The Onion

4417 readers

1024 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

557

Scientists Create First Hummus Platter That Comes With Enough Pita Bread (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 9 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

35 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I am interested in this Burrito Accelerator experiment they speak of.

[–] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I have begun preliminary work on my own burrito acceleration, starting with a traditional low-speed methodology, utilising my body's internal food-moving mechanisms.

The contents of burrito, when multiple units collide in the gut, appears to be well-distributed at the body's egress, which is a promising result.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I hope you're sealing your tortilla closed with cheese for these experiments.

[–] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

if by "tortilla" you mean "colon", then yes, I am sealing it with cheese