The one about the end times coming? Seems fitting! Does Christianity even have any other prophecies?
this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
219 points (95.4% liked)
Not The Onion
12365 readers
398 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I mean, the one about the Antichrist fooling Christians fits so well that I'd probably believe it's actually happening if I believed in their bronze age fairy tales to begin with..
There's an entire website dedicated to relating each passage in the bible about the antichrist to trump. I don't remember what the site was, but a quick google search should get the result.
I've seen it and it's damn convincing, pun intended 😁
There's the line about the beast that was wounded unto death and yet lived that seems vaguely apropos
13:3:
And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.
That is eerily similar. But then again, stuff like this probably also happened 2000 years ago. Just start doomprepping if people start wearing black and take up horseriding!
Just start doomprepping if people start wearing black and take up horseriding!
I have some bad news for you about several Olympic events..
How does one doom preps? Chainsaw, shotgun, green armor?
No, that's Christmas.
It does have grifters trying to "crack a code" in the bible. This "prophecy" is based on one of those grifters' prophecy.
So not all Doomsday prophecies were wrong! 😮
Name one of the ten commandments Trump hasn't broken challenge [impossible]
I think he hasn't broken the fifth
"Honor your father and your mother"
I think he hasn't killed anyone, but then again what happened with Covid...
You break that one if you get angry at someone
Arguably he's done that one over and over in his speeches, and with the Central Park Five, and with the other people I'm sure he's fantasized about killing over the years.
That's the thing- Murder starts in the heart with anger. It's the attitude of murder that's sinful in general. Same with lust being the start of adultery.
So God let him lose in 2020, but then decided he wanted him to back in 2024? God is pretty undecisive for an all mighty and all knowing kinda dude.
Nonono see God both has total control but also loses to Satan at the same time. Doesn't make sense? Something vague about free will!
See, god has total control, knows everything and is the ultimate good. Sounds like something that can't be true when the world is the way it is? Well, someone very clever has found the perfect solution that explains everything: God must be extremely stupid.
Especially for a guy with a "Divine Plan." Did God have to change his plan? For Donald Trump?
Of course that God had to change his plan to accommodate an higher being than himself.
oh you mean god god man.
If things are going my way, it's God's prophecies (as interpreted by me) fulfilled.
If things are not going my way, it's God punishing us for not doing things my way.
Also: if a natural disaster hurts people I don't like, they're being punished by God. If it hurts me, God is just testing me.
These people are idiots. It's all made up crap.
The death cult got their Anti-Christ back! The rapture is back on schedule.
Who knew the prophecy of the apocalypse was self fulfilling
I will never understand Christians, we could have heaven on earth if we fucking built it, but they would rather destroy the world because of their fairy tale book
If there's a hell they're all going there.
I grew up in an evangelical community, and Trump fits the exact definition and description of the anti Christ that we were given, even down to his ability to fool Christians into following him.
If you are looking for self-centred, gullible people who think that the status quo is to their benefit go to your local church.
True. Or the DNC headquarters.
I believe Trump, Putin, Xi and Netanyahu are the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. So I do believe a prophecy is being fulfilled, although not one worth celebrating.
Prophecy, you say?
Honestly? Wynn didn't sell Bajor out to the Cardassian Empire.
She did attempt to hand it over to the pah-wraith tho.
And?
Pah-wraiths are Bajoran.
Make Bajor Great Before/Always!
Seeing as the Jesus of the Bible was absolutely a far-left liberal commie bastard by their standards, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they're the only ones not raptured at the end.
Indeed, a prophecy fulfilled--Maelstrom. An soon-to-be hypercane, and extinction event. It will eliminate most, if not all life on Earth, due to climate change inaction. Or, abortions. It depends on whether you're a failed one or not.
My congratulations, America. Bask in your victory, oblivious to the true damnation you have caused. May humanity peacefully protest against the now-inevitable cataclysm you have brought upon yourselves.
Wretches.
I mean, the book of Revelations is indeed a prophecy.
Aha! That's the second coming?
Oh yeah. This is the sort of stuff that will be in the news all the time from now on. It’s pretty crazy already, but just remember what it was like during the pandemic. We were so deep in crazy town that nothing was considered surprising any more.
...wait how many plagues were supposed to be? I thought we were done with this after the locusts n' shit.
There's the part where all the firstborn sons die unless their parents paint the walls with sheep's blood.
Heh.