this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2024
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How do you date? (beehaw.org)
submitted 9 months ago by Gaywallet@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org
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Recently had a conversation with a good friend about dating, and it had me curious about how everyone on Beehaw approaches dating. Tell me a bit about how you date! Here's a few prompts/thoughts I'm curious about:

  • How long does it take for you to know if you're attracted to someone (sexually, romantically, emotionally, shared interests, etc)?
  • What do you like to do when you date and does it change depending on how many dates you've been on or how well you know the person?
  • Once you start dating someone, how long does it take you to understand whether you want to date the person long term or whether it's not going to work out?
  • Do you only date people you meet in real life or do you use dating apps? How do you approach going from stranger to dating them?
  • What's most important in deciding whether you want to date someone? Do they need to have an interest in activities you enjoy, shared values, emotional intelligence, a certain kind of humor, or something else?
  • Is there something you don't understand about dating and want to share your frustration?
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[–] furrowsofar@beehaw.org 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I kind of feel the same way. I met my wife through friends after I had kind of given up. So I recommend that approach. I never had any success with the dating to meet someone idea. I was more or less clueless too.

I really have had only two long term relationships. An on and off one with a childhood friend which failed for many reasons but mostly location and career issues. The other is my wife which was after my career got going and I had a stable location. There were a few people I asked out... and even fewer that accepted... and maybe only one that was more then one date.

Moral is you may still end up finding someone after giving up. There is something said for being open even after giving up. It also only takes finding one reasonable person.