A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
Encouraged:
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
That's a great way to put a positive spin on it, but be realistic. ADHD is not a super power, it's not all sunshine and roses, it is a disorder. You can sometimes harness parts of it for positive outcomes but it has a lot of negative results too.
Another thing to remember: your ADHD is not everybody's ADHD. Some people have less severe cases, others have more severe cases.
For every time you can hyperfocus on work, imagine every time you've hyperfocused on ants walking by, or a speck of dust, or literally anything other than what you actually need to do.
Hyperfocus is an amazing tool, unfortunately we have no fucking control over it.
Yeah, like I dunno, I think a lot of things I do by accident with my ADHD are super cool. But it definitely hurts more than it helps, and I don't think that's just because "we live in a society". This post feels like huffing a suffocating dose of copium.
An awful lot of those bullets hit me
I think I can relate to literally all of them. Not competitive Jenga, but some other niche topic that I will be hyper interested for a consecutive 4 hours after midnight. I spent a whole night one time learning about roller derby and watching replays of the women's final for the past few years. I had never watched it before in my life and went all in. The men's version is not as good. They are too fast and strong, so it's more boring and less nuanced.
"I constantly miss small details and need to quintuple check everything do."
This one is the opposite for me. I'm great at detail work. The stuff I miss is the glaringly obvious giant thing right in front of me.
I went to a wedding this weekend, and bought four drinks from the bar before I noticed half of the bartop was covered in two liter pop bottles I could have been pouring drinks from for free the whole time...
I think we're describing the same tendency lol. I have a knack for recognizing problems i expect to see. There was this one job where i was like rain man, scanning qnd noting imperfections that needed to be fixed before the next process could start.
But i also can have a very hard time with complicated interlocking processes. Many times i end up overthinking the problems i do see to the detriment of something simple.
To extend the metaphor of this brain i(we?) inhabit, i am exceptional at finding things in difficult places but have the hardest time finding something right in front of me
I've had a similar experience too. One time I couldn't find my phone, so I start looking high and low. Not in my bedroom, not in the bathroom, the kitchen... At this point, I'm turning over every stone, looking through cabinets and drawers, running out to my car to see if it's in there. Come back in and decide that it must've fallen under my bed and I just didn't hear it. Can't see under there really well, so I pull out the flashlight on my phone. Start looking under there, still not turning up. The panic is really starting to kick in.
An embarrassing amount of time passes before I realize that I'm holding and using the thing I'm looking for.
Crap, now I need to know about competitive Jenga ...
Imagine how many things that you have to do that only exist because of ridiculous social expectations on what someone else thinks is important.
Being different in a way that would work if conformity was less important shouldn't be a disability.
exist because of ridiculous social expectations
This is called "taking other people's opinions into account". That's what a society is. If you want your opinions listened to and acted on by others, you have to reciprocate.
Do you think "neurotypical" people love dealing with random people's opinions and needs? No, but they see the value in cooperating with others to get what they want. You are "expected" to wear clothes in public because I don't know how often you bathe yourself. You are "expected" to not yell in public because if every rando yelled whenever they wanted, life would be more stressful.
What do you mean? I'm totally supposed to be on Lemmy instead of working ...
All totally true! It’s definitely not great, but I try to find the silver linings rather than beat myself up about the hard parts. Good point about my ADHD being different than others’
Implying you can control or induce these hyperfixations in a productive way is disingenuous at best, measurably harmful at worst.
If you work in a job that can use use the chaos in a productive way that's great, but I'm willing to bet you still face abnormally high difficulty with general life tasks, and consistently struggle to enforce a work/life balance.
You're not helping people with ADHD by posting this. You're establishing an unattainable standard for people that are already doing everything in their power just to get by.
It's also pretty cringe "mom says I'm a genius" shit
Every parent should be gassing their kid up though. Most of our "successful" people are just normal kids that never hit a wall or had help getting around walls. Realistic expectations are what keeps people from jumping jobs for a raise; applying for positions they don't fully qualify for; moving for better job market access; retraining for management roles; and so much more.
Note, I'm not talking about rags to riches, success can be a first generation college graduate getting a professional job; a homeless kid getting a steady job and pulling their family off the streets; a burnt out delivery guy getting a union warehouse job. The point is people with low expectations don't look for new opportunities.
Thank you. That's exactly right.
There are so many, countless disadvantages people with ADHD suffer from. And this post just suggests they're hidden geniuses with no problems at al...
Right, not once have I fixated on something by choice.
You think I want to be googling and playing pokemon go at work home and in bed for the past 3 weeks despite only playing it for a week 8 years ago?
