this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
46 points (96.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26980 readers
1286 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Platypus@lemmings.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Not at "one that got away story really " but... Middle school or early high school (I don't understand well your USA system), one girl asked me to be her bf (maybe as a joke idk), i did 180 and said bye, just wasn't into those things yet, only cared about watching Digimon and stuff. Typical nerd with thick glasses.

I always considered her physically unattractive but she was a sweet heart with everyone, soft spoken, her mom was a religion teacher at our school.

Anyways, next year, hormones were doing its job I guess, she looked the same ugly duckling for me, but she also... I dunno, like something was calling me towards her and I though many years later, even to this day "man, I should've said yes, even if it was a prank or a short thing".

She became the girlfriend of the only "jock" (for you Americans) of the class about 3 months after my "rejection".

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 1 hour ago

Last time I saw her was at a high school reunion, and that was ten years ago. She had a couple of young kids and was married to a firefighter. I really liked the guy.

She didn’t really get away because I never went for her. She was my high school crush.

It feels nice, now, to think of her in encased in a nice situation. Their family looked healthy and happy. It’s nice, if one does get away, to see her with a good guy.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 12 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

My high school boyfriend who I fell in love with when I was 12. The trouble was he was 16, and then I was 14 and he was 18, and at the time I didn't understand what the problem was. We had a brief moment together when I was 14 and he 17, and nobody but the two of us has ever been so in love. Never felt anything like that in my life again, it was like a . But then I was too young and he got kicked out of his parents house and moved away. I caught up with him on Facebook by accident, and he was this lovely smart pleasant progressive person who loved Obama and Trudeau. I quit Facebook for a while and when I went back he was a Trump Qanon psycho despite being Canadian, albeit born in the US. It's like seeing someone catch leprosy or something. Like they had a brain infection and came out with a totally different personality. I am way more left than Obama and Trudeau, but he at least reasonably believed in progressive politics. Suddenly he was an antimasker making shitty comments about trans people. Obviously I ended up dodging a bullet because that's a no go for me, but I never felt such pure love in my life as I did for him and it hurt terribly to see him become this lunatic even if we weren't together.

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Or, you could have been the one to keep him sane.

The power of love is the most powerful power of all

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Never really had the chance to get off the ground. But I really truly loved him. I couldn't eat or sleep the feeling was so strong, and it was the same for him.

[–] sirboozebum@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

The far-left to far-right pipeline is wild.

It's like they had ideological consistency in the first place.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

He was not at any time far left.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I had a huge crush on my god parent's (friends of the family, not actual family) daughter growing up. I asked her to marry me when I was, like, 8 (she was like 16 at the time iirc)? She got married years ago and I was actually wondering about how she's doing the other day; but I don't know how to contact her.

[–] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 1 points 4 hours ago

TLD is still a Sony Supporter and that's all I need to say.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 6 points 8 hours ago

I saw her crossing the street (not at a crosswalk). Beautiful, confident, zero fucks given, I was immediately in love. I debated pulling over and seeing if I could go back and find her, but it happened too fast and there was no good road to turn onto. Oh well, even though she didn't have a collar, she probably already had a home...

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

The one that got away is currently posting this comment.

[–] halfeatenpotato@lonestarlemmy.mooo.com 14 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

I've been a serial monogamist since I started dating (way back in middle school), and my major relationships have been 1.5 years, 5.5 years, 2 years, and my current relationship which is 8+. My "ones that got away" were actually people that I wish I had messed around with in a no-strings-attached sort of way when I happened to be single. Problem is that I was never single for very long. Should've seen that as a personal red flag at the time, but I lacked the maturity and clarity.

Anyways, it's not like an active desire I have. I'm really lucky - I'm married to a great guy, and I truly believe I've chosen an excellent life partner. Certainly the best fit for me from all the guys I've met. Just sometimes I wish I hadn't taken love and sex so seriously when I was younger, and tried to have more fun.

If any young person is reading this, get it out of your system! Anybody that's gonna judge you isn't worth your time. Just be smart and safe about it, but you've got your whole adult life to be serious.

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Married 20 years and also a serial monogamist and this is great advice IMO.

I don't have a "one that got away" either and I'm madly in love with my wife but yeah.... I definitely could have had more fun. Get out there.

[–] grrgyle 4 points 10 hours ago

Maybe it's how I'm wired (I'm demi) or because I did get it out of my system, but I find the sentiment confusing. I know of several friends who've had way more partners and hookups than me, but they still seem to feel unsatisfied. Like they regret not doing even more.

Maybe there is a magic number that one can hit that leads to a satisfying sexual history, but from the outside it looks to me like a type of dysphoria - that is, of the people I'm thinking of, I don't believe they'll ever feel complete.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

I got her back about a year or two later. She's currently about 1m to my right, and now that 15 years have passed we share a house with four kids and two cats.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 hours ago

... So she didn't get away?

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 22 points 15 hours ago

There's more than one. I saw one of them lately, she's doing good. We talked and hugged. That felt good, a little closure.

Mostly I don't know since I am so bad with people and they stay the fuck away from me which, good for them.

There's some I really grieve for. The things I couldn't do. The things I was too bad at.

I hope all of them are better than I am.

[–] Battle_Masker@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

there was this one girl I knew that we both kinda bonded over being outcasts, among other things. I didn't do anything cause I had untreated clinical anxiety and adhd, but that's unrelated. Anyway she stopped going to my school and there was also a girl in my neighborhood who got kidnapped, and I don't think those events involved the same girl, but rumor around the school was that it was, while I thought it was someone else. At this point, I don't even know if there's a way to answer that question

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What? The second half of this makes no sense.

[–] sirboozebum@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

It's like he was having a stroke while typing that up.

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

No idea and I want to keep it that way.

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 18 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

They all got away. I don't know how any of them turned out; because I disappeared and became lost.

[–] BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee 4 points 13 hours ago

Hah, relatable

[–] VinesNFluff@pawb.social 5 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

She was a he when I wanted him. Came out as transgender a few years after.

Cool gal, tho.

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 6 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

I'm in my 50's. I have had 3 that got away (2+ years living together). I get along with them famously. They are doing good-great, probably because we never got to life-partner stage. I'm not perfect by any means, so our non-matching characteristics, and my inability, then, to understand mutual acceptance then would have probably soured things long-term. Great memories and lived experiences. Nobody can take that from us.

My ex wife and mother of kids and I had 8 great years. 4 OK, and 4 crap years. We can barely communicate now.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 9 points 15 hours ago

Last I know, she's living a successful life doing what she wanted to do. Good for her.

[–] Nemo 3 points 13 hours ago

I dunno, she never had social media at the time and apparently still doesn't.

[–] NeoToasty@kbin.melroy.org 2 points 12 hours ago

I've had maybe 6 people that got away who I could have had a better relationship with than most of the ones I already have had.

Thankfully one of them is still a good friend of mine, we just mesh well in behavior and understanding eachother. Unfortunately, it was a case of her being too reluctant to have taken a chance with me when I broke up with one of my exes some 14 or so years ago. Since then, she's been with someone new and while it's been going well. But we've talked at times about how we could've been if we were theoretically together.

And nothing feels worse than not only knowing you could've had them if they just spoke up, but knowing all this time later and not having a crack of a shot to try. It just sucks.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago

I honestly don't know much. She got away. All I know is she's part of a swing dance club in a distant town, from which I can conclude she isn't dead. So that's nice.