this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Not the Onion

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The article link doesn't work anymore, so here's an archived one: https://archive.ph/9bmVZ

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[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 97 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Capitalism 101 - sell whatever you can, whenever you can.

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

What are they selling? Apart from ads and your data. If anything it sounds like they’re saying the stress will make you consume less so it’s a horrible opportunity to lose weight if you haven’t been able to before. Still a weird take though as war is usually associated with being malnourished, might be the reason it seems offensive rather than trying to make the best of a bad situation.

[–] Chariotwheel@kbin.social 85 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Who the actual fuck approved this for publishing?

[–] binomialchicken@lemmy.blahaj.zone 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nobody approved it, its just AI generated and automatically published.

[–] Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

Fire is a good servant but a bad master.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 61 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Really, really, really reaching for that silver lining.

Like, Mr Fantastic or Elastigirl type reaching.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

More like a 16 years old stretch Armstrong left at the bottom of a drawer…

[–] soloner@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Don't forget Luffy! 😁

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Was Mr fantastic bad? I want to watch it.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wait, are we talking about the same thing? I meant Mr Fantastic of the Fantastic 4 comic, for which I believe all the movies should probably be buried somewhere. I don’t remember them that well. Captain Fantastic with Viggo Mortensen is great, but a totally different genre. Fantastic Mr Fox is a hoot. Not sure what other options it could be.

[–] 7of9@startrek.website 5 points 1 year ago

I thought it was about the trumpet player in the Blues Brothers

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lose up to 25% of your body weight with these handy landmine tips.

[–] TheDorkfromYork@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Do they have updated bmi charts for every combination of limb loss?

[–] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Lose 10lb of ugly fat, get your head chopped off on the front lines!

[–] davel@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago

This apparently is Dr. Raz Hagoel’s Linkedin and his clinic’s website.

[–] library_napper@monyet.cc 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Something tells me this was AI being told to write a tweet about weight loss based on what current events are being discussed online

[–] Masimatutu@mander.xyz 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, if you read the article it seems very AI-generated indeed.

[–] SebKra@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

Reminds me of grace lees excellent essay on how dystopian absurdity like this happens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7O5bBHLnCo

[–] popemichael@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That has to be a record in inappropriateness.

It's like saying that concentration camps are great for losing weight and reducing urban over population in the ghetto.

[–] davepleasebehave@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

the smell of ash and charred flesh in the air is terrible. on the other hand you can use it to form a healthy disgust of food. loose weight and look great on the beach. the sea water will wash your sins away. the sand will exfoliate your guilt.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

And Palestinians can lose weight by not having food.

[–] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

This loops around to being genius

You did share it

[–] griD@feddit.de 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Holy hyper-normalization :O

ETA: One could figure out the state of our media and our (online) existence by just thinking a bit about those beautiful hashtags.

[–] pensivepangolin@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Another shining example of why the Jerusalem post is a propagandistic rag. And not a very good one at that.

[–] BloodSlut@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago
[–] Something_Complex@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aaaaa modern problems require....aaaaa.....¿modern solicions?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

The machines are getting better at manipulating us.

[–] imgprojts@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

What do ruzzians do when they know they need to loose a few pounds? They go to war of course! Did you know that a bullet hole can make you loose anywhere between one and fifty pounds? And that's not including the actual brass or lead. Larger motion tends to remove pounds fast! Way fast. Many of the same ruzzians will start with just one and then gather a bunch of weight loss really quickly. Others like to get the one shot and gradually, over a period of several months loose a lot of weight. Like a lot. Some are not even flesh and bones, some are just bones.

[–] Rayspekt@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

No need for work if you're dead

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

Ho hooooowhaaaat the F is right, that's crazy

[–] ursakhiin@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Here me out. Exercise is important in a time of unrest. Maybe the most important. How else do you expect to out run those bombs...

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Finally, a bad take everyone can agree on.

[–] kratoz29@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Don't worry, in a not far away future we all will be able to pay to get rid of those annoying and disturbing ads in all our social media services!

Obligatory /s

[–] Venat0r@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Surely this has to be satire... 😔

[–] djasee@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago

truly an absurd reality we live in