this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] UntouchedWagons@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

It just works.

[–] mean_bean279@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just assumed this was how Italians did capital punishment.

[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You get a choice: Death by cheese, death by pasta, or death by marinara

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is death by pasta being hanged?

[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah, you're whipped to death a cat o' nine tails made of cooked spaghetti

[–] TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Half cooked spaghetti would be more durable and effective.

[–] Samwizegamgi42@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] isame@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

You got a genuine chuckle out of me. Life's been a bit unkind lately, so thank you.

[–] Axiochus@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I wonder what the protocol is for the cheese. Like, how much do you salvage? You'll obviously want to save as much as possible without grossing out customers. Maybe you let the family eat the cheese most responsible for the death, as a kind of scapecheese? Or you do a reverse firing squad kind of deal where the cheeses are cleaned and randomized to share the blame.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

He should have just kept opening his inventory to eat them as the fell. What a noob.

[–] OrnatePotato@feddit.uk 6 points 1 year ago

He knew the risks.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 1 year ago

Dovahkin, on a nearby mountain top: "Uh oh! Overencumbered. Hmmm.... I don't think I need all these wheels of cheese now that I have 30 million health potions. Off you go!"

Meanwhile

Italian man: "I sure hope I don't get crushed under the weight of thousands of falling cheese wheels, today."

[–] pedz@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

As much as this is tragic, I can't help but think about that episode of TNG when Worf got hit by a falling barrel and nearly died.

https://media.tenor.com/XbPBguZizYkAAAAd/worf-the-next-generation.gif

[–] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] dilligasatall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Not very gouda.

[–] 6mementomori@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I can't even imagine what your last sight would be like

[–] Rhaedas@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

"Do you think they got a new shipment of cheese wheels in the corner market today?"

"Look. This is every cheese wheel in the game."

"Townton is so beautiful this time of day."

insane laugh

/haver

[–] donuts@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago
[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The fate of one of the many unnamed NPC residents of Townton