremely small problem. When that bolt gives, you move to the next small problem until the job is done. At that point, you're left feeling satisfied knowing that a complex problem had been solved with your own two hands.

[–] Micromot@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Same thing with working on electronics you just comcentrate on one problem which gets you distracted from everything around you and makes ypur mind relaxed when finished

[–] dwindling7373@feddit.it 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Get a lower paycheck for a stress-free working environment.

[–] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can I opt for a higher paycheck and a stress-free working environment? I think I'd like that slightly better.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] UlfarrOT@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honestly, I smoke. Usually hookah, sometimes I'll have a cigarette. I know it's bad, but I want a good life, not a long one.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 5 points 1 year ago

Quality over quantity. I feel that.

[–] azureeight@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Biggest thing for me is mindfulness in whatever I'm doing. It's such a difference between "I am going to relax" and "I am staying busy relaxing to avoid processing my feelings".

Usually a hot bath is my go-to. It's helpful to have some music and quiet to ponder why I am compressed, what changes need to be made, or if I just need time to be allowed to feel.

[–] Lowbird@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's so, so easy to end up just scrolling through social media - fediverse included - or through youtube or whatever just because it fills your mind with bees so that you don't think about your problems, rather than because it is actually what you'd most like to be doing.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] plum@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Great points here. Sometimes I will go for a walk and then wonder, why don’t I feel any better? And it’s likely because that wasn’t what I actually needed.

[–] JillyB@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I switched from daily showers to daily baths about a year ago. It's a great way to relax at the end of the day.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Durk@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Well, when I'm at home a cup of tea usually does the trick. When I'm outside on the other hand, I like to take long walks, I just pick a direction and start walking without worrying about where I'm going and stop thinking, maybe with some music in my headphones. I do this until my legs start hurting, and by that point I feel better.

[–] Larvitar@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Definitely exercise is great for stress management. Something about cardio cuts through stress like a knife through warm butter.

[–] gingerrich@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

I take a timed, twenty minute nap. Under the sheets. Undressed. And just let me mind wander wherever it wants. I've found that generally I don't often fall asleep but am just on the cusp when the alarm goes off but I feel more rested from that than when I wake in the morning after a 'full nights sleep'.

[–] bangtube@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Have a nice porch sit

[–] Jimbob0i0@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Funny in literally midpoint in a walk at the moment... though I've paused to get my nails done as another source of calm.

[–] ANuStart@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like to bottle it all up and explode at a later date over something trivial

[–] fear@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago
[–] koezie@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Washing my face! Sometimes something as simple as some refreshing skincare, and maybe a little something extra - like a scrub or sheet mask, makes me feel calmer and relaxed. Paired with a warm drink like tea or coffee, this usually helps soothe me when I’m anxious.

[–] Josiane@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Just spending time at the park or near water. I love walking too, and biking. Just listening to music… Breathing techniques, guided meditations, jogging, spending time in nature. Lately I started practicing self-reiki and it’s amazing. Also eating a plant-based diet.

[–] bleu7970@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago

Skate on my local bike trail and smoke weed

[–] ivereadalltheory@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

The absolute daily bare minumum: Drink 2 liters of water. Eat as little processed food as possible and as little sugar as possible. Yoga for 10 minutes. Intensive breathing meditation. Sleep for at least 6 hours a night and fall asleep before 11.

On top of that, walk, jog, or run 2 miles every day and read things to expand your mind.

[–] Adonnus@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

15 minutes of guided meditation after a hard workout. Sitting on a camping chair with a cold beer on a hot summer day by yourself. High quality noise cancelling headphones with your favorite music. Being around a friend or friends that all fits the right vibe and everything just clicks. E: Another one is buy one or two in-season quality fruits from a local grower... Just had strawberries in Japan and my life is different.

So, I think walking is one of the easiest and most universal answers, and I agree. But also, may I suggest live music. Even if it's not amazing or not something you'd otherwise choose to listen to. Just something about hearing it live, feeling the thump of the drums and the reverb of the bass in your chest, makes the world all right again for the length of the song. (Wear appropriate hearing protection, kids. Tinnitus is no joke.)

[–] Ni@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Walking alone and tending to my allotment. Although sometimes trying to get things to grow can be a bit frustrating!

[–] DanDeBroccoli@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I love climbing outdoors. When you're on the boulder and focused on climbing, your thoughts are only focused on your next moves. At the top, you get a wonderful view of nature. It's quite rewarding and certainly decompressing.

[–] relicax@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I agree with most of what others have said especially walking. On top of that I'd recommend breathwork. It's odd our society focuses so much on health and fitness in any areas but now how we breath. A recent study found that 5 minutes of breathwork or meditation has a signifinant reduction in stress.
Study: https://honehealth.com/edge/health/physiological-sigh-andrew-huberman/
Video from one of the guys who conducted the study: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DrBdhqBGqiMc&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwid2uyujdL_AhUSCDQIHTkJB5sQFnoECAIQAg&usg=AOvVaw1h4Aoj5PyHbJtO3kuGflAX

[–] marin@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I do some breathing exercises using a colorful blob on the screen and do some journaling. I also do tarot readings to assess my energies for the day and to ground myself better since I'm an anxious person. I guess I should really get back into it because I'm getting really antsy these days

[–] Josiane@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How does tarot reading actually work? Can you explain a little the process? Is it hard to learn?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Labonnie@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

I unfortunately have rarely time for a long walk, but I do love them.

As I spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking dinner I use this time as a little me-time. I pour myself a glass (one is always sufficient) of white wine, put on a podcast and then cook.

[–] babelspace@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I enjoy brewing loose leaf tea gongfu style (in a small vessel with many infusions): it gives me just enough to do, and a pleasant stimulus to focus on, that it's very grounding.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] evistre@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Honestly: Smoke weed. It helps chill me out.

My favorite is to smoke in the back yard with a little fire in my Solo Stove going. Preferably with marshmallows. I can zone out for hours out there. I live in town, but there is greenery along most of my fence, so it *feels *secluded even if it really isn't. My neighbors have a new fountain they put in a little pond in their front yard, too, so I get to hear the water :)

[–] tikitaki@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago
[–] PascalPistachios@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I'm a very flitty sort of person, and can be pushed off balance decently easily. My job is pretty fast paced, so I can't just go for a walk or meditate for 10 minutes. So my rule is to not focus on everything coming up, but just focus on what's directly in front of me. Which, yeah, I know sounds dumb but it honestly does work.

Instead of thinking "Oh, that line of customers is long" -> "Oh god I'm not going to be able to serve the customers fast enough" -> "oh my god they're going to leave and I'm going to get in trouble for not being fast enough."

I don't even acknowledge the length of the line. Look directly ahead, and focus on what you're doing right now. Shit will always be coming in from every direction, but quick steps make for shorter journeys.

Outside of work, hobbies, crochet, gardening. Getting in touch with nature is a big one for me.

[–] g0nz0li0@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I really enjoy spending time alone to recharge. I make espresso, watch YouTube, play video games, listen to music. Just whatever grabs my fancy. I’m a single dad so that doesn’t happen very often tbh, but also why it helps bring my back to my middle.

[–] lysy@szmer.info 2 points 1 year ago

Alone coffee is fantastic! Sometimes with something to read, sometimes kot.

load more comments
view more: next ›