this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Can they rush in after the first two words, before you say "not"? Can they enter if they stuff their ears before they hear the final word?

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[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I just realized that I'd be pretty safe from vampire infestations. I hate having visitors, and will make (up) any excuse to avoid them. "Sure, but I was about to leave to deal with a work-related emergency. I don't know when I'll be home."
...and then they can sit there alone until I see them leaving on my door camera.

I don't mind visiting others, because then I can leave when I'm spent. At home, however, it's where I expect to be left alone.

[–] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 hour ago

You said "sure", you're done!

[–] PetteriPano@lemmy.world 24 points 4 hours ago

Don't forget that a door mat that says "welcome" counts as consent.

[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 6 points 3 hours ago

They don't need to they just evict you instead.

[–] SkyNTP@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 hours ago

I think it's safe to say that intent is what matters, not the technicality of communicating that intent. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 19 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

This inspired me to keep a handheld mirror near my front door, for when someone inevitably asks if they can come in, I can grab it and do a very obvious vampire check

[–] legopika@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

I hope your can find a mirror made with silver, most modern ones aren't, and that's why vampires didn't show up in them

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 hour ago

Dammit, time to hit the antique store.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 16 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Dude. Thank you. I would've let so many vampires in.

As much as I appreciate it though, we're poor as fuck, vampires still welcome.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 8 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

You can use an old silver spoon or knife as a mirror

[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 hour ago

Or stab a stake in their heart! If they are a vampire, they will either instantly turn to dust or at least be paralysed, so you can easily dispose of them.

Otherwise it's going to be just ordinary murder.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

You're mixing stuff up. Mirrors reflect souls, and since vampires don't have souls, they don't have no reflections.

[–] FrozenTrout@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

If you live alone and vampire shows up at your door with a gun and shoots you dead, could it then enter the house

[–] YungOnions@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

No, because you didn't grant it consent to enter prior to death.

[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

That only applies if you stick around haunting the house. If your soul moves on the house is no longer yours.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 hours ago

Yes but then it has to water my plants weekly forever.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 72 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

the preferred nomenclature is "come back with a warrant".

[–] Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] bran_buckler@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Hey, that’s an idea! A buddy cop movie, where they’re also vampires and execute warrants to get invited into the houses of the victims.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

So a documentary about America then

[–] Cobratattoo@feddit.org 3 points 3 hours ago

Would be a major improvement to normal cops since they would only enter your house with a warrant.

[–] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 8 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

i guess not.

hollywood says vampires have to sparkly shine first.

some vamp lore says it is your invitation that counts and not the permission part.

some cultures need visitors to declare themselves human when knocking at your door.

[–] megane_kun@lemm.ee 3 points 2 hours ago

some cultures need visitors to declare themselves human when knocking at your door.

I didn't think that much about it until this post. People here, me included, basically call out "(I'm a) human!" while knocking on the door.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 8 points 3 hours ago

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A human.
A human who?
A humangous 8 storey tall crustacean from the protozoic era.

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 15 points 6 hours ago (5 children)

A lot of people here are telling you that the answer is 'no' because the vampires must respect your true intent or rely on trickery to get you to willfully invite them in.

But the real reason is 'no' because vampires aren't real.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Answering the question necessitates engaging with the premise. Refusing to do so and acting smug just makes you look like a dick.

[–] 0xb@lemm.ee 10 points 5 hours ago

Sure Mr Suspiciously Pale Human, whatever you say, you still can't come in even if vampires don't exist.

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 3 points 5 hours ago

But there's one asking to enter so it turns out you're wrong about that.

If someone pulls a gun on me I can't declare "bullets aren't real" and expect to endure being shot without taking harm.

I guess we could ask OP to try saying "you may not" and see whether he survives to post confirmation that it worked?

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[–] Computerchairgeneral@fedia.io 16 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

No, vampires usually leave that sort of "exact words" trickery to faeries and genies.

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 4 points 5 hours ago

And in their case I think they'd let you finish speaking because they relish the challenge more than they want to simply squish you.

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 32 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

It seems to me that the wording itself is unimportant, but rather the intention. So I would imagine no

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Hear me out, so what if the vampire gaslights you into thinking that you already invited them in and they're so good at it that you really believe it? Does that establish intent?

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[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 41 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

No. It is magic so they would not be able to enter partway through an answer as doing so would make it clear that the vampire knew it was really a no.

[–] misterdoctor@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

I admire your confidence

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 11 points 9 hours ago (4 children)

What’s the longest duration between may and not that would be valid in keeping them out?

[–] teletext@reddthat.com 20 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

At least 20 seconds if you yell "psych" afterwards.

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[–] Chocrates@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago

I imagine it's the intent, so it doesn't matter how long.

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[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 16 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I would say, no, because the same magic rule prompting the vampire to ask permission in the first place also requires the answer to be complete. Otherwise, why bother? They would dart inside even before you had a chance to say "you" with the excuse that since you were taking too long you probably were okay with it.

[–] vaguerant@fedia.io 8 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I wonder if the magic rule understands double negatives. If you tell a vampire "You ain't never coming in here," can they enter? What about sarcasm? "Oh yeah, I'm definitely inviting you in."

[–] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago

I suppose it depends on if you can write a fun story around either one. Since every rule about vampires that sticks basically only has one thing in common, the writing in which it was featured was popular. If what you write around it isn't very good, then no, I guess retroactively that isn't how vampires work. But if it becomes popular and part of peoples canon in the future, then yes, that is exactly how vampires work, now.

[–] Toes@ani.social 2 points 4 hours ago

This is vampire propaganda.

You're already at their mercy if they are talking to you.

[–] big_fat_fluffy@leminal.space 7 points 6 hours ago

The statement is more of a ritual appliance. I think the intent is key.

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 9 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

A vampire mesmerizing a victim into allowing entry always felt like cheating to me

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Yes, that would be cheating.

[–] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Isn't that the entire reason behind the rule, so that they could write a way for the vampires to circumvent it. They established a fake rule that never used to exist and then proceeded to prop it up over and over until the reader believed it to be law, and then when they least expected it, it was dashed to pieces in an instant.

Of course it's cheating, but cheating at what exactly? Cheating at a rule that never even used to exist, was written specifically to later be broken in that very same book. It's like any puzzle design in writing, like murder mystery, they usually create the puzzle backwards by thinking of fun solutions to problems they could then create to lead there.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 16 points 8 hours ago

"You mayn't."

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 8 points 8 hours ago

They're fast, faster than you can imagine, don't look away and don't blink. Blink and you're dead.

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