this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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I agree with this. I have found that most women do not however. It has been a great trouble for me, to talk about, when trying to find a new partner.
This is pretty surprising to me. In my experience (as a woman myself) women are much more likely than men to be vocally supportive of treating sex work like any other service and of breaking the taboo of offering or receiving those services.
I actually can’t think of any woman in my life who would judge someone negatively for seeing a sex worker (assuming full consent from all involved parties including partners). Most men I know would similarly have no issue with it, but a handful would read it as not being able to get laid and see that as something negative.
My social circle isn’t representative of the general population, but I’m still surprised to hear your experience is dramatically different. I wonder if the way the conversations are going make the issue more about consent, cheating, or other non-sex-work-specific ethical questions.
I have sometimes seen a phenomenon where people are very supportive of things until they are affected directly, and then they are supportive of those things in other people’s lives.
Ok but also, I’ve dated sex workers and that’s why I’m a bit yeeshy around people who hire them until I know they’re cool. I’ve heard stories.
Like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with hiring a sex worker. There are plenty of good reasons to do so. There are things where it’s better to hire a sex worker than to ask for from a hookup. And despite all of that, it’s not a trait that leaves one in the best company. Honestly, the best comparison I can think of is being a lawyer.
People supporting sex work being legal and the non-acceptance of people using sex workers in illegal/non consensual situations are congruous positions.
I think more women would be understanding to men paying for sex than men would be to women paying for it.
Do you make use of the sex workers while in the relationship with the new partner?
Absolutely not
Then why speak of it?
I don’t talk about previous sexual partners with new ones.
For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do
Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.
I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.
I never bring that up on dates.
This story made my panties wet.
Hopefully it’s not shit.
That's a surprising stance coming from SatansMaggotyCumFart
Okay, Gunt Rigger.
What an amecdote. Thank you for lightening my mind lol
That's a third date story
I get your point, but I think that's a bit of a false equivalence. You don't tell others of stuff like this likely because it's embarrassing, but what if someone isn't embarrassed of using sex services? Is it really the same thing then?
Why would I be embarrassed about that story?
I share it with my friends because it’s fucking hilarious.
I hope I never meet you or your friends.
Did this comment make your life any fuller or better in any way?
Does your existence do that for any other persons besides your accomplices?
Enjoy your existence, I’ll enjoy mine.
Have a nice day.
You have an over-sharing problem.
I can't agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.
Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.
I’ve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.
Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.
It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?
The fact that you need to "disclose" this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it
I think the issue is the portrayal of the types of men who use such services in media. They’re usually not good people.
https://youtu.be/-2LUssy5lwA
What incredible acting, I felt like I was there
They don’t want to date a man who is regularly going to sex workers?
Yeah I'm not sure why or how this would be a topic of conversation when, yknow, dating women.
@Driftking@lemmy.ml What have you been telling these women?
Then they are not worth your time