forced him to be introspective, and forced him to figure out coping mechanisms on his own.
That's what I'm trying to get at. How many people are borderline enough that if they had to figure things out on their own wouldn't get diagnosed as an adult. Like I'm high functioning, but still too far in. But I've met a good number of people older than me that probably are autistic, but have learned to work with it.
Yes, see below.
I'm not arguing that they're not autistic, I don't understand where you're getting. Just that they've learned to "mask" and they think it's normal, and they've gotten to the point that it's not something they're consciously doing. IE I had a speech impediment, I had a counselor work with me to fix it, I spent months consciously thinking about pronouncing it correct, and eventually it became the "normal" thing to do and required no thought. Eye contact has never been something I'm good at, but it no longer burns my soul to look into someones eyes. And if I need to be a good boy it takes almost 0 thought to maintain eye contact. It's now the "normal" thing to do.