this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 259 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. 😊

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 134 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? 😏

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 86 points 1 year ago (8 children)
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[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 1 year ago

This is the kind of love I need in life πŸ’œ

So cute! And practical!

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.one 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For half a second I read this as "to add a couple of features to my wife"

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 223 points 1 year ago (6 children)

"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"

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[–] geekworking@lemmy.world 166 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.

Deb + Ian = Debian.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I bet they've broken up since

[–] MrothersInArms@lemmy.zip 98 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name

Wiki

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Later ex-wife" is like three tenses of information at once.

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[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 36 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Debra must be so pissed by now

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[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 140 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

For being a sick burn, that was ice cold. I love it.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 140 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.

She did not think that was romantic.

[–] UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

there are so many things wrong with this

[–] Caboose12000@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think it's kinda sweet for a kid. I mean what's cooler than a robot when you're 7? that's pretty much the pinnicle of "cool" at that age, or at least it was for me. So to compare a crush to a robot for a kid is similar to shakespear comparing thier lover to "a summer's day" or Selena Gomez comparing thier lover to "a love song"

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 57 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I, uh, wasn't 7. I was about 10 years older than that and just dumb.

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[–] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 108 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.

[–] float@feddit.de 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That sounds more like breaking up.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 81 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I send my wife code she has nfi idea about but knows I'm proud so she pretends to be impressed.

I win her heart over by making life much easier through technology and handling all that shit. When she can grab a PS4 controller, hit start, and sit on the couch, she knows not all ladies get their TV and sound system on, all inputs adjusted, game mode set, and Nintendo Switch home screen come up ready to launch Zelda.

"Babe, I could IFTTT the lights to drop to a gaming atmosphere and have your phone go into DND mode if you want. Just let me know."

SPLOOOOOOSH

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[–] stephfinitely@artemis.camp 77 points 1 year ago (11 children)

This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.

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[–] Jtskywalker@lemm.ee 77 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.

So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.

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[–] efrique@lemm.ee 71 points 1 year ago (1 children)

git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] halvar@lemm.ee 68 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.

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[–] moog@lemm.ee 68 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Sure, but at least they won't be afraid of commitment.

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[–] cyberic@discuss.tchncs.de 61 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy

hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like "i thought of you when i wrote this song". what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck

[* I am a human volunteer and you could be too ❀️*]

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[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

β€œThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.”

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[–] Gnubyte@lemdit.com 46 points 1 year ago (5 children)

No. They'll just name an entire lineup of the worlds biggest computers after your daughter.

[–] Getawombatupya@aussie.zone 40 points 1 year ago

Little baby Thinkpad really deserves it.

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[–] zeekaran@sopuli.xyz 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.

Also we got a sexy time button.

Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.

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[–] Nsh@lemmy.ca 46 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not

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[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 43 points 1 year ago (8 children)

MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids

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[–] noodle@feddit.uk 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.

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[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean Steve Jobs named the Lisa after the daughter he disowned. There’s opportunities here.

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[–] mercano@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It can swing both ways. Half of Taylor Swift’s songs don’t paint her ex’s in a good light.

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[–] db2@sopuli.xyz 40 points 1 year ago (6 children)
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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I’d feel very wooed if my wife named a Linux distro or some open source project of hers after me

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[–] Eiim@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Keeping programming as far away from my relationships as possible.

Instead, I distract them with the fact that I'm a pretty damned good cook and know where the best hole in the wall restaurants are.

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[–] IntentionallyAnon@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago

Naming variables after loved ones. Stephanie += 1 Stephanie/bob = Jeff

If Jeff == Stephanie: Jerome(Stevens)

[–] crunchpaste@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Well, I made my girlfriend a GUI app that converts subtitles from Windows-1251 to utf-8 encoding so that she doesn't have to remember how to do it. And I didn't even name it after her...

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