this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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I'm with you brother, there's not one place within 100 miles of me that you can just sit and drink coffee and have a gay old time. There's about 30 of them.
Ah, but can you profess burgeoning romantic interest in your fellow patrons at those or are we back at the original "no that isn't appropriate to ask out a woman just trying to enjoy her coffee, either?"
At the 30 coffee shops near me it doesn't exactly seem encouraged, but if you insist, I'm willing to try. Even makes "can I buy you a coffee" easier since we're already there assuming it is appropriate.
The only rules are the ones you make playbooiiii
Ehh not buying that. By your logic I can just take what I want. Pretty sure that's called "crime" as it is against the "rules."
But I'll play along: Sure, and I've decided that as a rule I'd like to not be considered creepy, and as such am attempting to ask people out in a venue that won't make women uncomfortable or scared or whatever other negative attributes one pins on those seeking romantic partnerships outside of tinder or the liquor hut.
Sure, I could throw caution to the wind, say fuck it, be scared, think I'm creepy, eventually someone will get coffee with me," and it frankly seems like I'm at this last resort, so I may start, but I will feel skeevy when some girl is obviously like "I'm just trying to enjoy my work/the gym/hobbies/the store/coffee shop/school/park/etc."
I guess you may be right though at the end of the day, fuck em, a dude gotta eat. Them having negative feelings about it is a them problem I spose.
I mean no but kinda. One thing that's practically always going to be the case is that you're physically intimidating, and you should never shirk away from acknowledging that, and be comfortable with it. The trick is to look like a roller-coaster: Intimidating, sure, but it's not going to throw you around unless you get on and when you do, you'll still be safe.
I mean, it was a little hyperbolically stated lol. I don't mean actually be creepy of course.
But fair enough, "fuck it" it is! I don't really want to start drinking again which seems like my only other option lol.
Playboooooooioooii
I think you are overthinking it way too much. I'm just talking about the social norms. Who said anything about committing crimes??? Did you think I was talking about breaking the law? Wtf? You trying to grab a tit while you say hey? Just say what's up and if she doesn't bite, go to the next one. Don't get discouraged, it's all about getting out there and practicing but it sounds like you may have some social insecurities that need to be addressed first... playbooiiii LOL
Is what I was making a joke about. There are, in fact, "rules," being the crux of the joke.
But no I mean the fact that supposedly no woman wants men to say what's up anywhere but the bar, which I do not frequent, or the dating apps, which are spyware.
I think I'm starting to understand why you are having problems playbooiiii
Not everyone can be a super cool playbooiiii like you I guess lol.
Nah I just go to the bar and do some shots. Buy some drinks for the girls. Social lubricant, You know what I mean jelly bean?
So is the bar "a place other than the bar or dating apps" though? You see my conundrum. Must I start drinking again simply to find a partner? Sobriety (well, weed, but whatever) is a married man's game?
It would be a lot easier if you drank casually id say but I'm assuming you would probably want a SO that doesn't drink as well. There was an organization near me that did all kinds of kayaking, hiking, theme parks, restaurants, tours just for singles called 'events and adventures' or excursions or something like that and a friend of mine had some luck with meeting his wife there. Maybe you could try if you are in the US I'm sure every major city has something like that
That sounds like a good idea if it's specifically for singles, sounds like exactly what I'm looking for! I'll see if my area has anything, thanks!