this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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you might be an introvert, passionate about your job, or simply old enough to disregard friendships at work because you already have enough friends and a family.

The coworkers I like the most are the ones that come to work, don't like drama, do their job and go home. That's what I try to do.

However, there are always some established cliques who know how to play the unit / supervisor and get away doing much less, even feeling entitled to order you around, even though they are not your supervisor.

To people who experience this. How do you tolerate it? Even after changing jobs, this can happen at your new workplace, maybe it happens in every workplace?

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 55 points 4 months ago (2 children)

old enough to disregard friendships at work because you already have enough friends and a family.

No no. Thats not how getting older works. See what jappens is, as you get older, you realize that the people you're friends with are bunch of jackasses. So you stop talking to them.

And then you realize you have less drama in your life. So you kick out more jackasses out of your life.

Pretty soon, your life is much quieter, and drama free. You don't have to put up with stupid bullshit anymore.

And your family is nice and all, but everybody needs to calm down.

So it's not that you have enough friends when you're older. You have less. You just stopped giving a shit.

Thats the beauty of getting older. You stop giving a shit about people that don't matter.

[–] gigachad@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 months ago

Thank you, this was beautiful

[–] vestmoria@linux.community 0 points 4 months ago (3 children)

yes, a very beautiful post.

Lost_My_Mind: how do you do it? Because apparently I'm very thin skinned and overly political statements my coworkers blurt out trigger me or their boring marriage troubles bore me and I find myself trying to control me not to yell 'I don't give a f*ck about you, leave me alone', which of course earns me an invitation with management...

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

It seems like you have some growing to do. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

If you really can't handle hearing about others' issues, then you need to talk to someone about your own. Maybe therapy?

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I am not paid to manage people, I am paid to manage IT systems.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

It's a universal thing, you'll see that everywhere. The only thing you can change about it is your mindset.

You see that they aren't doing what you're doing, and you're jealous. That's natural, but would you want to put the time and energy required to buddy up with the boss as much as these other people do? Do you want to learn the bosses favorite snack and bring some in? Do you want to go sit with co-workers at a bar after work and listen to their personal bullshit?

I don't. So, I go to work, I do my job, and I get paid. Let them have all that other stuff. Even if it's not how you deal with life, they're using their skills (being charming) to survive just like how you use your skills (doing the job) to accomplish the same thing.

You can never see all the work that gets people where they are, so don't assume that it requires more or less effort or skill than what you're doing.

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 4 months ago

I just don't care if someone is doing more work or less, unless them doing less makes my job harder.

Now them trying to tell you what to do? That'd be a bigger issue. I'd just tell them I was busy doing my own work.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 11 points 4 months ago

You don't. You do your job and go home. Job is there to make money, if you want friends or fairness, look for that outside work.

[–] masquenox@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

get away with doing less?

Why is this your problem? It's not your company and you don't owe the capitalists who own it the time of day - so why are you making this your problem?

[–] Pika@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago

if it isn't fucking me over I don't care, but like if it's fucking me over I'm not afraid to fight fire with fire and I will stoop to their level until mgmt addresses the problem

[–] NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

do their job and go home. That's what I try to do.

I feel like this is OK and it is not your real problem....

feeling entitled to order you around, even though they are not your supervisor.

...but this is.

Do not play along. Learn to not get ordered around. Tell them / teach them that they can play their games at somebody else, but not at you.

[–] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

If I am happy with my job, then I don't care about what others are doing unless it directly effects me. I picked a line of work where I don't really have to rely on too many other people doing a lot of work for me to do my job (auto mechanic). So if someone else is working slow, I don't really care unless its the parts person or service writer. And if they're being slow, I will just physically stand in front of them an watch them do whatever I need right there, then I can leave and keep working.

Don't compare yourself to other people, its a dangerous trap. Every person is different and capable of maintaining different work levels. Otherwise you mighr end up overconfident or depressed.

If someone who isn't your boss is ordering you around, just ignore them. They're not your boss.

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

You resign after you found a new job that will value you.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

The first thing I learned is to never make friends with co-workers, making it much easier to ignore everything else. If what they are doing does not effect my job or responsibilities IDC.