this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 158 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't see a problem with it as long as no trafficking is involved.

[–] Driftking@lemmy.ml 41 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I agree with this. I have found that most women do not however. It has been a great trouble for me, to talk about, when trying to find a new partner.

[–] twice_twotimes@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

This is pretty surprising to me. In my experience (as a woman myself) women are much more likely than men to be vocally supportive of treating sex work like any other service and of breaking the taboo of offering or receiving those services.

I actually can’t think of any woman in my life who would judge someone negatively for seeing a sex worker (assuming full consent from all involved parties including partners). Most men I know would similarly have no issue with it, but a handful would read it as not being able to get laid and see that as something negative.

My social circle isn’t representative of the general population, but I’m still surprised to hear your experience is dramatically different. I wonder if the way the conversations are going make the issue more about consent, cheating, or other non-sex-work-specific ethical questions.

[–] Bitrot@lemmy.sdf.org 47 points 1 year ago

I have sometimes seen a phenomenon where people are very supportive of things until they are affected directly, and then they are supportive of those things in other people’s lives.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I think more women would be understanding to men paying for sex than men would be to women paying for it.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do you make use of the sex workers while in the relationship with the new partner?

[–] Driftking@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then why speak of it?

I don’t talk about previous sexual partners with new ones.

[–] Driftking@lemmy.ml 35 points 1 year ago (4 children)

For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.

I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.

I never bring that up on dates.

[–] Bluehood380@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This story made my panties wet.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Guntrigger@feddit.ch 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a surprising stance coming from SatansMaggotyCumFart

Okay, Gunt Rigger.

[–] Driftking@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

What an amecdote. Thank you for lightening my mind lol

[–] 3ntranced@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

That's a third date story

[–] HellAwaits@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I get your point, but I think that's a bit of a false equivalence. You don't tell others of stuff like this likely because it's embarrassing, but what if someone isn't embarrassed of using sex services? Is it really the same thing then?

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why would I be embarrassed about that story?

I share it with my friends because it’s fucking hilarious.

[–] richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope I never meet you or your friends.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Did this comment make your life any fuller or better in any way?

[–] richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does your existence do that for any other persons besides your accomplices?

Enjoy your existence, I’ll enjoy mine.

Have a nice day.

[–] ChrisLicht@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You have an over-sharing problem.

[–] DrQuint@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.

[–] ChrisLicht@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.

I’ve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.

[–] TheActualDevil@sffa.community 4 points 1 year ago

Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.

It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?

[–] jayemar@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

The fact that you need to "disclose" this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it

[–] NightAuthor@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the issue is the portrayal of the types of men who use such services in media. They’re usually not good people.

[–] tailiat@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] NightAuthor@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

What incredible acting, I felt like I was there

[–] StringTheory@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They don’t want to date a man who is regularly going to sex workers?

[–] EremesZorn@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago

Yeah I'm not sure why or how this would be a topic of conversation when, yknow, dating women.

[–] MadMenace@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago

@Driftking@lemmy.ml What have you been telling these women?

[–] NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Then they are not worth your time

[–] JeffCraig@citizensgaming.com 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah it should be legalized.

What people do with their bodies is their own choice.