Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

To be fair as someone from Louisiana.... All of you should be banned from making food

Ahhh, Mom's pineapple cheese salad. Reminds me of when she used to handcuff us to the chairs and tell us to go ahead and scream while spooning it down our gullets. I miss her every day since the hay baler accident. Dinner just isn't the same.

I’m from small-town Iowa originally. My grandma made many of these “Midwest Salads”.

I went back for a funeral a few years ago. The was a reception/lunch at our old church. I got a serving of something that looked like jello with cream cheese on top, seemed interesting. But no, it was jello with mandarin oranges in it, and it wasn’t cream cheese, but about a quarter-inch of Miracle Whip on top, sprinkled with grated carrots. I took a bite, smiled, turned to my wife, and said, “I’m home again!”

Ha ha. I had a gf from oklahoma whose mom made an old family recipe, "Pea Salad". Of course I'd never heard of pea salad. It is cubes of cheddar cheese, chopped iceberg lettuce, canned peas, and Miracle Whip.

Seeing these “salads” fills me with the urge to quarantine the area, but also gives me that helpless, defeated feeling that the disease has already spread too far to contain.

My joke about being from Iowa is that you could have a salad potluck without ever seeing a piece of lettuce! My family's wildest is Snicker Salad, Tapioca Salad (marshmallows and mandarin oranges), and Cranberry Salad.

Midwesterner here. Admittedly, some of these can be... interesting (to be interpreted as passive aggressively as possible). Some can be excellent though. We have a pistachio salad in the family that is a go to, and if I don't control myself I could eat a whole batch.

Pineapple cheese salad

Never heard of this, wonder how it is baked on a pizza crust.

(Yes, everyone’s cries are delicious.)

"Food"

Where the hell is the Ambrosia?!

Ambrosia is still the Queen of disgusting "salads"

I postulate an evolutionary "Crabification" of culinary science:

Everything, at the terminus of its evolutionary branch, becomes casserole.

No.

Tastes like depression.

Both the era and the emotion.

You people are all speaking about food but I don't see any recipe here. I need to taste some of these Midwest or Louisiana cuisine before I have an opinion.

I genuinely want to taste this salad. Also, if it has potatoes in it, it is a salad in my country.

Pizza salad: tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, lettuce, cubed mozzarella, pepperoni slices

Combine ingredients, discard lettuce, spread ingredients over flatbread of your choice, bake

Any cold food is a salad.

Scotch eggs, sausage rolls. Serve with salad cream if there's any doubt.

Mother is a nutritionist that used to own a restaurant, girlfriend is a nutritionist that worked 15 years in restaurants. I'm disgusted most times I discover people's family recipes...

You can have my broccoli, bacon, and raisin salad and cookie salad when you pry them from my cold hardened arteries.

Reminds me of The Gallery of Regrettable Foods.

https://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/bhgsalad/index.html