Greentext

What really baffles me is the fact that he seems to think looks and personality can't be affected.

There are multiple industries which exist solely to make people look better, even without considering cosmetic surgery.

Learning social skills is equally possible. Many, many books and classes are dedicated on the subject. There are many non-physical aspects of attractiveness, and social skills and personality are some, but shared interests, type of humour, mentality towards life, values and goals also play a part.

The fatalism in the post makes me sad for him.

What's odd is that Anon is so close to achieving enlightenment. I got to a point in my life where I felt like I had no idea how to attract a romantic partner. I'd dated a few times, but each time it had kind of fell into my lap, and I never got the hang of talking to women I found attractive in a way that made it clear I was interested.

So I just gave up. I accepted that I had no idea how to get a date, and I just went about my life, pursuing things that I found interesting.

And, lo and behold, I wound up meeting the woman I would marry, albeit through the mechanism of someone straight up telling me that she was interested in me.

If you're focused on "getting" a girlfriend, you're thinking of a partner as a valuable object to be acquired, and you're not enjoying your own life, and improving yourself within that life. If you don't think of romance as a pursuit, but rather as something good that can happen within the context of living your life well, then you are much better off.

Also, you've really got to get it into your head and heart that women are people and not prey animals, which I'm going to be honest, it seems might be a detail that is escaping Anon.

“Which are looks or an extravagant personality”

Why won’t cure girls date me, I’m ugly AND boring!

It’s so sad that these people clump together and just reinforce each other’s insecurities. Sure if you look like a thumb and only want to regurgitate 4chan memes you aren’t a very desirable partner. But there are tons of guys that are not leading man attractive that have partners. How do they do it?

Do things, when you do the things if there are women there, treat them like the human beings that they are. The more things you do the more stuff you have to talk about, when you find people that like the same stuff you do and you treat them like people, they end up liking you… it’s really that easy.

It is maddening watching so many men gather together to try to unravel the mystery of “treat women as people” and the absolutely bonkers alternatives they will come up with. Did you know that there are fitcels? These are incels that bought the propaganda and decided “I’ll become the Chad” and dedicated themselves to building fit bodies. They still have the “-cel” suffix because for all the effort, all the hours in the gym, all the supplements, all the physical pain, they never realized that women are people.

It’s fucking wild. Maybe the internet was a mistake

Hmm, methinks that Anon (and all of us straight men) might do better by treating women as people. If we feel it's so important to have a cute girlfriend, then should we not respect that a woman might want a cute boyfriend? If we think women should keep an open mind about us, maybe set an example, and keep an open mind about non-physical traits that make a woman cute?

Yeah, it's always down to luck—that's just life—but being a good dude is putting your thumb on the scale in your own favor.

Yeesh. This guy has come to the conclusion that you can’t learn how to behave normally and that’s it’s a given trait. I think I see where their lack of success comes from.

I don’t think Anon is considering the set of all possible cute girlfriends or lending them enough agency. I think it’s somewhat reasonable if you’re app dating to assume that people are doing some amount of maximizing cute + interesting or something similar but I think that’s because the apps encourage people to gamify dating.

Anecdotally I’ve seen a ton of…erm…normatively mismatched couples form and find success in other contexts like dive bars, pick up soccer, chatrooms, kink communities, boardgame cafes, more traditional dating sites etc. Again anecdotally these relationships seem to skew (normatively) in the guy’s favor more often than the gal’s as far as looks and personality go despite the fact that complaints like this come more often from men.

Just date men, anon. We dont need all these words for such a simple solution.

Please just suck my cock anon, please u need your sloppy toppy anon just be my cute gf anon I neeeeeeddd ittt 🥵🥵🥵😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🥸