this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 243 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] lanbanger@kbin.social 121 points 1 year ago

"At press time, the Israeli Defense Forces Twitter account underscored the massive surge of contempt they were contending with by posting a video that featured the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked. "

😐🤣

[–] fsr1967@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

At press time, Danforth expressed confidence that a diplomatic resolution could be reached that would permit Gaza’s collapsed healthcare system to kill the Palestinians instead of war.

Damn, they are on point!

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lordy, they aren't pulling punches, are they?

I love it

[–] TunaCowboy@lemmy.world 154 points 1 year ago

most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.

Here lies the root of the issue, we've simply reached the logical conclusion of a greed based economic system.

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 149 points 1 year ago (2 children)

[…] some believe it is the responsibility of a newspaper of record like The Onion to delve fully into the nuances of a complex and multifaceted conflict that stretches back not just decades but centuries. These people are wrong.

LMFAO

[–] CheshireSnake@iusearchlinux.fyi 90 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why? First, because this editorial board doesn’t like getting yelled at. Second, there are going to be way fewer people with way less power mad at us.

I love this article lmao

[–] Mostly_Gristle@lemmy.world 64 points 1 year ago

And most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.

Amazing.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 83 points 1 year ago

The whole thing is great.

“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.

[–] lanbanger@kbin.social 89 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Onion's 9/11 coverage was incredible to behold. "Hijackers surprised to find themselves in Hell" was just brilliant.

[–] negativeyoda@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was living in lower Manhattan when that happened. Seeing that onion issue was the first time I laughed after the fact

[–] lanbanger@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

The prior year I was living at 225 Rector Place, and on the day I was working at the top of One Canada Square, which was then Europe's tallest office building. It was a nervous day.

[–] wagesj45@kbin.social 76 points 1 year ago

Why? First, because this editorial board doesn’t like getting yelled at. Second, there are going to be way fewer people with way less power mad at us.

Not untrue.

[–] iforgotmyinstance@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

Holy shit the Onion had a massacre

[–] negativeyoda@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

The onion never misses

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 year ago

Ted Kaczynsky's (Unabomber's) signature among the editorial staff is a nice touch.

[–] wahming@monyet.cc 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This hits too close to home to be funny

[–] theragu40@lemmy.world 64 points 1 year ago

It can be easy to forget that while the onion is often one of the funniest things out there, it remains and always has been a satirical newspaper first. And sometimes satire needs to bite more than amuse in order to be truly effective.

[–] ProvableGecko@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm sure Gazans would agree if they weren't buried under all that rubble

[–] wahming@monyet.cc 4 points 1 year ago

Home? What home?

[–] oce@jlai.lu 2 points 1 year ago

Well, they could at least try to rofl.

[–] bartlebee@infosec.pub 11 points 1 year ago

I'm pretty sure the Onion's editorial board doesn't live in Gaza.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ugh, too wordy for me.

Just show me a list of pictures of dead kids and bombed cities so I can do my virtual rubbernecking without having to switch my brain on.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 4 points 1 year ago

Ooh, I don't mind as long as I can pretend that two million people support it so I'll feel less bad when they're bombed.

[–] droans@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Called the President a terrorist

Corporate sponsors like, 'how the fuck you gonna embarrass us?'

Ain't my fault, I was just repeating this professor emeritus from America

But my tone was like

An Afghani kid without a home, blew that bitch up with a drone

An Iraqi with no daddy, Palestinian throwing stones

The fuck you think they call him?

[–] Indymelt@reddthat.com 3 points 1 year ago

Unexpected Lupe but I'm here for it.