Just once I want the fixation on house work or something like the gym
This swerves way into "ADHD is a superpower" territory which is bullshit.
edit: For example, while I have a lot of these traits, I also can't remember to put a new trash bag in the trash bin when I take the full bag out to the garage, which is a 1 minute task. Despite reminding myself AS I'm removing the full bag. Twice a week. For years now. Because I will see something in the garage or think of something while doing the mundane task that completely derails my train of thought.
I do similar things when a task has two physically separate locations like taking out the trash.
While walking out with the trash I will repeat constantly "put in new bag" all the way to the garbage and all the way back, otherwise the task doesn't get completed.
I would be lying if I said I hadn’t done the same thing. “New bag new bag new bag new ba… hey why did I leave that camp chair over there. Man I miss camping. Well trash is done, back to the computer!”
if it's immediately rewarding
Hell of a caveat there.
Thinking about it, a manager who knows how to trick adhd workers to hyper focus on stuff could make a killer department 🤔
In my experience all it takes is a reasonable manager who can make progressive goals that are easily achievable which help build and develop a person while getting them engaged and acknowledging their hard work at each stage. It's much easier than tricking i feel
If more workplaces incorporated performance based snacks it wouldn't be!
If anybody here is an engineer, I'd highly recommend applying for jobs at tech startups. It's very chaotic and disorganized; you'll be constantly putting out fires. But you know where you're at when you're putting out fires? Flow state.
It's so true, but i also get tired and burn out fast
This went from engaging to utter burnout and misery very quickly for me.
The problem is that they are horrifically toxic places.
Where are these high functioning ADHD people? The adhd person I know I’m my life can’t really get things done in a reliable way.
Hello it's me, high functioning non medicated adhd (or some form of) person.
I do extremely well in my tech-centric job because of exactly what the post is talking about. I do fall short on longer term projects (forget about them until last minute) but most of my job is more in the moment, which works well for me and my skillset.
Edit: I guess that's ultimately the thing right, it's possible for the work or job to fit with an ADHD mind, but many jobs do not.
Imagine being a Financial Auditor / Accountant with ADHD.
I'm willing to bet they don't exist.
Pretending it doesnt have downsides is disingenuous.
Just like non-adhd brains do.
I think the issue brought forward here is the lack of ahdh friendly work environments compared to the advantages that can be just as brutally exploited.
But your average manager is an extroverted neuronormie achiever & to such adhd work processes are really not intuitive. Not to mention how much less work they have if there is less individuality among the workers & everyone behaves the same-ish.
It's like morning people vs evening/night people. The morning chickens just have to "trust" that the lazy owls really do have energy later in the day & not judge (perceived) others evening productivity by their own.
ADHD, great for exploring, hunting and making it back home. Not so great for cubicle work…
I've made it work surprisingly well in software development - I work in the architecture field and as long as I'm truly diligent about note taking (or am lucky enough to have a trusted coworker to lean on) I'm able to make it work.
Also, micromanagers are your fucking bane if you have ADHD - sometimes I'm not working, I accept that and do house shit when I can't focus... I still produce more output than most of my coworkers but I absolutely do need full brain breaks.
ITT:
"it's not a superpower! i cant even do a boring and monotonous task!"
and
"I love that I found a place where I'm able to utilize the benefits of the way that my brain functions!"
🤔
It's a super power in the same way that being able to mentally move yourself while not being affected by gravity is a super power. In specific circumstances it's awesome. The rest of the time you're just trying to not float away.
I cannot read this sentence. I have tried 3 times but nothing is reaching my brain.
It's definitely too long of a sentence just to say 'ADHD is a superpower and society is bad.'
It seems we've been taught strict expectations about "functioning." When a machine doesn't get the resources it needs to do its function, it does not function, and it is not expected to function, if the mechanics are understood. We know a lot about what people need (still more to discover) but we're expected to "function" without having our needs met.
But you don't understand, Mr... Sandbag Tiara, was it? Can I call you Sandbag?
Sandbag, what we're really looking for in this position is someone who's really a people person, you know? Somebody who's a team player, ready to go the extra mile, fit in with our company culture because we're a """""family""""" here. Really shine in our three pointless but mandatory department-wide meetings per day, smile on demand, have a very firm handshake, and really help us close those KPI numbers.
The job in question is a backend software dev position, where the employee will theoretically never have to interact with anyone except their immediate boss, and has no reason whatsoever to emerge from their dungeon. But never mind that.
Employers wants slaves and servants, not mentats. Yes, its fucked up
Are there things we can do to take advantage of this? Even on my meds I struggle to write my documentation, but the initial period of trying to find a solution and making a working POC is so great
I struggled with this most of my life without knowing why, always feeling like I never measured up. Since being diagnosed and treated at 47 it made a huge difference. I set reasonable boundaries at work and I'm blessed with a sympathetic manager. He gives me tasks that allow me to play to my strengths and make a positive difference in the workplace.