this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 110 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey, FBI... Can I get a warning on my next felony?

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Get away with the first two, and you earn a warning, is that how law enforcement works now at the DOJ?

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm fantasizing about what I'd use my mulligan on. No violence, maybe like a big drug score?

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 101 points 1 month ago (3 children)

AND YA BETTER NOT DO IT AGAIN OR ILL GET REEEAAAL GRUMPY!

The American Justice system is so embarrassingly lenient to the rich. How are you guys not rioting every single day?

[–] LutefiskPizza@fedia.io 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Because there is no social safety net. Rioting could lead to arrest and job loss. Resulting in loss of home, medical insurance, etc.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 35 points 1 month ago

That’s… sad and disturbing.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 weeks ago

Because the DOJ would throw me in jail

[–] Yawweee877h444@lemmy.world 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Billionaires get warnings lol.

Poor people get prison rape.

[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 3 points 4 weeks ago

And their hired thugs that get caught get Epsteined.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 45 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Buy drugs to enjoy in your free time: jail
Buy votes to sway the country and its laws: warning

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

He probably spends thousands a month on Ketamine... so I don't know if that's necessarily true.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Ketamine is my drug of choice, so I believe I can say with almost certainty Elon does not. Because if he did, he'd see how stupid he is and how wrong his decisions are. And what kind of destruction he creates to the world and society.

Since he's narcissistic AF, believes he owns the world, the law doesn't apply to him and is better then everyone else I believe his drug of choice is cocain.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

His drug of choice is ketamine, it's well known, he isn't shy about it. His friends have said something like "he microdoses daily and macrodoses often at parties"

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

Then his dealer is fucking with him 😂

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee -2 points 4 weeks ago

Musk didn’t buy votes. If he bought anything, then he bought petition signatures.

[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 33 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

If I were to break federal law I would get indicted not a warning

Sounds like you're either not rich enough, not white enough, or both.

[–] tpyoman@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Rules for thee not for me.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Chozo@fedia.io 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The DOJ is not "The American People".

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

The DOJ = The Billionaire Oligarchy

[–] ravhall@discuss.online 28 points 4 weeks ago

Can I get a warning for murdering?

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago

They should double-warn him. These limp-wristed single warnings aren't doing the trick. Maybe even triple-dog-warn him for good measure—no tag-backs.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 18 points 1 month ago

We should try asking politely if he'd care to consider the law, if it pleases him to do so, in the future.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 18 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

It's the us. If you're rich you get warned

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

yeah i know. needs to change

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

"Stop or I will yell 'stop' again!"

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 weeks ago

We didn't like the term kangaroo court so we just stopped going to court.

[–] nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If Musk was Chinese he'd be in gitmo by now.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 3 points 4 weeks ago

No. That's if he's Arab. Chinese get interned.

Or if China doesn't like them either, "returned to the homeland" where they'll be disappeared forever in one of their, "put them here until trial" black holes where people go in but they don't come out (without the right bribes/political influence).

[–] overload@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

Unbelievable

[–] disconnectikacio@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago